Hot topic Tuesday from the mod!

canthardlywait426

So tell me ladies. Are you at peace with how your delivery went? Whether it was planned, unplanned, emergency, etc, sometimes there are lingering feelings of grief, doubt, anger, etc. How are you handling your c section?

EveryNameIWantIsTaken

For the first year after, I was mad at my body for not doing what it was supposed to do during labor.  I felt like it failed me.  Actually, I still kind of feel like that, but I'm more at peace with it now.  I'm now looking forward to my next c-section delivery in the next few weeks because it should be so much more peaceful and an easier recovery than the first delivery for the fact the I won't have labored before.

magdalina.h

Are you at peace with how your delivery went? Nope. I had an unplanned/emergency c/s at 28w4d because my cord failed. I had to have a classical incision because my uterus was too small to handle a regular incision. Not only did I lose my son (massive brain bleed) I also lost the inability to try for a vaginal delivery. I am thankful that for my RCS I was able to choose the staff that was in the OR, it was extra emotional for me, and to hold Lucas as they were stitching me up.

Daisy22

I have never had one ounce of grief, doubt or anger about either of my c-sections. Vaginal birth just wasn't in the cards for me and I really do not feel like I loss out of anything by having a c-section.

cassoppea

I have never really been that upset about having a c section. Mine was planned so I had time to get used to the idea. I liked the fact that I would know the date of delivery and I wouldn't have to experience labor (or so I thought - I went into labor the night before my c/s!) I feel relieved that its over and definitely felt that it went better than I expected. I think, at first, I was a little upset that I missed out on pushing and that experience but now I'm just relieved my LO is here safe and healthy.

akayf

I had an emergency c-section due to fetal distress.   His heartrate dropped every time I pushed.   I am thankful the OB called for one when she did.   My son was born not breathing.   If I had continued to labor, we would have lost him.

However, I am still upset over the horrible recovery I had.   I had so many complications and was in the hospital for nearly a  month.  When I finally got home, I was barely able to walk from the couch to the bathroom, let alone take care of my baby.   And my poor older son...he still asks me if I still have a big boo and if I'm all done with the hospital.  Breaks my heart.    

caprocornia

Yes.  My water broke on it's own at 40 weeks, 2 days.  After 31 hours, I was only dilated to 4 centimeters and I spiked a fever, so a c/section it was.  It is not what I wanted, but I had come to terms about 10 hours earlier that a vaginal delivery was not likely to be my fate.  I'm back and forth on a RCS or VBAC next time.  I really want to know what it's like to have a baby immediately put on my chest, but I don't want to go through all that again.  We'll see when the time comes.

CaniacMom

I've had two C-Sections - the first one unplanned and the second one planned.  I was at peace with both of them.  It does not change anything at all about me being both boys mother.  I don't think they either one remember how they made their entrance into the world.

LadyXaverian

Totally at peace. It was unplanned, but I am 110% confident that it was necessary and not a result of anything that happened during labor. The OB who performed my surgery did an amazing job. My recovery was relatively easy, I've healed perfectly, and my daughter was born perfect in every way. Also, I was treated wonderfully by all of the hospital staff. What more could I ask for?

If I were to get pregnant again, I would hope and plan for a VBAC, but I wouldn't be upset if a repeat c/s was necessary.

JG362009

Not at peace.  I still absolutely hate the on call doctor that called and did my c-section.  I feel very selfish, bratty, and petty for not being at peace with it, but I don't know how to come to terms with it.  There's a lot about it that I absolutely hated and focus on/get anxious about and can't seem to get over.  

lilydeven

Totally at peace with it.

BUmama

I'm about to have my 3rd c/s and am completely at peace with how my children's births went. I was induced with my first and after 8 hours of pitocin her heart started to decel during contractions so they turned off the pitocin. They let me labor for 5 more hours but I made no progress and she started having decels again so the decision was made, 30 minutes later my DH was holding our little girl and after an hour of puking my guts up (I now know to ask for anti-nausea meds!) I held her, bf her and all was well. 2nd c/s went even better and we're hopeful that this one will be just as easy.

canthardlywait426

magdalina.h:

Are you at peace with how your delivery went? Nope. I had an unplanned/emergency c/s at 28w4d because my cord failed. I had to have a classical incision because my uterus was too small to handle a regular incision. Not only did I lose my son (massive brain bleed) I also lost the inability to try for a vaginal delivery. I am thankful that for my RCS I was able to choose the staff that was in the OR, it was extra emotional for me, and to hold Lucas as they were stitching me up.

I am so so sorry for your loss and your experience. I can't imagine going thought all of that and I don't blame you at all for not being at peace with it. ((hugs))

edit: spelling errors

magdalina.h

canthardlywait426:

magdalina.h:

Are you at peace with how your delivery went? Nope. I had an unplanned/emergency c/s at 28w4d because my cord failed. I had to have a classical incision because my uterus was too small to handle a regular incision. Not only did I lose my son (massive brain bleed) I also lost the inability to try for a vaginal delivery. I am thankful that for my RCS I was able to choose the staff that was in the OR, it was extra emotional for me, and to hold Lucas as they were stitching me up.

