If you have another child

weddedwife

What do you say when people ask how many children you have? When we are out & about people often ask if DD is my only. I don't know what I'm going to say now. I feel like if I say she's our only, I'll be disregarding my son's existence. Yet I don't think people can deal with me saying "one living". What do you do?

sandykins

I say 1.

magdalina.h

I say 2. Some people ask for more details and they get to hear that my first born passed away after 8 days and others just leave it at 2

johnnys june

I don't have my second child in my arms yet...but I plan on saying 2.  I'm in a place right now where I can be honest without a huge knife going through my heart.  The ache is always there and I think not enough people are sensitive to the reality of how many baby loss moms there are.  

I already get asked "how many kids do you have" because everyone assumes I have children.  I say 1 and when they ask more questions, I tell them (briefly) his story.  I've found it has a sense of freedom to it. 

dandywarhol

I don't have any living children yet, but when I do I plan to include Sylvie in the count.  Sylvie's birth made me a mother and I want to acknowledge that.  I also agree that there doesn't seem to be a lot of discussion in the real world about infant loss, I would like to help break down some of those walls. 

Cercamom2011

I say we lost my daughter in May, and she was our first.  I'm not asking for sympathy, but I'm also terribly uncomfortable saying this pregnancy will be my first child.  I'm not trying to make someone uncomfortable, but if they ask the question, they should be prepared for any number of answers (including ones that they don't like).  I flat out told one lady that asked, "I'm sorry, it's just a really difficult question for me to answer without being completely honest".