Is it deceptive not to tell my job?

tashaobrien

Coming out of lurking... and need advice. 

With my last pregnancy, I waited until 13 weeks to tell my manager. A week later, I miscarried. I started a new job this week (that I didn't expect to get) and I'm torn on when to tell them. My RE recommended I get a cerclage this time around (between 12 and 14 weeks). This should be around Christmas. Should I wait until then to tell them? Tell them before? Or should I wait until I begin to show? (I'm a bit on the chubby side so that should buy me a few extra weeks).

Advice?

TIA!!!

kristin172429

Is there any probationary period for new hires?  I would at least wait for that if you have one.  When you tell your job is when you are comfortable.  Legally, they cannot take any action against you for being pregnant or telling them you are pregnant.  I waited until almost 22 weeks to notify my work.  

kthappy76

I am so sorry for your loss, but congrats on your pregnancy. You are under no obligation to tell your employer at the end of first tri (when many decide to announce). Depending on when you started, you may/not qualify for FMLA job protection, but this asks that you notify your employer of your need/intent to be out 30 days before you go out. Otherwise, you can wait as long as you want. Though you'll have to come up with reasons for any absences and eventually you'll start to show. GL!

lisac1017

It is not at all deceptive.  You can wait til 7 months if you want to!  The important thing is that you tell them when you are ready and not a moment before.  Trust me, as much as you think people "know," they don't.  They're caught up in their own stuff.  I shared an office with 3 others that knew me pretty well and never caught on to the fact I was no longer wearing fitted or tucked in shirts (I'm thin and couldn't button my pants by 10 weeks).  I told my direct managers around 13 weeks only because I wanted to ensure they heard it from me first, then told those that I shared the office with around 15 weeks and they were clueless (except one said I'd been a little bitchy lately, but he would have been too if he had the kind of gas pains I was experiencing at that point!)

So bottom line - it is up to when you feel comfortable and it is not deceptive and they are going to be happy for you regardless of when you share the good news. 

Good luck!

Lisa

MotherMonster

The only reason you would really need to tell your job is if there was a likely chance that something would happen while you're at work. That's the only reason to not wait until you truly want to announce it to them. I'm diabetic, so as soon as I found out I was pregnant I told all my bosses and my charge nurses as well as my teachers. I have had lows so bad I was hospitalized (weird part is one of my instructors actually was my nurse in the hospital so they have extra background on me and know how I handle stuff so it's nice!)

I got my current job right before I found out...and let me tell you, my nurses at work keep a close eye on me ever since I told them and they know my doctors and how their do things so I don't even need to bring in doctors notes (I had to go home one day because of low blood sugar so they have talked to them before.)