I am so so sorry for your lose and your experience. I can't imagine goig thought all of that and I don't blame you at all for not being at peace with it. ((hugs))

Thank you

pepomntpat

With the actual c-section, yes. With how I was treated afterwards, with being separated from my daughter for no reason, with not standing up for her and for me...no.

capulet

I had an unplanned c/s after an induction which led to fetal distress.  In retrospect I don't think the induction was necessary, but I had a good recovery and was able to bond with and BF DD.  Since things went pretty well afterwards, I don't have any lingering negative feelings about my c/s, and I will be having another one with #2 in a few weeks.

sytom

My delievery was absolutely perfect!  The nurse arranged it for me and DH to take LO to recovery room.  It was never done at my hospital.  Boy, did I write them a great letter afterwards!

 

pepomntpat

JG362009:

Not at peace.  I still absolutely hate the on call doctor that called and did my c-section.  I feel very selfish, bratty, and petty for not being at peace with it, but I don't know how to come to terms with it.  There's a lot about it that I absolutely hated and focus on/get anxious about and can't seem to get over.  

I don't think you should feel selfish, bratty or petty. It is such a majorly important day in our lives and when it doesn't go well, I think it is pretty damn normal to be angry about it. 

g00dg0llymsm0lly

I'm at peace with it. I definitely had to go through the "stages of grief" after losing all chances for natural, but I've made it to the other side.

mrs.jenRN

I am still not 100% at peace, but I am a lot better than I was at first. I hated the fact that I had to have a c section and I felt like my body had let me down. Yes, my baby was 9 lbs, but so what? In my family, that is a normal sized baby and most of my relatives did not require c sections. I am going to try for a VBAC next time, but I know I have to keep in the back of my head that a RCS may have to happen.

I am so happy that BFing has gone so well, despite my CS. She was brought right to me in recovery and I was able to nurse her. My hospital is very supportive of BFing so I didn't have to put up a fight. I was too exhausted by that point so I'm glad I didn't have to.

Optimus+Prime

I grieved every day before delivery and for months after.

Now I'm at peace and I am prepared for future c-sections. It actually was extremely easy and I wouldn't have it any other way now.

flutepharm87

I'm not happy about it, but I've come to terms with it. I know that there wasn't anything I could have done differently. I know that it was the only way for all 3 of us to have survived. But I still feel cheated out of a vaginal delivery. I would have been allowed to have a vaginal delivery as both boys were head down had the circumstances been different and that definitely still haunts me. However, I've been told that as long as I wait for a year, I'm a great candidate for a VBAC and I have 2 healthy baby boys who are the center of my world, so I feel like I shouldn't complain too much as it could have ended much worse.

RumbleLina

Meh, It could be more at peace but I feel like I am finally on my way to accepting it.

I have anger and grief over not being awake when my son was born and I don't know that anything will help that. It is not as strong as it was when he was born but I still yearn for that experience. I feel like I failed him in a way because I wasn't there when he was sent to the NICU.

I am also still processing being told I can never vaginally delivery again but I am being more and more okay with have repeat c-sections. The more I learn about my options during a c-section the more empowered I feel with have a repeat.

I also still feel like my body failed me because I wasn't able to do a "normal" woman can do. Not sure I will get past that.

JG362009

pepomntpat:

JG362009:

Not at peace.  I still absolutely hate the on call doctor that called and did my c-section.  I feel very selfish, bratty, and petty for not being at peace with it, but I don't know how to come to terms with it.  There's a lot about it that I absolutely hated and focus on/get anxious about and can't seem to get over.  

I don't think you should feel selfish, bratty or petty. It is such a majorly important day in our lives and when it doesn't go well, I think it is pretty damn normal to be angry about it. 

Thank you.  I feel bad hating the experience so much because I have a really healthy son and feel like I should be able to just get over it, so thanks for your comment.   

aandg

I would have preferred another vaginal birth, but I'm very thankful for my c section. I had complete placenta previa and if a c section wouldn't have been available, the outcome could have been very bad for both DD and me. 

ladipale

so not at peace with it at all. I grieve my birth experience quite often and feel like a complete failure a lot of the time.

shaindelr

My issues with it are minor ones, so I mean no disrespect whatsoever to people who had serious issues.

My c-section was an emergency that happened during an ECV that went wrong. Two doctors were pushing really hard on my little guy (Liam) to get him to flip, and when he flipped, the cord went around his neck, and his vitals plummetted. The operating room went crazy with the doctors yelling orders, and he was out four minutes later.

The thing is, I'm a sort of goofy person who jokes around a lot, so while the doctors were pushing on him (before things went wrong), they asked how I was handling the pain, and I joked with them, "Well, I'm getting my next baby from China. I'll tell you that."

That was the last thing I said before his vitals plummetted, and they cut me open. He was born a little blue, but he was fine as soon as they'd pumped oxygen into him, but if something had happened, I would have felt HORRIBLE that that was the last thing I said to the doctors.

I also can't believe the doctors didn't tell me I was having my baby. A nurse started saying, "Has anyone told her what's going on?" and then no one answered her, and she said, "You're having your baby now," and put an oxygen mask on my face. Seeing her eyes peeking out over her surgical mask telling me that will *always* be a vivid memory.