They're fear mongering on 1st Tri.

couliegirl

This seems a little extreme to me, but then again I'm a FTM and haven't begun the necessary research to make by decision yet. What say you NBB?

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/60164646.aspx

 

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Under.the.Rose

It's not "fear mongering". It's the truth. Natural birth is awesome and I always encourage people to go med-free/intervention free if possible. My point was that all birth (natural, medicated, surgical, etc.) comes with unknown risks and it's important not to brush that fact aside just because you are told you're entitled to this awesome, natural, womanly experience. It doesn't happen for everyone despite how educated or determined they are. I know I came off as harsh in that post, but I've been there.

ILoveRunning

Not fear mongering in my opinion.  I guess I have been around long enough to see some really venomous stuff spewed towards home birth.  I think that most of the posters gave her decent advice and encouraged the OP to do her research.  Most said that they personally weren't comfortable with the risk (whether real or perceived), but weren't putting home birth, generally speaking, down.

StacieJane

I'm not having a home birth, but I am generally annoyed by the perception that home birth is not as "safe" as a hospital birth.

wifeofadam

The one statement that always makes my blood boil is "how would you live with yourself if your baby died at home".  It's the stupidest question ever.  First, by saying it you are implying that your baby wouldn't have died at the hospital or that giving birth at the hospital is 100% safe.  I always want to turn to the mothers that ask me that question and ask them how they would live if their baby died from a c-section or complications from an intervention that they chose to participate in.  But you know, I would never ask that question because I'm smart enough not to blame a mother like that.  No one questions those choices and blames the mother for making them, but everyone assumes that a mother who gives birth at home and has a complication is to blame.

We all make choices.  We all carry risks with our choices, whether in a hospital or at home.  Ultimately, we all feel we are doing what is best for our families.  Period.  

 

allisonmarie22

We're giving our honest opinions. It's not fear mongering.

Also, no one likes a tattle tale. Just sayin.

LaurelBee

+adamwife+:

The one statement that always makes my blood boil is "how would you live with yourself if your baby died at home".  It's the stupidest question ever.  First, by saying it you are implying that your baby wouldn't have died at the hospital or that giving birth at the hospital is 100% safe.  I always want to turn to the mothers that ask me that question and ask them how they would live if their baby died from a c-section or complications from an intervention that they chose to participate in.  But you know, I would never ask that question because I'm smart enough not to blame a mother like that.  No one questions those choices and blames the mother for making them, but everyone assumes that a mother who gives birth at home and has a complication is to blame.

We all make choices.  We all carry risks with our choices, whether in a hospital or at home.  Ultimately, we all feel we are doing what is best for our families.  Period.  

 

 

  I think I love you

pinksweetpea2

I wouldn't call MOST of it fear mongering, but there is a LOT of ignorance floating around in that post.   It is not surprising considering the state of our maternity system today.  

sschwege

It is a little bit worrisome to me that cost seems to be the motivating factor in her decision to consider a home-birth.  It seems to me that however we choose to bring our babies into the world it should be coming from a position of what we have decided is best for our families; not what is cheapest.   

Kristine Schilling

not fear mongering... but you know, not one of them mentioned the fact that a natural birth at the hospital will be at the lower end of the price spectrum....

veganxvictoria

I wouldn?t call it fear mongering as much as the usual ignorance. I'm having a birth with midwives at a birth center. It has been shown on to many occasions to count that as long as it's a low-risk pregnancy that it is perfectly safe to have an out of hospital birth. If you have a good mid-wife they should have you checked at the beginning and end of your pregnancy to make sure everything is safe and low-risk and also has the experience and knowledge to know when it's time to go to the hospital if the need comes. Considering I want a completely natural child birth with no interventions (as long as there isn't an emergency) I can't think of one good reason to be in a hospital. Now what I will say is that if being out of hospital would cause someone to worry and stress then it's not for them you have to be in the place you feel the most comfortable for me that's without a bunch of doctors and nurses telling me what to do I want to be in control and enjoy my birth experience some people prefer having someone else in-charge. 

