Introducing myself
Hi everyone. ?This is my first time on this particular board, but I am a regular on the NH Nest, and used to be on the TTTC and TTC 6+ month board.
I found out during week 14 of my pregnancy that I had severe systemic lupus and had stage 4 kidney failure, as well as fluid around my lungs and heart. ?I was advised to terminate the pregnancy, but I had tried for so long (21 cycles) that our baby was a miracle I wasn't going to easily part with. ?
After 3.5 more weeks of struggling with lesser medications that would be safe for her, we found out on Wednesday that she wasn't getting enough blodd and was 3.5 weeks to small - so no growth since the week I found out about the lupus. ?My kidneys are totally leaking blood, so it was a worry they had, but they thought she'd just grow slower. ?She was growing totally irregularly. ?For instance her femur was at 14 weeks, but other parts of her were at 13 weeks, her heart was functioning, but struggling, and her head was too small too. ?
In addition, the lupus meds triggered life threatening blood pressure levels for me, so I had a D&E yesterday. ?Physically, all went well - but we are devastated. ?The doctors have advised us not to ever get pregnant again, since the flareup was so acute during the pregnancy. ?Our biological TTCing is over, but we want to look into adoption. ?I don't know the first thing to even ask.
I have heard that you are all very supportive - and knowledgeable - so here I am. ?I am sure I'll have a zillion questions, so if you have a FAQ post, please let me know.
Hugs to all of you -
Kristin?
Re: Introducing myself
Oh.... I'm so sorry for you loss.
I'm at the beginning of the adoption journey, myself.
Good Luck!
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. My sympathies.
We had a similar situation, and my best advice is to give yourself time to heal. You will know when it is time to move on. For us, we started the process slowly by going to some agency orientation meetings. This allowed us to slowly start to educate ourselves. In time, we felt comfortable with the decision to adopt. The first big decision is domestic vs. international. Also, talk to those you know who have adopted. They are a wealth of support!
Adoption can be a long and difficult road, too. However, the wonderful thing about adoption is that there's an assured happy ending.
Good luck to you!
I am heartbroken for you, as I know that was likely the most difficult and painful decision you will ever have to make. You are welcome here, and hope you find that we are a loving group!
As pp said, make sure you give yourself time to heal, and know we are happy to answer any questions you have.
Kirsten
Thank you all. ?
We had started talking about adoption about a month before we got pregnant, so we've committed ourselves to that as our next step. ?(Actually, we had said all along that we'd try for one biological child, but then try to adopt the rest of our family based on our finances and such - there are so many children out there - we just wanted one infant of our own and then we'd be open to older children as well.)
?We definitely need time to heal - but I am totally Type A and figure I'll start putting together some information in the meantime.
Hugs to all.?
Hello there. I am so so sorry for your loss. The gals on this board have been great in the very little time that I have been here.
We are new to this journey also
{{Hugs}} to you and your family
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woundsWow, so many difficult things to face all at one time. I am so very sorry for your loss, and I hope your personal medical situation is going to get better! I cant begin to imagine what you are going through! I am new to this board, too and have found all to be very sweet and supportive here.
Give yourself some time to get better and take care of yourself and when you are ready to embark on your next steps you will find this board to be very helpful! Good luck on your journey! Feel better soon!
Oh, Kristin, I am so sorry for your loss and for your diagnosis.
This group of women are phenomenal! Lots of good information w/no drama!
Please keep in contact!
I am so so sorry for your loss! Make sure you take care of yourself and get therapy. Adoption can be a difficult and emotional road with it's own set of losses -- a great book is Adoption for Dummies. It will really give you tons of information to think about right now.
Let us know if you need anything -- you'll be in my thoughts and prayers!
Hi Kristin,
I am so sorry for your loss ((giant hugs)). We are actually starting this process as well, we are looking into international adoption.
If you need anything, even if it's a cup of tea and an ear, please let me know.
((hugs))
-Deb
I am so sorry for your loss! Welcome to the board, as everyone has said this is a wonderful board. Everyone is very helpful with answering any questions that you might have.
I wish you lots of luck when you are ready to move forward with adoption.
I am so very sorry for your loss. ?I know what it is like to get a shocking diagnosis when you are pregnant. ?It is completely unfair, and it doesn't help that the maternal instinct and the survival instinct conflict with each other. ?It sounds like you are dealing with everything very well. ?Please give yourself time to heal. ??
I am just starting to look into adoption myself, so I can't really give you any advice there. ?This board is very supportive and full of good information though. ?I wish you luck in your journey to be a mom!?