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Austin Babies
babymillie
member
Tell me everything about #2...
babymillie
member
(Not THAT #2...)
When did you get pg with your second LO (how old was #1)?
Why did it suck?
Why was it great?
Would you do the same timing again?
WHAT am I thinking? I swore and swore I wouldn't have another.... After a horrendous pgncy (gest diabetes, bad carpal tunnel, horrific back pain) and an even more horrendous c-sec/postpartum (meds wore off and had to go under, ppd, baby with hip dysplasia, etc. etc. etc.) we've decided to just go for it. Who knows if I can even get pg on my own, but we figured if it takes another 1.5 years, we might as well get started. WHAT AM I THINKING? SOMEONE STOP ME!!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Tell me everything about #2...
YEA Polls!!!
When did you get pg with your second LO (how old was #1)? Jakob was about to turn 6 years old when I got pregnant. He was in kinder
Why did it suck? It sucked because we were finally able to sleep in on weekends. He could get up, get himself some cereal and turn on cartoons while we stayed in bed. Then we go and have a baby.
Why was it great? Having a 6 year old and then a baby is ridiculously easy. I'd send him off to school every morning and just hang out with my baby all day. We had no jealousy issues. He was excited about the baby and understood when I couldn't play with him...get him something to eat...whatever because I was busy with the baby. He was an awesome helper...fetching diapers, holding her bottle so I could pee or drive...
Would you do the same timing again? Absolutely. Obviously, most people aren't going to wait 6 years between kids, especially if you are starting in your late 20s or whatever. But I had Jakob young enough and then waiting to have Layna was the best way to go. I'm so glad I didn't rush to have another before I could handle it, just so they wouldn't be far apart in age. Honestly, I see people having babies and toddlers and I wouldn't handle that well at all. I'm a much better parent because my kids are far apart in age.
thanks! that sounds so nice having a lil helper. Had you forgotten how to change a diaper? (jk)
When did you get pg with your second LO (how old was #1)?
Megan was 11 months old when I got pg with Ryan. We started trying the month before. The are 20 months apart.
Why did it suck?
Morning sickness with a 1 year old was awful. When I got pg I immediatly had this feeling like I was depriving Megan. And then when the m/s hit bad I felt like I was already not able to be with her as much because I was so sick and that was really hard on me. It was also tough when Ryan was born because Megan was not one of those older siblings who loves the baby. She didn't want to hold him, she didn't want me to hold him, she wasn't interested in helping. She would constantly say "Ra Ra swing" or point to the swing when I was holding Ryan. Megan was 20 months old when Ryan was born and I felt like there was all this fun new stuff to do with her but I barely got a chance to do it anymore. And it was just tiring and non-stop. With one kid its easy to get things done since someone can play with the baby/toddler and the other can clean-up, run errands... with two its just harder. It's hard to quantify but there is just exponentially less down time.
Why was it great?
It's amazing, watching your love grow for 2, watching their different personalities, how Megan teaches Ryan stuff. And seeing them laugh and play together now is awesome, awesome, awesome! They are close enough in age that they play with a lot of the same things and they like going to similar places. I'm so happy we are where we are now with a 3.5 and a 2 year old, its lots of fun!
Would you do the same timing again?
I would do it again because I love where we are now and wouldn't change it for the world! But if we were having a 3rd I would have spaced him or her out more though. I'll also say that while we planned to have ours close I really had no idea how hard it would be for us. I guess I knew that 2 close in age was tough but I waaaay underestimated it :-) Also DH's parents live in town and while they helped out a lot with Megan, once we had 2 kids that was no longer the case. Ryan had colic early on and never took a bottle (even though I went back to work at 3 months which meant he nursed all evening/night), and then Megan broke her leg when Ryan was only 5 months old... so it was just a crazy year!! It gave me an appreciation for why spacing kids out more is great too!
aw thanks! I can't imagine how cute it is to see them play.
thanks... the thing that you said about "depriving megan" is exactly why I'm worried -- since I'm such a high maint preg person who can barely take care of herself when pg, I can't imagine having a baby and doing it. How much more do you think you would have spaced out #3, knowing what you know now?