Under.the.Rose

veganxvictoria:

I wouldn?t call it fear mongering as much as the usual ignorance. I'm having a birth with midwives at a birth center. It has been shown on to many occasions to count that as long as it's a low-risk pregnancy that it is perfectly safe to have an out of hospital birth. If you have a good mid-wife they should have you checked at the beginning and end of your pregnancy to make sure everything is safe and low-risk and also has the experience and knowledge to know when it's time to go to the hospital if the need comes. Considering I want a completely natural child birth with no interventions (as long as there isn't an emergency) I can't think of one good reason to be in a hospital. Now what I will say is that if being out of hospital would cause someone to worry and stress then it's not for them you have to be in the place you feel the most comfortable for me that's without a bunch of doctors and nurses telling me what to do I want to be in control and enjoy my birth experience some people prefer having someone else in-charge. 

I was in a hospital with my midwives and the nurses and the OB I dealt with were all amazing as well. The OB still asks my midwives about me and she allowed me to go home early after my c-section since I didn't want to be in a hospital any longer than necessary. No one told me what to do and if they had, I still would've been making my own choices.

I think the whole fear of mothers being convinced to take part in interventions unecessarily because they're in a hospital is a concern when the mother isn't properly educated beforehand on her options. It also depends on the hospital and their policies of course. I was glad to have access to all available types of maternal care. That's why I didn't go with an OB this time around either, because I'll have both my midwives and an OB again since I chose midwives. 

I will also point out that I was a low-risk pregnancy, me and baby were perfectly healthy and doing great. I know that if I had been at home that my midwife would've been able to get us to the hospital in time for the emergency c-section... however being moved in any way while having contractions every minute for 45 seconds each is something that I would never wish on anyone. Hence my words of caution. 

I love my midwives and I trust them, but I'm glad I was in a hospital when DS was born. 

pepomntpat

Well, I'd say the post has largely degraded to fear mongering and flaming.  It didn't start that way, but that is where it is now. 

MrsS2203

Under.the.Rose:

veganxvictoria:

use someone to worry and stress then it's not for them you have to be in the place you feel the most comfortable for me that's without a bunch of doctors and nurses telling me what to do I want to be in control and enjoy my birth experience some people prefer having someone else in-charge.

I think the whole fear of mothers being convinced to take part in interventions unecessarily because they're in a hospital is a concern when the mother isn't properly educated beforehand on her options. It also depends on the hospital and their policies of course. I was glad to have access to all available types of maternal care. That's why I didn't go with an OB this time around either, because I'll have both my midwives and an OB again since I chose midwives. 

I will also point out that I was a low-risk pregnancy, me and baby were perfectly healthy and doing great. I know that if I had been at home that my midwife would've been able to get us to the hospital in time for the emergency c-section... however being moved in any way while having contractions every minute for 45 seconds each is something that I would never wish on anyone. Hence my words of caution. 

I love my midwives and I trust them, but I'm glad I was in a hospital when DS was born. 

I totally disagree with the bold parts of your reply.  I am educated and did research(could have done more) but the delivering OB took advantage of me.  She did NOT ask my permission on things and therefore I couldn't have given her my educated choice.  So not every OB/doctor has the patients care/interest at heart.  I wish that from the moment I met this lady I'd gone with my gut and kicked her out of my room.  Research is important, very important, but if the OB has a god complex or doesn't care the mother has no say in her experience.

veganxvictoria

Under.the.Rose:

 I was in a hospital with my midwives and the nurses and the OB I dealt with were all amazing as well. The OB still asks my midwives about me and she allowed me to go home early after my c-section since I didn't want to be in a hospital any longer than necessary. No one told me what to do and if they had, I still would've been making my own choices.

I think the whole fear of mothers being convinced to take part in interventions unecessarily because they're in a hospital is a concern when the mother isn't properly educated beforehand on her options. It also depends on the hospital and their policies of course. I was glad to have access to all available types of maternal care. That's why I didn't go with an OB this time around either, because I'll have both my midwives and an OB again since I chose midwives. 

I will also point out that I was a low-risk pregnancy, me and baby were perfectly healthy and doing great. I know that if I had been at home that my midwife would've been able to get us to the hospital in time for the emergency c-section... however being moved in any way while having contractions every minute for 45 seconds each is something that I would never wish on anyone. Hence my words of caution. 

I love my midwives and I trust them, but I'm glad I was in a hospital when DS was born. 

