Doctors are letting me choose C-section or not....what to do

Kristin83

Hi ladies,

Sorry if this will be a duplicate post for some of you, I posted this on the C-section board as well.  I have rare conditions called vulvodynia & vaginismus.  For those of you who don't know what these are, in an eggshell the vulvodynia is a nerve disorder in the vaginal region causing 24/7 pain, stinging, itching, etc.  The vaginismus is considered a psycological condition that manifests itself physically causing the vagina to clamp shut at any type of penetration.  I was "lucky" enough to get both of them.  (My baby was not conceived the natural way, in case you're wondering.)

I'm working with really great specialists for this, and my OB's office has told me I can decide how I want to give birth, but they are strongly recommending the C-section.  I trust them and truly believe they have my best interest at heart.  2 reasons:  a vaginal delivery could make the nerve pain worse in the long run and I could be even more miserable forever.  Also, they want to check your cervix multiple times during labor and any type of internal exam is excruciating for me.  So they believe a C-section will be less physically & mentally traumatizing in MY case.  Me and my husband are leaning towards agreeing with them, but part of me feels like a nut for choosing to have a major, risky surgery with harder recovery and I feel like a bit of a failure for not even attempting to go vaginal.  (These disorders are really hard on me emotionally.)

I know 99% of you ladies on here probably don't have any experience with these disorders....but from what I've told you....what would you do if you were me?  I have time to decide - I'm only 17 weeks - but it's been weighing on my heart & mind.

snoangel79

That sounds terrible to deal with! I'd have a c-section no questions. I am having one. I've seen a ton of c-sections because I work on L&D and I'm not scared in the least (have been through a ton of other surgeries in my life though). I'm more scared of a vaginal birth to be honest. I'm having twins so pretty much good chance that I would need one anyways. I would rather not try vaginal either as with my luck the first twin would come out then the other would turn and I'd need an emergency c-section. Plus the second twin won't have the stress of the vaginal birth. I also have prior health issues that would make it hard for me to go through a strenuous labor. So all and all, c-section for me would be best. 

Don't ever feel like a failure!!  

okate0213

I've heard of this condition, though working in maternity I have not run across a patient who has this condition. I personally have had a c-section that was not planned and it was not bad in general. Like you mentioned it is major surgery. I'm sure if you choose a vaginal birth they can not check you as often, but only as needed. If it makes your condition worse in the end, I would personally schedule a c-section. Have you been able to do any research of women who have gone through this, is there a support group online? Gl in your decision! ((hugs))

HannahO28

If I were you, I would have the C-section. I wouldn't risk making it irreversibly worse. C-Sections are performed every day, and if your doctor thinks it's best for you, then I'm sure that's the case. I wouldn't worry about the safety issue.
And you are certainly NOT a failure. Plenty of women have C-Sections every day. It's not a failure because it produces healthy infants. That's the only goal here.

biblionerd

I would definitely chose a c-section if I were you. 

crystalmeyer08

I am SO sorry that you have these conditions!    I would have the c-section...you already know how painful it is to have anything penetrate your vagina...and for almost ALL women, vaginal birth is painful (during and in recovery after birth) so I would imagine for you it would be much worse.  I would do the c-section...

jesbeth

I just did a little reading of my own to better understand the disorders. You learn something new everyday, I had no idea either existed.

If I were in your position, I would have the C-Section, if only not to make either condition worse. You will not be a failure if you cannot give birth vaginally. Each of our bodies have their limitations. There are many things that can happen, either during pregnancy or during delivery that can cause any woman to be unable to do so, and in the end all that truly matters is a healthy baby and a healthy mother.

You didn't mention if there is a possibility of putting your baby in danger, but reading this "causing the vagina to clamp shut at any type of penetration" makes me wonder if that might happen during either the cervical checks or while you are pushing.

bbflynyc

I think you know your body best and either option you choose will be the best one for you and your baby.  There's probably no one right answer but you should be proud of yourself for thinking of everything and then trust yourself to do what's best.

Moneypenny424

Honestly, I'd have the c-section and wouldn't think twice about it.  This isn't a situation where you're "too posh to push" or something, you have a medical condition that would be worsened by a vaginal delivery.  Don't feel like a failure at all!

blackbird01

I would definitely go with a C-section. Having been through a vaginal delivery myself, I can't even imagine how much pain you would be in after the birth if you tore and needed stitches, which many women do. Things were uncomfortable for me for weeks after my DS was born, and it would be so much worse for you. You didn't ask to have these conditions, so don't feel bad about having a C-section. It's better to go with the decision that is least likely to make your conditions worse so you can focus more on your child.

llizzyb

You're getting a PM!

FusionLMT

absolutely a c-section. So sorry you have these conditions

ADub09

a friend of my suffers with this and although they were able to conceive naturally (under anesthetic) she did opt of the c-section and I think I would too.  best of luck to you!

kkfeb04

I had an elective* c/s with DS and honestly I was off the heavy duty pain meds before going home and I was off the advil 2 days later.  I was able to do stairs and I was driving by 2 weeks pp.  I went in knowing that I would more than likely end up with a c/s and was fully prepared for it. 

*I say elective because I was given the option the day I was admitted to the hospital at 39w.  It was either an induction or c/s.  They did one last u/s and the midwife said to me, honestly, I would go with the c/s.  Her reasons were I was not dilated, not effaced, not having any contractions and due to his size I could end up in a c/s 36 hours later.  I have no regrets, he ended up being 10 lbs, 22" with 15" head. 

NayNaysPlayPen

This is a lot for you to go through, so first of all I am sorry you were unlucky enough to have these disorders. I think that if I were in your shoes...from the little information I know from your post, I would opt for a c-section. There are always risks, yes...but it is a relatively safe procedure and seems the safest and best route for the future. I dont think you should feel any guilt if you do happen to choose this path. Its your body and your call, and you have to feel safe and comfortable.

katieh1017

I agree with the PP's and would do the c-section given the circumstances. I actually have a chronic bladder disease and get pelvic pain from exams, eating certain foods, for no reason at all and sometimes sex. So I totally understand not wanting to go into a flare or make something worse when it could be avoided. I talked to my urologist about my condition and delivering vaginally and he said it could cause unnecessary pain, so I should be considering a c-section too. I know its not the same as you, but I understand that the area is already sensitive and a vaginal delivery may not be best in the end.

craftymom3

I am so sorry that you have to deal with these conditions.  I think that you need to do what would be best for your over all health.  plus if delivering naturally would make your recovery more difficult then I think you should have a C-section.  You want to be able to focus on that sweet little bundle of joy you will have.  Praying for you that you are able to make a decision that brings you peace about the situation and brings your little peanut here is the best and safest way for the both of you!