Don't know what to do anymore. A little whiney I guess.

eponine7682

For those of you who remember my DH having surgery on his spinal cord in August, here is a slight update. We thought he would get better, and for a while he was. He even was the one who wanted me to buy OPKs and do some TI before we can start IVF in January, and that is saying a lot because he tends to have performance anxiety when he knows we are BDing... Although they didn't find any sperm at his last SA in September, we thought for sure it was due to the surgery and he would be up around in no time. However, for the past couple weeks his back pain has come back. Not quite as bad as it was in August, but bad enough where he is needing to take some stronger pain killers that he hasn't had to use since before the surgery.

He went to see his neurosurgeon today for a follow up appt and the doctor said there was nothing he could do and he had to see a pain management doctor. Needless to say, he is frustrated, angry and just plain ready to give up. Tensions have been high, and we haven't even been doing TI or using the OPKs because he is hardly in the mood. On top of that, he has an appointment this week with his urologist as well. We don't have the results yet from the SA he did on Thursday. They were supposed to be ready today but for some reason they are not. I am just praying my heart out that they will show improvement. He doesn't need any more bad news. But I am scared. What if the results still show no sperm? Or just a couple?

I am mad at myself for not doing IVF when we were told a year ago August that it was our only option. I am mad that I was stupid enough to think we could get his counts high enough to do IUI. Ha! At least we had a million sperm back then, now we may have none! We completely wasted a year and filled it with nothing but pain and heartache. And now, that we are so close to being able to finally do it and I am not sure we will have any sperm to do it with. And even if we do it, and I am one of the lucky people to get KU, it won't change that fact that MH is in constant pain. I don't know what to do. I guess right now all I can do is wait and look forward to more doctors and more medical bills. Sorry to be such a downer ladies. Thanks for listening.

Delta04

I am so sorry to hear that YH is still experience pain.  I know from personal experience that dealing with a chronic health issue is very difficult. 

Dealing with IF is so hard - it is easy to second guess yourself and the decisions you have made.  ::hugs:: to you.  I really hope YH's SA numbers improve.

NMscubagirl

((huge hugs)) I am so so sorry you are going through this. It is so rough. I know it is hard, but please try not to second guess yourself. You did what was right for you and YH at the time and that is always the right decision. Please also know that with counts that are low they can fluctuate wildly in a very small period of time. It may not be that he is just not making any, it may be that you just didn't get the test done at the right time during the testicular cycle. For us DH only produces sperm 1 week out of every 70 days. If we did the S/As at any other time we get 0, but during that week we get anywhere from 250,000-750,000. We even bought a microscope to help us keep track. GL to you doll and I hope your husband finds a way to start feeling better. 

Aegis2005

(((hugs))) I am so sorry that your husband is having so much pain. 

eponine7682

Thank you so much ladies. I was just really emotional when I heard how my DH sounded over the phone, so defeated. My hope is that I can get my REs office to give me the results later today and with any luck it's an improvement that will cheer DH up a tad. Thanks again!

Nagem927

Just wanted to say I'm thinking about you & DH during this frustrating time...

MAbride0808

I don't really have much advice, but I wanted to give you some (((hugs))).  IF is so difficult even when everything goes smoothly.