Not eating lunch at school.

kmhunt11

DD is 3.5 and in a multi age Montessori classroom.  She's bringing her lunches home virtually untouched every day.  She chooses what she wants, and I don't put anything close to junk in her lunch.  It's a rare day when she even gets something like goldfish, because I know that's all she eats.  This morning she begged for soup, so I made it and she didn't even take a bite.  Yesterday her PB&J was untouched.  Turkey/cheese rollups, cream cheese on pita bread, english muffin pizzas... all of it untouched.  If I put apple sauce or yogurt in, she will eat that every time, but nothing else.  She ends up eating her lunch in the car on the way home (lunch is at 11:30, I pick her up around 3pm), and then doesn't eat dinner.  

I've been clear with her that the protein comes first, and we even talk on the way to school about what she's going to eat first.  He teachers say they try to steer her, but they can't make her eat any more than I can, and I certainly don't want them to wage war with her over it.  

Any suggestions?  Her lead teacher suggested sending a yogurt every day, so at least she's getting some protein.  Her asst. teacher suggested sending nothing but a sandwich.  The first option doesn't appeal to me, and the second doesn't seem to work. 

Thanks! 

angelakh

DD went through that phase.  I would not let her eat her lunch in the car, she got her normal afternoon snack.  

Do they get snacks at school?  She may be filling up on the morning snack and not want lunch.  I would pack a variety of things, just very small quantities.  At one point I would pack 1 grape, 1/4 sandwich, 1 cheese cube and that was it.  Also, don't pack a juice box or milk so she isn't filling up on the fluid.  Now, she eats most of her lunch on most days.  DD's teacher says that lunch time is very social and that most of the time the kiddos are busy talking and don't actually eat much.  If your DD is eating most other meals then I wouldn't worry too much.

Mrs Manners

Sounds like she may just be too busy at school to be interested much in food. If she eats at 3:00 and isn't hungry at dinner, is that actually a problem? I find on the weekends when ds isn't forced into the school eating schedule, he eats a large breakfast, a piece iof fruit or boiled egg or yogurt before nap and then a large dinner. He doesn't seem to need 3 meals and a snack to satisfy him.

 What kind of breakfast does she eat? Is she getting a snack at school?

trizzie

we went through this.  I just have him eat his lunch in the car on the way home.  At first he ate NOTHING at school. Now he eats his whole lunch at school.  I think he is just more used to school now.

Mrs Manners

-auntie-:

Montessori and your parenting style seem to be in conflict. I wonder if she's getting a mixed message- the school encouraging independent choices and you attempting to dictate the order in which she should eat her food. And yet, neither is working.

I agree with this part too.  

KathrynMD

I don't see why any of this is a problem at all.

Pack her a healthy lunch, if she chooses to eat, she eats.  If she reguarly doesn't eat it, pack her less so she's not wasting so much food.  If she wants to eat it at 3, let her. 

Ditto PP - left to her own devices on the weekend, DD tends to eat a huge breakfast - eggs, waffles, bacon, etc., very small lunch - piece of cheese, a few grapes, etc. and then a decent dinner - 1/2 cheeseburger, some carrots and brocolli, etc.

kmhunt11

Mrs Manners:

-auntie-:

Montessori and your parenting style seem to be in conflict. I wonder if she's getting a mixed message- the school encouraging independent choices and you attempting to dictate the order in which she should eat her food. And yet, neither is working.

I agree with this part too.  

 

You're right.  I will try to chill out a little.  It's hard  I'm totally type A, but am working on it.   

PiggynKermit

You child will not starve herself. As long as you are giving her healthy options I wouldn't worry about it. She may not like other ppl watching her eat.