Ending Therapy -- Any norms?

sassy_mommy

I ended therapy back in August and always wondered if I should have sent a thank you note to the therapist or if things were just supposed to end at the "thank you" speech I said on my way out.  Just wondering if there are any norms when therapy has ended.  I'm so grateful and have been thinking about sending a card during this Thanksgiving season, but don't want to be weird either.

P.S.  Just want to encourage the ladies here on this board.  I still deal with things, but it REALLY CAN get better.  Be encouraged and don't hesitate to get the help you need.

MelissaMiso

Let me preface this by telling you I am a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) in NY. The one thing you don't want to do when ending treatment is to just stop coming or scheduling appointments. Therapists are people and, especially when working with someone a long time, we will truly worry about what happened to the client who just "falls off the planet." So even if the ending of treatment is because a person hates the therapist, it's always best to be considerate and let the therapist know why you are leaving and when your last session will be. It's even a good idea to start discussing termination of treatment a few sessions before you want to stop so the process can end pleasantly and the possibility of returning at some point is discussed if the person needs it down the road. (trust me, former clients will often get priority if a therapist has a waiting list when they want to return.)

That being said, it sounds like your treatment has worked for you and you are ready to move on. It also appears that you had a closing session and thanked the therapist. That is really all you need to do. However, if you are truly appreciative of the work you have done together, a card or note at Thanksgiving is appropriate. It is especially nice for a therapist to learn that a former client is doing well. It only becomes weird if a person is constantly sending letters, which indicates that perhaps the person was not ready to move on from the therapist and is just trying to maintain continued (and free) contact. 

Gift giving of anything of monetary value is definitely not appropriate (and it would be even more inappropriate if a therapist accepted something of significant monetary or other type of value). Non-monetary valued gifts can be tricky. I think it really depends on the client and the situation. A box of cookies during the holidays is a nice gesture but when a client brings something to the therapist every week, there is something else going on (maybe the client feels they need to "buy" the attention of the therapist). In general, therapists do not ethically accept gifts.

I know I touched on more than you were asking, but I just thought I'd share. Glad to see you are doing well.

sassy_mommy

Thank you so much for this information.  You truly helped to give me some insight on this.  I think I will do a thank you card for the Thanksgiving season -- it's something I'm planning to do for those who really made a huge impact on me this year.  Thanks again for your help!