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Parenting after a Loss
Vent (FB pg announcement)
This is going to be a p&r because I have a nap to get to, but I just have to vent real quick. A friend of mine just announced of fb that she's pg. I've known for a couple of weeks so it wasn't new news, but what gets me is that she's 9 weeks! NINE! I was right where she is now when I had my first m/c. I want to yell at her but I know that wouldn't do any good. Even when I was pg the first time I knew better than to tell a lot of people before the end of first tri. Ug! I'm just so frustrated (I also think the *** storm of pg announcements that I've seen on fb lately have gotten to me, so this didn't help... and we're not even TTC).
I feel a little better now, thanks for listening, have some cookies and a drink from me.
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Re: Vent (FB pg announcement)
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cb8c4.aspx[/img][/url]
As always, I don't see what the big deal is about announcing early. I announced early with both of mine as soon as I found out. Frankly I don't understand why any of us are against it, when we all supposedly want to take the stigma away from miscarriage/pregnancy loss. So we want people to know it happens but we don't want to talk about it?
This wasn't meant to become a vent/rant but this kind of attitude toward early announcement really irks me.
For me, I think I don't like seeing early announcements on fb because even though I'm open about my loss-when I was going through it I did not need every random on fb to know I was in that kind of pain. I don't know if that makes sense? I guess I just liked it being private. But then again I didn't "announce" on fb until I was 30+ weeks pg.
And I also think that people who announce early are generally naive about the risk of loss-and then I admit I tend to judge them. But when its someone who I know has had a loss I don't judge, so I'm kind of a two faced b!tch.
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cb8c4.aspx[/img][/url]
As I'm reading this-did I miss something Mags? Or do you mean in the future?
Get out of my head I was thinking the same thing!
I am the same way. I am a total blabbermouth. Not telling doesn't mean you won't miscarry and telling doesn't mean you will. You can't jinx it. And I had a lot of support after my loss. If we do it again I'd tell early again. It's just the way I roll.
I think it would be harder to deal with a loss alone than with the support of my friends and families. I announced my loss at 4-5 weeks, we lost the baby at 11 weeks. We announced the twins at 7 weeks, but I just couldn't hold in the news and I knew that if I lost 1 or both of them that I would need my friends and family to help me through it, and they couldn't if they didn't know I was pregnant.
That being said, thinking you're in the clear at 9 weeks is definitely a naive thought. We saw the hb of our first at 7 weeks, baby stopped developing at 8 weeks, found out it was a missed m/c at 11 weeks. She definitely needs some schooling IMO.