4 year old too rough!

blb2005

Anyone have this problem?  My 4 yr old is always playing rough, bumping into other bigger boys on purpose, stating that he is winning or better than others when playing a game, etc.  I feel like he is always picking on someone.  I have tried to tell him not to play so rough, talked to him about empathy, asked him to think about how others feel but nothing helps.  Any suggestions?  I don't want him to turn into a mean child or a bully! 

omurray

Its totally normal for boys that age to want to test out their strength and crave physical activity.  I think the important thing is to give them an appropriate outlet for it.  My DH wrestles with my son a lot at home and they both have a blast with it.  However, we are very clear with DS, that wrestling like that is something he should only do with daddy at this age.  He seems to get it and does not have issues being rough with other kids. 

SalisburyBride

Like pp, DH and DS wrestle a lot but he knows not to do that with other kids. However, there are a few kids that he plays with the will start playing rough but as soon as DS does the exact same thing to them the other kid runs off crying and I'm left with the kid that looks like the bully just because my kid is tougher than the other kid and doesn't cry about it. It drives me insane! I don't want my kid to be labeled the mean kid when 90 % of the time it truly is the other kids that start it and he is just playing along just as rough and tough as the others. He is not doing anything to intentionally hurt anyone else and I feel bad always having to call him out for playing too rough when he really isn't. We have just learned that there are some kids where we have a "no tears, no blood, all is fair" type of play relationship and other kids that he now knows that he needs to walk away from so that he doesn't get in trouble because the other kid can dish it but not take it. It's a fine line.