Feeling lonely

NoodleM

I posted a few months back about how lonely I feel because I'm in a new place. We now live in the same city as my husbands family instead of the city where I lived in with my family and friends. It's a 9-10 hour drive and we just can't afford to go see them.

I felt lonely because I didn't know anyone and I didn't think I would get a baby shower. It was something I wanted to experience once because you only get one with your first.

My MIL ended up offering to throw one for me, which made me feel really happy. I have two friends and my two SIL's, those are the only people I hang out with outside of work. My two friends are actually girlfriends of my husbands high school friends that I've become friendly with. My MIL didn't want it to be co ed and wanted me to invite more girls so I invited 6 girls from my team at work. One girl I was excited about coming because she is pregnant and just had her son a year ago and we like to talk about pregnancy/baby related stuff.

It was today and only two girls from work showed up other than my SIL's. Of my two outside work friends, one was out of town and the other bailed without telling me until I asked where she was. The girl I really like from work didn't even show up. Everyone RSVP'd, except one girl from work and the out of town girl. We were expecting 8 people and there were only 4.

And my MIL commented infront of everyone 'Well Steph, I just don't think anyone else is going to come'

I feel bad, she put a lot of thought and planning into it, just for two people outside the family to actually show up. And I just feel lonely because I didn't matter enough for these people to call and say they were not going to show up after all.

Pity party for one  Just needed to vent/whine. I could use a glass of wine, I wish we had some. 

stephers_7

I'm sorry. That would be incredibly disappointing. I can't believe the others who RSVP'd didnt' call or anything. Chin up, you're going to have your best friend in the whole wide world very very soon! 

NYGirl02

That's a bummer....sorry

mlkauffman

Big hug!  It's great that your MIL threw you a shower.  No matter what you were still princess for the day. Did you get to eat cake?  

nilly5

::hugs:: I know how ya feel. With my first baby shower, I invited about 6 of my good girl friends and only 2 showed up. Needless to say, they are still my only good close friends.

dartkel01

I'm so sorry that that happened! It's so tough living in a new place without your family and friends around at a time like this. And you can't even enjoy a glass of wine either. No win situation. Did you get some nice things from the shower?

If it's any consolation, I've been feeling the same way. DH and I moved closer to his family and friends (1500 miles from mine) about 3 months ago. I don't have any friends here either and I'm pretty shy about making friends which sucks. He keeps pushing me to make friends with his HS and college friends' wives which is so forced. I work in research pretty much alone with no one to hang out with at work so it's difficult there too! I hate relying so much on DH, but it's hard not to. And we moved to a place where college football is religion and every Saturday he's out watching the game with friends while I'm at home with the dog. Fun fun.

Sorry to turn your vent into mine...may I join your pity party? PM me if you'd like to vent more...I COMPLETELY understand.

mrsfowler1016

I can join too!

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It is SO hard when you don't have your friends and family around. My husband and I are both from really small towns and after we got married we moved four hours away for work. It was a wonderful decision financially, but I don't know anyone here. Our family visits occasionally (maybe once every 3 months) and usually just stays the day. I have no friends here at all and work in a corporate setting that I absolutely despise. No one except DH knows the real me here and DH works crazy hours being a tattoo artist. I am home alone all the time. I go out to eat alone, go to the pool alone, go grocery shopping alone. So trust me, if you ever want to vent or complain I will gladly listen I know how hard it can be!

emd2887

I'm sorry your shower didn't turn out the way you'd hoped. It does really stink that people couldn't even be bothered to call. I know how hard it is sometimes to be far from the people you know and love. Feel free to vent/whine all you need, and treat yourself to something nice. 

NoodleM

I'm feeling a little less alone after reading your guys' responses!

I feel like my husband is my best and only friend sometimes. But he has friends that he needs to spend time with too. I feel like I have to be friends with all their girlfriends/wives too. There's one girl I've kinda bonded with but she was one of the ones that bailed tonight. My husband is going out to drinks with her boyfriend tonight so I wonder if he'll tell him how upset I felt.

He came home from work tonight and told me I should go to work tomorrow and get really mad and in everyones face about it. I told him I'm not going to do that, I'm going to stand strong with my head held high and not let them know it bothered me so much.

Thanks for all your responses! It really helped reading them.

erinemcg

I can relate. I moved 1500 miles away from family and friends to a tiny town in OK after I got married so my husband could finish vet school.

 My job is an hour away and very demanding so it has been hard to make good friends at either place. I have friends but none that I feel like I can count on.

My husband is always studying or away on his rotations. It is pretty lonely, but I am determined to make the best of it and do things for myself that I would never have done before like take guitar lessons and learn to make amazing sauces.

Hang in there! 

alexvause

seashell_83

That's sweet of your DH to be upset for you, but I understand the going in head high and making it seem like it's not a big deal.  It's hard but for the best.

I still want to send (Hugs) to you.  I understand moving away from everyone and not having friends.  DF and I moved 5 hours from our friends and family back in February.  A few of our couples friends have moved here too for work but we don't really get together with anyone too often because the guys work all the time!  I get together with one of the girls maybe once every 3-4 weeks but it's not the same as getting together with your girlfriends and family. 

I basically sit at home everyday all day unless I take my DF to work so I have the vehicle.  I go to town on my own to do laundry, doc appts, grocery shopping, etc.  It gets really lonely doing everything by yourself all the time.  I am definitely looking forward to when our son is here so I am not alone all the time, even though it's not like interacting with an adult.

Hang in there sweetie   Anytime you need to vent or just chat you can always PM me or just post away!