Miscarriages aside... I got PG with Emily just before Abby's 2nd birthday. Emily was born when Abby was 2y 4m old. It was perfect because of Abby's general temperment. She wasn't excessively concerned with the baby and didn't want to play "mommy". But she also was independant enough to do her own thing while I attended to newborn things (pumping) and she also appeared to comprehend the importance of being quiet sometimes.
It sucked because we did put off potty training longer than I had hoped because we didn't want to regress. I didn't really care about changing 2 sets of diapers really, just the overall developmental aspect. But at age 3 when Abby was ready, she was really ready and it was damn near effortless.
I would absolutely recommend "our" spacing. However, with respect to Emily, if Emily was my first, there may not have been a 2nd!!! She's a totally different and more challenging child. She wasn't colicy and I hestitate to call her fussy. She just requires a good deal more energy than I recall Abby needing at this age. I look at her and realize there's no way I would have signed up for another kid just yet if Abby had been like this! So I think it depends on your kiddo.
Hmmm I hadn't really thought about that :-) I guess 2.5 - 3 years. But I have to agree with taytee on your kids personality. Megan has always been very attached to me and wants/needs a lot more of my time. Whereas Ryan has a pretty easy going personality and plays independently really well.
Well, my 2nd isn't quite here yet, but I want to play anyway!
When did you get pg with your second LO (how old was #1)?
DS was 2yrs, 9mo when I got pregnant this time. When DS2 is born, DS1 will be 3yrs, 5mo.
Why did it suck?
Physically it didn't/doesn't suck too bad. Occasionally DS1 wants me to pick him up and that's getting more difficult. Sure I was exhausted in the 1st tri, and even moreso now that I'm nearing the end but it doesn't suck too bad. Emotionally, concerning the pregnancy, it sucks because I just have a lot less patience and I hate that for DS. I feel like I'm always harping on him to hurry up, or stop doing that so we can do this, etc.
What sucked at first for me was that it took almost a year and a half to get pregnant this time. We started trying in Jan 2010, when DS1 was 18mo old. I really, REALLY wanted my kids to be less than 3yrs apart, and preferably more like 2-2.5ish. As the months ticked by it became more and more disheartening, and when the time came where I realized that DS1 would be out of High School before a future sibling started high school, it really depressed me. I just wanted them to be close in age like me and my brother, and DH and his brother, so they could like and do all the same things, have lots of the same friends, etc. I just thought if they were anymore than 3 years apart, they wouldn't grow up being very close emotionally.
Why was it great?
This is one of those "Aha!" things where I realized that God knows what He's doing and it was a blessing in disguise that it took so long to get pg. We weren't ready for 2 so close in age. Remember what I said about my patience? OMG, it would be 10x worse if DS1 was still under 2 when I got pg. And when this one is born, I know now that I wouldn't be able to handle a young toddler + newborn.
What's great is that DS1 is potty trained, can feed himself, dress himself, follow directions, play independently, etc. And, he completely understands about the pregnancy, the baby in my tummy, his baby brother, that "His Baby" as he calls it, will cry, and need diapers changed, and pacifiers and bottles sometimes and sometimes will drink milk from Mommy's breast, etc.
And he is SO SO SO freaking excited to do things and teach things to his baby. He tells us this all the time. He LOVES all babies, and is so sweet and gentle with our friends' babies. And since we've gotten DS2's room ready, every day he goes in there, checks things out, makes sure everything is straightened and perfect, and has even taken to a "baby doll" (an old Mon Chi Chi doll my SIL found and gave him), which he holds in a cradle hold, carries around in a cradle hold, wants to put it to sleep in the (real) baby's crib, when he wakes up in the morning or after nap he asks about it first thing, etc. It's awesome and amazing and I simply cannot wait to see him interact with his brother next month (eeep! next month!). I know from seeing how DS1 is now, and also from talking to people who are 3+ years apart from their siblings, that my fears about them not being close were stupid. It's gonna be awesome.