In no way was my post an attack on you it seems like you keep trying to justify your in hospital birth to everyone who replys. I'm also glad you had a great hospital expierence and I wish I could say it sounds like the norm but after having to talk to alot of people who have had children in hospital including my mother who had 4 out of 5 of us in hospital it is not a common one and after having been told I was "stupid and must love pain" by the one doctor i had to see it firmed in my mind that I would never be comfortable in a medical situation unless I needed medical help. However it isn't for everyone just like a hospital birth isn't for everyone you have to do what is best for you and your family.

Under.the.Rose

veganxvictoria:

Under.the.Rose:

 I was in a hospital with my midwives and the nurses and the OB I dealt with were all amazing as well. The OB still asks my midwives about me and she allowed me to go home early after my c-section since I didn't want to be in a hospital any longer than necessary. No one told me what to do and if they had, I still would've been making my own choices.

I think the whole fear of mothers being convinced to take part in interventions unecessarily because they're in a hospital is a concern when the mother isn't properly educated beforehand on her options. It also depends on the hospital and their policies of course. I was glad to have access to all available types of maternal care. That's why I didn't go with an OB this time around either, because I'll have both my midwives and an OB again since I chose midwives. 

I will also point out that I was a low-risk pregnancy, me and baby were perfectly healthy and doing great. I know that if I had been at home that my midwife would've been able to get us to the hospital in time for the emergency c-section... however being moved in any way while having contractions every minute for 45 seconds each is something that I would never wish on anyone. Hence my words of caution. 

I love my midwives and I trust them, but I'm glad I was in a hospital when DS was born. 

In no way was my post an attack on you it seems like you keep trying to justify your in hospital birth to everyone who replys. I'm also glad you had a great hospital expierence and I wish I could say it sounds like the norm but after having to talk to alot of people who have had children in hospital including my mother who had 4 out of 5 of us in hospital it is not a common one and after having been told I was "stupid and must love pain" by the one doctor i had to see it firmed in my mind that I would never be comfortable in a medical situation unless I needed medical help. However it isn't for everyone just like a hospital birth isn't for everyone you have to do what is best for you and your family.

It's all good I know I come off all riled up but it's nothing personal here. I get that

As a mom I know in my heart that no mom would make this kind of decision lightly and has very good personal reasons for deciding on home vs. hospital (etc). My best friend has had one hospital birth and two subsequent home births and its been great for her, I respect her choice and thankfully her and her babies are good.

catsinawindow

MrsS2203:

Under.the.Rose:

veganxvictoria:

use someone to worry and stress then it's not for them you have to be in the place you feel the most comfortable for me that's without a bunch of doctors and nurses telling me what to do I want to be in control and enjoy my birth experience some people prefer having someone else in-charge.

I think the whole fear of mothers being convinced to take part in interventions unecessarily because they're in a hospital is a concern when the mother isn't properly educated beforehand on her options. It also depends on the hospital and their policies of course. I was glad to have access to all available types of maternal care. That's why I didn't go with an OB this time around either, because I'll have both my midwives and an OB again since I chose midwives. 

I will also point out that I was a low-risk pregnancy, me and baby were perfectly healthy and doing great. I know that if I had been at home that my midwife would've been able to get us to the hospital in time for the emergency c-section... however being moved in any way while having contractions every minute for 45 seconds each is something that I would never wish on anyone. Hence my words of caution. 

I love my midwives and I trust them, but I'm glad I was in a hospital when DS was born. 

I totally disagree with the bold parts of your reply.  I am educated and did research(could have done more) but the delivering OB took advantage of me.  She did NOT ask my permission on things and therefore I couldn't have given her my educated choice.  So not every OB/doctor has the patients care/interest at heart.  I wish that from the moment I met this lady I'd gone with my gut and kicked her out of my room.  Research is important, very important, but if the OB has a god complex or doesn't care the mother has no say in her experience.

I'm going to disagree with the bolded statement as well, but with a different perspective as MrsS2203.  I had prepared for a natural hospital birth with an OB, and was VERY well informed and researched on interventions and my options.  During labor and delivery circumstances arose where I made decisions that, in hindsight, I regret (although I dislike that word) making. 

