People Who Never Had To Deal With IF

dawnmarie1279

are ridiculous!! I moved over to the July 2012 moms and I seriously hate when people ask what gender you prefer. I have always hated that question because any baby is a miracle and a blessing and especially having IF..I take what I can.

I responded to the thread saying I really hate when people ask this and why (what I went through)...

Someone actually had the nerve to write:

"So because that was your experience the rest of us aren't able to talk about this topic.Got it!"

WTF?

I like this board much better!

dimples128

I don't think you said anything to make her think it wasn't a topic they could discuss.  Some people who have never gone through IF don't think the way we do.  I feel the same way you do in that I just want a healthy baby. 

kelnyc

There are way too many asshats in the world. End of story.

jackiejoey

stay with us:)

limpetfan

I read what you wrote.  I don't get why that person had the reaction she did -- you didn't say anything offensive, nor did you suggest the post was something they shouldn't be discussing.  Some people just have chips on their shoulders and are looking for a fight.  

 

khrissy91

dawnmarie1279:

are ridiculous!! I moved over to the July 2012 moms and I seriously hate when people ask what gender you prefer. I have always hated that question because any baby is a miracle and a blessing and especially having IF..I take what I can.

I responded to the thread saying I really hate when people ask this and why (what I went through)...

Someone actually had the nerve to write:

"So because that was your experience the rest of us aren't able to talk about this topic.Got it!"

WTF?

I like this board much better!

 

I told her she's an ass hat.. I hate people like that, I pray they never have to step in my shoes with 2 miscarriages.. They are blessed just with being pregnant and the ones on that board who are whining they can't drink can suck it too..

mnnofziger

I agree any baby is a miracle and a blessing! Sorry you had to deal with the negativity.

eponine7682

Yeah, I read the thread and you said nothing wrong. I think that lady is being defensive because she probably secretly really wants one gender over another and feels guilty about it. People are just crazy.

honeygirl500

jackiejoey:

stay with us:)

This!  Besides I am going to miss your quotes if you leave.

racheyt0227

I'm not saying she had the best response to you..but..I may be alone here, but I have always wanted a certain gender & still do. Obv any baby will be a blessing, but I have always wanted a certain gender since I was little. I really don't see anything wrong with it.

D&J1202

I hate that question also. I am beginning to feel some sort of way about people who complain about their kids repeatedly too and say things like "I would have had more fun if my kids weren't there". It's a co-worker of mine and she knows my struggles one day I am going to flip and remind her how blessed she is with two kids. People don't know what to be thankful for.

brookelynpaisley

racheyt0227:

I'm not saying she had the best response to you..but..I may be alone here, but I have always wanted a certain gender & still do. Obv any baby will be a blessing, but I have always wanted a certain gender since I was little. I really don't see anything wrong with it.

Ditto. IF or not, I'm willing to admit I'd prefer a girl. I've always pictured myself as a mom to a girl, little girl clothes make me mushy. When I think "baby," I think "girl." It is what it is. Yes, I'd love a boy too, but I don't think IF has shut off my day dream of having a daughter and I don't think that makes me a bad person.

emmypants

*head desk* lovely. I'm sorry

Daisies1706

I'm sorry she said that to you (((HUG))). You certainly didn't deserve it. You just offered another viewpoint that she apparently REALLY wanted to remain ignorant about.

dawnmarie1279

Thanks girls!

I am over it now..I had gotten another semi negative comment from a friend of mine when I told her the news. I just can't  believe some people (the one's who know what you went through) and how they dont filter themselves before speaking.

I know that I am very early on, I know I can miscarry, I dont need it being told to me every day. Let me be happy, I made it this far!!!!

khrissy91

jalara48:

No kidding! I'm so sorry people are ruining this for you.

I totally agree with what you wrote on that thread..

 

keliser

kelnyc:

There are way too many asshats in the world. End of story.

 

I hope it gets better over there.

mrsharris15

I feel. The. Exact. Same. Way. I miss it over here, I'm having trouble relating to the July mamas!

Blsd4given

brookelynpaisley:

racheyt0227:

I'm not saying she had the best response to you..but..I may be alone here, but I have always wanted a certain gender & still do. Obv any baby will be a blessing, but I have always wanted a certain gender since I was little. I really don't see anything wrong with it.

