Doctors are having me choose whether to have one....don't know what to do

Kristin83

Hi ladies,

Sorry if this will be a duplicate post for some of you, I may post it on my month board as well.  I have rare conditions called vulvodynia & vaginismus.  For those of you who don't know what these are, in an eggshell the vulvodynia is a nerve disorder in the vaginal region causing 24/7 pain, stinging, itching, etc.  The vaginismus is considered a psycological condition that manifests itself physically causing the vagina to clamp shut at any type of penetration.  I was "lucky" enough to get both of them.  (My baby was not conceived the natural way, in case you're wondering.)

I'm working with really great specialists for this, and my OB's office has told me I can decide how I want to give birth, but they are strongly recommending the C-section.  I trust them and truly believe they have my best interest at heart.  2 reasons:  a vaginal delivery could make the nerve pain worse in the long run and I could be even more miserable forever.  Also, they want to check your cervix multiple times during labor and any type of internal exam is excruciating for me.  So they believe a C-section will be less physically & mentally traumatizing in MY case.  Me and my husband are leaning towards agreeing with them, but part of me feels like a nut for choosing to have a major, risky surgery with harder recovery and I feel like a bit of a failure for not even attempting to go vaginal.  (These disorders are really hard on me emotionally.)

I know 99% of you ladies on here probably don't have any experience with these disorders....but from what I've told you....what would you do if you were me?  I have time to decide - I'm only 17 weeks - but it's been weighing on my heart & mind.

Kissimi21

Why would you feel like a failure for "not even attempting to go vaginal"?  You have a legitimate medical reason and IMO you'd be crazy to try a vaginal birth knowing 1) it can worsen your condition, 2) you will feel pain most women can't imagine, 3) you might not be able to push out your baby without risking his/her health (vaginimus).  A c-section is not a failure. It is a medical procedure that is sometimes necessary for the health of the mother and/or child.  In your case, it sounds like the safest, smatest option.

magdalina.h

Kissimi21:

Why would you feel like a failure for "not even attempting to go vaginal"?  You have a legitimate medical reason and IMO you'd be crazy to try a vaginal birth knowing 1) it can worsen your condition, 2) you will feel pain most women can't imagine, 3) you might not be able to push out your baby without risking his/her health (vaginimus).  A c-section is not a failure. It is a medical procedure that is sometimes necessary for the health of the mother and/or child.  In your case, it sounds like the safest, smartest option.

 I agree

solnyshko79

magdalina.h:

Kissimi21:

Why would you feel like a failure for "not even attempting to go vaginal"?  You have a legitimate medical reason and IMO you'd be crazy to try a vaginal birth knowing 1) it can worsen your condition, 2) you will feel pain most women can't imagine, 3) you might not be able to push out your baby without risking his/her health (vaginimus).  A c-section is not a failure. It is a medical procedure that is sometimes necessary for the health of the mother and/or child.  In your case, it sounds like the safest, smartest option.

 I agree

 

i also agree. Some people were pushing a lot of guilt on me for deciding to have a c section ( i also have medical reasons). People are stupid and pass judgement too fast. Do what is best for you and your baby!

ababymaybe

I think you have a legit reason-- if your condition worsens then that will impact your quality of life long term. It doesn't sound like you are taking it lightly either so I would do what you think is best and not worry about what other people say. 

 

lewis514

I would do a c/s but I'm doing a repeat c/s.

I am having a repeat c/s bc my first L&D experience was very traumatic and emotionally I don't think I could do it again.

I think it's more important to have a positive experience no matter how the birth actually takes place.

BabyBLove

I absolutely agree too!

iris427

I'm sorry you are dealing with that.  I have interstitial cystitis and I've had to do pelvic floor physical therapy for vaginismus, so I can relate to how much it sucks.