In all my preparation to make the best choices while in labor, I never realized how much labor can alter your ability to make decisions.  I was very amenable to suggestion while in labor, and just didn't have the energy to "fight" anything.  At a certain point in labor, I just went along with what I was told, not because I was uninformed, but just because I completely withdrew into my own head.

Unlike MrsS2203, I did make these decisions and I truly believe the OBs had my best interests at heart.  For my next labor, I just know I need to be in an enviroment where natural birth is supported, because I am not a good advocate for myself while I'm in labor.  Maybe some women are, but I was not.  For me, that means I'll be using a birth-center or a very natural birth-friendly hosptial with a MW next time around.

SeptemberBride'08

My own personal belief that pregnancy and labor have become so "routine" that many women don't actually invest a lot of time into finding out what it's all about. They rely on stories which typically aren't always the "easy birth" stories and that skews them one way or the other.

I asked my friends about their birth experience and I was completely shocked how only ONE of my 10 friends in the last two years educated herself on pain coping and learning what would be offered etc. Most of my friends just went in when they felt a  contraction, took all the drugs offered and were "so glad" they were in a hospital because they needed a c/s after pitocin. 

Laboring doesn't seem to be the thing were women are prepared for anymore. I think there is so much fear in laboring that it's easier to majority of women to listen to the stories that make them feel safe choosing to deliver at a hospital, take the offered methods of helping labor and that's it. There are only a few women that really want to know their true options and try to become as much as an advocate for themselves and their labor as possible, bring in a m/w or doula to help in that aspect of advocating in the event they can't during labor. Sure people love to say that they are an advocate and that they did their homework etc, but in reality people love to say things that they didn't always full do to make themselves feel better with their decisions. 

Bottom line, to each their own. If majority of women do their "research" based on stories and decide that a hospital birth, medicated or unmediated is best for them awesome. When it comes to laboring it's next to impossible to change someone's mind or show them another side once they have found their comfort zone.

Under.the.Rose

SeptemberBride'08:

My own personal belief that pregnancy and labor have become so "routine" that many women don't actually invest a lot of time into finding out what it's all about. They rely on stories which typically aren't always the "easy birth" stories and that skews them one way or the other.

I asked my friends about their birth experience and I was completely shocked how only ONE of my 10 friends in the last two years educated herself on pain coping and learning what would be offered etc. Most of my friends just went in when they felt a  contraction, took all the drugs offered and were "so glad" they were in a hospital because they needed a c/s after pitocin. 

Laboring doesn't seem to be the thing were women are prepared for anymore. I think there is so much fear in laboring that it's easier to majority of women to listen to the stories that make them feel safe choosing to deliver at a hospital, take the offered methods of helping labor and that's it. There are only a few women that really want to know their true options and try to become as much as an advocate for themselves and their labor as possible, bring in a m/w or doula to help in that aspect of advocating in the event they can't during labor. Sure people love to say that they are an advocate and that they did their homework etc, but in reality people love to say things that they didn't always full do to make themselves feel better with their decisions. 

Bottom line, to each their own. If majority of women do their "research" based on stories and decide that a hospital birth, medicated or unmediated is best for them awesome. When it comes to laboring it's next to impossible to change someone's mind or show them another side once they have found their comfort zone.

That's a whole lot of generalizations and assumptions about women in general in that post right there.

I understand how it's hard to wrap your head around the idea that there are women out there who aren't into serious reseach on the subject and have no reason to mistrust their doctors, but there are and that's fine. I'm a researcher too, I prefer to make educated choices when it comes to anything from picking a stroller or childbirth... but not everyone is wired that way and it's not a bad thing. 

We all feel strongly about our choices and some of us came to different conclusions. Some people put lots of weight in statistics and research, others in personal experience and precaution. When it comes right down to it we're all doing our best to make the right decisions for us and our babies. 

A woman who had a natural birth is no better than a woman who ended up with a c-section for whatever reason. Educating yourself can only do so much. You're not truly in control of how your birth will play out whether there are doctors present or midwives, in a hospital or at home,.... Period.

SeptemberBride'08

Under.the.Rose:

SeptemberBride'08:

My own personal belief that pregnancy and labor have become so "routine" that many women don't actually invest a lot of time into finding out what it's all about. They rely on stories which typically aren't always the "easy birth" stories and that skews them one way or the other.