Ditto. IF or not, I'm willing to admit I'd prefer a girl. I've always pictured myself as a mom to a girl, little girl clothes make me mushy. When I think "baby," I think "girl." It is what it is. Yes, I'd love a boy too, but I don't think IF has shut off my day dream of having a daughter and I don't think that makes me a bad person.

 

Agreed... except, I'd prefer a boy.    No matter what gender I am ultimately blessed with, I will love the child with everything I have.  But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I still have the slightest bit of "I want a boy" in me. 

Blackvelvet

Blsd4given:

brookelynpaisley:

racheyt0227:

I'm not saying she had the best response to you..but..I may be alone here, but I have always wanted a certain gender & still do. Obv any baby will be a blessing, but I have always wanted a certain gender since I was little. I really don't see anything wrong with it.

Ditto. IF or not, I'm willing to admit I'd prefer a girl. I've always pictured myself as a mom to a girl, little girl clothes make me mushy. When I think "baby," I think "girl." It is what it is. Yes, I'd love a boy too, but I don't think IF has shut off my day dream of having a daughter and I don't think that makes me a bad person.

 

Agreed... except, I'd prefer a boy.    No matter what gender I am ultimately blessed with, I will love the child with everything I have.  But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I still have the slightest bit of "I want a boy" in me. 

I want another baby more then anything but I would be over the top if it was a girl.  I know babys are blessings but it's not like those girls are going to have an abortion just becasue it's not what sex they want.

kaleidoskpeyez

Some people suck. They asked for an opinion... you gave a legitimate one. I'm sorry that certain individuals chose to be so rude about it. It's not like you said, "Gender doesn't matter, and anyone who thinks it does will be a terrible mother! Mwah ha ha haa!!"

And, FWIW, I'm with you dawn. Just a baby will do... any baby... please? Please?!

Bethany1026

kelnyc:

There are way too many asshats in the world. End of story.

Definite over-breeding of asshats.  Some people are just ignorant...

kellyrn9956

Just another reason why IF sucks.

People who haven't been through it don't get it. But in the same respect, I have no idea how to relate to someone who gets pregnant easily either. So whenever someone says something that I think is insensitive, I don't get mad at the person...I get mad at my infertility.

She may think that it is incredibly insensitive of you to "bring down" the happy thread with your comment. I'm not saying that's what you did or mean to do - I am saying that that might be why she was so defensive. I don't think that, away from the IF boards, that we can expect much sympathy from those who haven't been through IF. It's not their fault - they just don't understand.

 

gilmoregirl105

kelnyc:

There are way too many asshats in the world. End of story.

True story.  

ELF4321

We had some of the same kinds of things come up on the May board early on -- those who had dealt with IF and/or prior miscarriage not really being understood by those who never have, and vice versa.  As we've all gotten further along and started having more similar experiences with the pregnancy, it's settled down.  You also learn who you fit in with better on the board and who to avoid.  There are definitely some I just ignore on my BMB, and I'm sure some who don't like me much either (what, me?  how could anyone not LOVE me?  LOL!). 

farmerlynda

Blsd4given:

brookelynpaisley:

racheyt0227:

I'm not saying she had the best response to you..but..I may be alone here, but I have always wanted a certain gender & still do. Obv any baby will be a blessing, but I have always wanted a certain gender since I was little. I really don't see anything wrong with it.

Ditto. IF or not, I'm willing to admit I'd prefer a girl. I've always pictured myself as a mom to a girl, little girl clothes make me mushy. When I think "baby," I think "girl." It is what it is. Yes, I'd love a boy too, but I don't think IF has shut off my day dream of having a daughter and I don't think that makes me a bad person.

 

Agreed... except, I'd prefer a boy.    No matter what gender I am ultimately blessed with, I will love the child with everything I have.  But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I still have the slightest bit of "I want a boy" in me. 

I'm with BP.  I will be 100% thrilled to just be pregnant with a baby, any healthy baby.  But if I could snap my fingers and make the world exactly the way I wanted it, I'd have a girl.  It's not that I would love any child less or more because of his/her gender -- I would just love to be a mommy to a girl, partly since I was an oldest daughter.

And little girl clothes totally make me mushy.  

jbeck78

Like Elf said, it does get better as you get further along. The hardest part from leaving here was all the "omg the first month" not that I am not happy for them, but seriously! Those get old!

Congrats!