I had a c/s with my first for unrelated reasons, and this is something I had to consider when deciding how to deliver my second child. The vaginal exams during my first labor were very painful for me and that was one of the reasons I got an epidural--getting my cervix checked didn't hurt at all with the epidural.  If you do decide to try for a vaginal birth, I would recommend considering an epidural and having your doctor do as few vaginal exams as possible.

FWIW, I did have a vaginal delivery with my second and I think it has helped with my pelvic floor issues, because it helped things loosen up.  But I definitely understand your concern about things getting worse because I had that fear too. 

I think you really have to do what you feel most comfortable with.   You know your body best and you should absolutely not feel bad about choosing a c/s.

flutepharm87

I may not know anyone who has these conditions, but I've heard a lot about them and I would not hesitate to say for you to go with a c-section. Yes, the recovery was hard and it is major surgery, but you have a clear indication that this would probably be best for your health. I would hate for something so wonderful (becoming a mother) to be the reason why you're extra miserable for the rest of your life.

Even though many of the women on this board regret not having the vaginal birth experience, most of those women (including myself) have no reason to think that a vaginal birth was an impossibility for them. If I were in your situation, I would have no reservations opted for a c-section. GL!

RoxBride

Oh my goodness, I would have a c/s. You don't need to mess with a difficult medical condition and put yourself at risk for any more misery. why go through that? Why risk your nerves?

It isn't major risky surgery so much. In the long run, it is major surgery, but very predictable, very safe, and sounds like it will be far easier for you to recovery from than a vaginal birth.

Do not feel guilty one bit.

katmacwv

My OB told me from my initial appt with him that if I had a baby larger than 7 1/2 lbs that I wouldn't be able to have a vaginal delivery (due to something in my pelvis being narrow).  When they estimated DD's weight at 8 lbs, 9 oz, I told the OB that I didn't want to try labor and would opt for a c-section.  When she was born weighing in at 8 lbs, 12 oz, I was glad I chose a c-section.  While I was a little sore afterward, I only took Ibuprofen except when I was having the staples taken out and 1 day when I overdid it too quickly after my c-section.  I did sleep with a pillow over my incision for a while because I was afraid my sweet little dog would jump on me in my sleep and nail the incision, but that was one of the only precautions I had to take.

If you have a medical reason that makes a c-section safer for you and/or the baby, you shouldn't have any regrets if you choose a c-section.  If you have additional nerve damage due to a vaginal delivery, you may have more difficulty trying to care for your new baby and then caring for a toddler later on.  Good luck with your decision, but try not to let guilt play a part in it.

mlg79

Kissimi21:

Why would you feel like a failure for "not even attempting to go vaginal"?  You have a legitimate medical reason and IMO you'd be crazy to try a vaginal birth knowing 1) it can worsen your condition, 2) you will feel pain most women can't imagine, 3) you might not be able to push out your baby without risking his/her health (vaginimus).  A c-section is not a failure. It is a medical procedure that is sometimes necessary for the health of the mother and/or child.  In your case, it sounds like the safest, smatest option.

 

I completely agree.

mlg79

Kissimi21:

Why would you feel like a failure for "not even attempting to go vaginal"?  You have a legitimate medical reason and IMO you'd be crazy to try a vaginal birth knowing 1) it can worsen your condition, 2) you will feel pain most women can't imagine, 3) you might not be able to push out your baby without risking his/her health (vaginimus).  A c-section is not a failure. It is a medical procedure that is sometimes necessary for the health of the mother and/or child.  In your case, it sounds like the safest, smatest option.

 

I completely agree.

mlg79

Kissimi21:

Why would you feel like a failure for "not even attempting to go vaginal"?  You have a legitimate medical reason and IMO you'd be crazy to try a vaginal birth knowing 1) it can worsen your condition, 2) you will feel pain most women can't imagine, 3) you might not be able to push out your baby without risking his/her health (vaginimus).  A c-section is not a failure. It is a medical procedure that is sometimes necessary for the health of the mother and/or child.  In your case, it sounds like the safest, smatest option.

 

I completely agree.