I refuse to refer to this as IVF #1 because that means there could be a #2 or more.

HappyIAm

Am I crazy?!?  I just can't even fathom this not working.  It's too much for me.  How will I ever stay sane until January when stims begins?!?

Robeano

I hope you don't go too crazy over the next while

GL!

TJ1979

I think a positive attitude is really important when dealing with all this.  GL.

Mitzi Bishi

While I think being positive is one thing, I'd also not go the "can't fathom it not working" route... it's one steep tumble.

I've done it.  

I'm really not trying to be a downer, but just be aware of the statistics. Many of us thought we'd be on our way and yet these IF boards are always busy and crawling with new joiners. 

Hopefully you're right though and you'll be able to move on without evening hitting bronze status. 

Good Luck!  

doggie mama

That's a good way to look at it, I mean not assuming that it will require multiple tries. Of course, you also don't want to assume it won't. I guess it's a balance between staying positive, but not getting your hopes up. That's what MH tells me, but I'm not sure i always understand the difference. I'm personally very scared of how I'll handle it if this IVF doesn't work. I'm not sure there's a good way to protect myself while keeping a positive attitude. Best of luck to you!

TJ1979

Mitzi Bishi:

While I think being positive is one thing, I'd also not go the "can't fathom it not working" route... it's one steep tumble.

I've done it.  

I'm really not trying to be a downer, but just be aware of the statistics. Many of us thought we'd be on our way and yet these IF boards are always busy and crawling with new joiners. 

Hopefully you're right though and you'll be able to move on without evening hitting bronze status. 

Good Luck!  

I know, it's such a fine line between optimistic and unrealistic.  You have to think positive, but you also have to prepare yourself for the negative.  It's so hard.

tst1998

Mitzi Bishi:

While I think being positive is one thing, I'd also not go the "can't fathom it not working" route... it's one steep tumble.

I've done it.  

I'm really not trying to be a downer, but just be aware of the statistics. Many of us thought we'd be on our way and yet these IF boards are always busy and crawling with new joiners. 

Hopefully you're right though and you'll be able to move on without evening hitting bronze status. 

Good Luck!  

I completely agree with Mitzi. I went into IVF #1 with the idea that it had to work. I couldn't deal with the possibility of it not working, so I didn't allow myself to think about what the next step would be if it didn't work. It didn't work and I was devastated and completely lost. DH and I were on completely different pages as to what to do next, because we had refused to talk about the possibility of it not working. It was a rough couple weeks. 

I'm still optimistic about our FET this month, but I recognize that the odds are it won't work (only 30-50% of FETs are successful). But this time I know what we will do if it doesn't work. I think I will be much better able to deal with failure if it comes to that. I will be sad, of course, but I don't think the shock will be quite what it was last time. All that being said, I do hope this is the only IVF cycle you have to do. And thinking positively is never a bad thing! Good luck. 

Mitzi Bishi

jalara48:

I can't help but think that our IVF cycle isn't going to work. I'm not sure why but it just doesn't feel too hopeful.

It's at least enough hope to try it! That's starting somewhere. 

I think during this whole process it becomes easy to resign to the fact that it hasn't happened for so long, so why now?

Then you get a glimmer or hope that ART can solve problems.

You do a cycle and the doctors rave about being "young" and having "great quality" and so it's even more difficult if it doesn't work. 

Do what you can, be healthy, but largely know it's out of your hands.

kelnyc

I couldn't agree more! I see that a lot, and I'm just not ready to go there. I'm not naive enough to think that it 100% WILL work, but I sure as hell hope it does! If there is a #2, I'll cross that bridge when I get there, but calling it IVF #1 is almost like admitting defeat from the outset. Not this girl.

hootie123

tst1998:

Mitzi Bishi:

While I think being positive is one thing, I'd also not go the "can't fathom it not working" route... it's one steep tumble.

I've done it.  

I'm really not trying to be a downer, but just be aware of the statistics. Many of us thought we'd be on our way and yet these IF boards are always busy and crawling with new joiners. 

Hopefully you're right though and you'll be able to move on without evening hitting bronze status. 

Good Luck!  

I completely agree with Mitzi. I went into IVF #1 with the idea that it had to work. I couldn't deal with the possibility of it not working, so I didn't allow myself to think about what the next step would be if it didn't work. It didn't work and I was devastated and completely lost. DH and I were on completely different pages as to what to do next, because we had refused to talk about the possibility of it not working. It was a rough couple weeks. 

I'm still optimistic about our FET this month, but I recognize that the odds are it won't work (only 30-50% of FETs are successful). But this time I know what we will do if it doesn't work. I think I will be much better able to deal with failure if it comes to that. I will be sad, of course, but I don't think the shock will be quite what it was last time. All that being said, I do hope this is the only IVF cycle you have to do. And thinking positively is never a bad thing! Good luck. 

I just have to add - EVERYONE wants their first IVF to work or else they wouldn't do it at all.   You have to prepare yourself for the possibility of it not working as well as the possibility of it working.  Good luck!  

Mrs.McIrish

Mitzi Bishi:

While I think being positive is one thing, I'd also not go the "can't fathom it not working" route... it's one steep tumble.

I've done it.  

I'm really not trying to be a downer, but just be aware of the statistics. Many of us thought we'd be on our way and yet these IF boards are always busy and crawling with new joiners. 

Hopefully you're right though and you'll be able to move on without evening hitting bronze status. 

Good Luck!  

This.

annalisel

I'm well aware the odds are against us, but I'm with you on not calling it IVF #1. It seems self-defeating.