I asked my friends about their birth experience and I was completely shocked how only ONE of my 10 friends in the last two years educated herself on pain coping and learning what would be offered etc. Most of my friends just went in when they felt a  contraction, took all the drugs offered and were "so glad" they were in a hospital because they needed a c/s after pitocin. 

Laboring doesn't seem to be the thing were women are prepared for anymore. I think there is so much fear in laboring that it's easier to majority of women to listen to the stories that make them feel safe choosing to deliver at a hospital, take the offered methods of helping labor and that's it. There are only a few women that really want to know their true options and try to become as much as an advocate for themselves and their labor as possible, bring in a m/w or doula to help in that aspect of advocating in the event they can't during labor. Sure people love to say that they are an advocate and that they did their homework etc, but in reality people love to say things that they didn't always full do to make themselves feel better with their decisions. 

Bottom line, to each their own. If majority of women do their "research" based on stories and decide that a hospital birth, medicated or unmediated is best for them awesome. When it comes to laboring it's next to impossible to change someone's mind or show them another side once they have found their comfort zone.

That's a whole lot of generalizations and assumptions about women in general in that post right there.

I understand how it's hard to wrap your head around the idea that there are women out there who aren't into serious reseach on the subject and have no reason to mistrust their doctors, but there are and that's fine. I'm a researcher too, I prefer to make educated choices when it comes to anything from picking a stroller or childbirth... but not everyone is wired that way and it's not a bad thing. 

We all feel strongly about our choices and some of us came to different conclusions. Some people put lots of weight in statistics and research, others in personal experience and precaution. When it comes right down to it we're all doing our best to make the right decisions for us and our babies. 

A woman who had a natural birth is no better than a woman who ended up with a c-section for whatever reason. Educating yourself can only do so much. You're not truly in control of how your birth will play out whether there are doctors present or midwives, in a hospital or at home,.... Period.

You must have missed the first sentence, "my own personal belief". Also using direct quote from you about using "others in personal experience" which I was using in my own opinion in my comments. These are the stories I know personally which has helped me want to become more educated after first hand seeing woman after woman go into labor as if they were going to a routine doctor or dentist appointment.

I actually don't find it hard to wrap my head around people who don't research things. Most women don't even know how the bcp actually works and affects their bodies or even how their cycles work. So no...it's not shock to me that many women go into labor with next to no information. I find it sad and wish more people were educated but it is what it is and it's their choice and in no way do I fault them for whatever their comfort zone is.

I also did not insinuate that one method of birthing was better than the other. I'm not out to change other people's mind on what they want to do with their bodies. That is a battle that will never be won and personally I really don't care what other people do. Maybe that sounds mean but I'm not going to get bent out of shape over how someone else chooses to live.

Nothing ever goes according to plan. Doesn't matter if we are talking about labor or life. Period.

tokenhoser

I actually think asking yourself how you would feel if your baby died is valid. I've asked myself that question about cosleeping (which we still do). You shouldn't do something that you can't live with in the worst case scenario. That doesn't mean the alternative choice would have saved the baby. It means you need to be that comfortable and confident in the choice you make. You need to take every available caution to keep your baby safe in the choices you make. That doesn't mean every person should do the exact same thing.

flyer23

Hmmm. One of the "I would have died at home" posters revealed (on page 2) that she had an induced labor. With symptoms of uterine hyperstimulation, to boot.

1) Induced labor is a known risk factor for postpartum hemorrhage (which she experienced)

2) She would not have been induced at home. Assuming her induction was necessary, she would have transferred to... a hospital.

It's not that she was lucky to be in a hospital because she hemorrhaged. She likely hemorrhaged because she was in a hospital.

I think people have trouble wrapping their brains around the fact that contrary to the name, homebirth is not just about the birth. It's a completely different approach to pregnancy, labor, and finally, birth. It's not like you do everything exactly the same except you stay at home for the last little bit. And so complications that happen during hospital birth are much less likely to happen in homebirth, because the risk factors or interventions causing those complications either wouldn't happen at home (e.g. inductions, epidurals) or would result in a hospital transfer long before it became an emergency (e.g. pre-e, placenta previa)