Gift for donor?

lunatwo

I am anticipating a donor retrieval this week and my acupuncturist mentioned that it is customary to bring a gift for the ED.  I asked the coordinator and she said that too.  The ED is anonymous so I would be giving the gift to the nurse at the ER to give to her I guess?

What is appropriate to give?  Price range?  I want to make sure that I give something in line with what she might have received in previous cycles.  I was thinking maybe a keychain from Tiffanys or something?  Too much?  Too little?

EMNTOM

We did not use DE but thought I would chime in...

A little note of appreciation with flowers for when she wakes up after the retrieval (would be a special surprise).

GC for a massage (if you know she is local)

I am sure you could find a keychain other than from Tiffanys if you are on a budget but this would also be nice. (maybe in a shape of a heart)

A Christmas Ornament

GL

dreamalotmp

I'm not sure but I'm so glad you brought this up. Off to figure out what we'll give...

Thanks!

lynn0926

I am not doing DE right now but have looking into a ton. I have read that a gift around the $100 price range is pretty standard. So, idea of a Tiffanys key chain or a gc like PP mentioned to a spa (if local). I was catching up on the Lil Couple last night and she did a Pandora with a few charms for her surrogate. GL! I hope you are having a better day today and that your donor is progressing!

married2mrpooh

sent you a private message looking for some info

mielkede

We went a little smaller. We got an angle (the ones that are more clay colored and have meanings, sorry I can't remember the name) and another small gift. I put more time and thought into the card we wrote to her. I think she really liked it as once she found out we got a BFP she got us a gift for DD. It is awesome and now she has something from our donor when she is older.

reb259

You wouldnt do that for a frozen egg donor would you?  I am assuming only fresh...right?  Or am i wrong...

lhcooper

Glad to see this thread; I was thinking about this too.  I'm thinking of going the spa gift certificate; seems like a nice thing after what an IVF cycle puts your body through. 

I think probably not with the frozen egg donor?

But, another question:  we're in a shared risk cycle, splitting the donor's eggs with 2 other recipients.  It's not clear if we (we are #3 in line) will definitely get eggs.  I don't want to "punish" the donor by NOT getting her a gift, but if we end up not completing the cycle with her, wouldn't it be weird *to* give her a gift? (she'll know, I think, what happens in this regard with her eggs, though not if any pregnancies result or anything).

lunatwo

married2mrpooh:

sent you a private message looking for some info

PM in your inbox.

lunatwo

Thanks for the advice! I really don't know what is typically done with any of this stuff. But I think a frozen donor probably wouldn't expect anything. As for the shared risk scenario, I think it would be fine to skip it. I really don't think anyone is really expecting a gift, it's just if it feels right to do it. I honestly didn't even think about it until my acupuncturist said something.

jfire28

If standard issue was $100, then we were $60 short. We decided to give $40 GC to a favorite vendor on Etsy - Oh Yum. I contacted Kathy, the vendor & she was more than thrilled to set it all up for us.  I figured our ED would like to have a spa day with special lotions, bath salts & Kathy's gourmet marshmallows.  She could pick what she wanted & the vendor [Oh Yum] meant something to me as well, since this is where I buy all my lotions & potions throughout the year.  I knew that Kathy would be able to set everything up so it would remain anonymous.  We purchased the GC for the price range that we wanted, and had her email the pdf along with a note to our case manager at the donor agency, where she had sent the GC along with the letter that we prepared to our donor.