Would you do the same timing again?
Yes, totally.
When 3 Became 4
When did you get pg with your second LO (how old was #1)?
both times my girls were turning 1 when i got KU again
Why did it suck?
being sick (i have bad morning sickness) with little ones that need you SUCKS
Why was it great?
i prefer (obv) to just get KU and get it 'over with'. i'm not a fan of being pregnant for the most part so i just wanted to have that phase over with
Would you do the same timing again?
sure! my girls are playmates, friends, sisters, i love it!
This is so freakin' adorable! I actually said "awww!" out loud like 5 times while I read it.
When did you get pg with your second LO (how old was #1)?
DD was 11 months old when we got pg. They are 20 months apart.
Why did it suck?
It didn't really. Yeah it was hard going through m/s and 1st-tri exhaustion with a just-turned-1-yr-old, but that's going to suck at any point. At least she was young enough where I could just lay on the floor and let her play on the ground around me rather than her being older and me having to try and chase after her.
Why was it great?
They are so close in age they'll have (roughly) the same interest level in activities that we do as a family from here on out. It's not like a much older child being "stuck" doing baby things or a baby being "stuck" somewhere boring that the older child would like. Plus neither of them will ever remember a time without the other, and I love that. I love that DD is going to have a permanent playmate so early in her life. DD hasn't skipped a beat with the adjustment. She adores her baby brother and the way he smiles at her and her antics makes my heart mush.
Would you do the same timing again?
Absolutely.
When did you get pg with your second LO (how old was #1)?
DD was 2 years old when I was ready tot try again--they're 3 years and 1 month apart.
Why did it suck?
It was pretty good timing for us. The one bad part I didn't consider is that DD was old enough to be aware, on an emotional level, of losing time with me when the baby was born. I think if she'd been a tad younger, she wouldn't have felt it the same way.
Why was it great?
First, it gave me the time I needed between kids. I wasn't ready before that.
Also, my 3yo could "help" with the baby by getting diapers, toys, etc.
And they're close enough to be great friends, but far enough apart to each have their own thing. DD1 got 3 years of being an only, and DD2 gets mommy to herself all day now since big sister is in school.
I think this was ideal spacing for us.
Would you do the same timing again?
Yes.
thanks again everyone! I love reading everyone's take/experience.
SO, DO WE DO IT, OR DO WE WAIT?!
When did you get pg with your second LO (how old was #1)?
Dd was 8 months old. We weren't being careful because it took almost 2.5 years to get KU with her. We were SHOCKED to say the least. They are 17 months apart.
Why did it suck?
I thought it was awful. I was sick and tired and felt like I was cheating DD. we were still EBF and my supply dropped like a rock. I had enough pumped milk to make it to 14 months during the day, but we ended up supplementing with formula at night and I was only BFing once a day. She ended up getting an ear infection, sinus infection, and pink eye all at once and we couldn't get rid of the EIs for five weeks. I blamed myself and felt guilty. It was different from being pg with DD bc I had the luxury of coming home and taking a nap. This time, I had a baby who had just woken up from a nap when I got home and was ready to play.
Also, DS really needed to be born first. He's got reflux and is needy and wants to be held all.the.time. Not a luxury I can afford while chasing a toddler.
I feel like I'm cheating him now too. Neither of them quite understand why they have to take turns with my attention.
Why was it great?
Um jury is still out. DD seems to love her baby brother and is so ready for him to play. It was great in the sense that I remember everything from DD so I don't feel "rusty" caring for a NB again. Plus we never put the baby stuff away.
Would you do the same timing again?
Hell no. If there is a third, we are waiting until DS is at least two. At least. Im talking not TTC until then, not necessarily planning for them born two years apart. This gap is really hard on me. I haven't had a margarita since July 2009. I'm just sayin'....mommy needs some alone time.
Dx with endo & blocked left tube - TTC #1 for 29 cycles before miracle BFP, #2 - Surprise!!
My TTC/PG blog / Panda Phenomenon Explained
hang in there! now go sit in your garage by yourself and have a margarita... I won't take no for an answer!