If I ever have a second child I will try extremely hard to treat them the same in terms of what each one is allowed to do. That's not quite coming out the way I mean it to. For example, my parents set a hard and fast rule for me that I was not allowed to go to the town beach with my friends as a teenager.
5 years later, my brother was allowed to.
I was not permitted to get my license until I was 17+.
4 years later, my brother was allowed to at 16.
I was arguably the "better child" as well as I had straight As, was a leader in many organizations, volunteered my time at a nursing home, and had a job. Him...notsomuch. I still resent that it was all hard and fast for me, but not for him.
I don't have an answer to the second part since we are mostly still in survival mode these days...
Spank/pop in the mouth. It was not excessive, I was not even close to abused (I was as far from it as you could get), but I don't want to do it. I believe there are other ways, and I hope I'm right.
Right now, I don't do much "parenting," so I can't answer that one.
I have amazing parents, and for the most part, hope to be as good at the job as they were.
ditto.
Plus, I am going to give them less freedom than I had in high school. I was all over the place & really could've used a good grounding/foot put down.
I don't like how my mom always said "wait until you're father gets home" when we did something wrong. We had a fear of my dad growing up but it also ended with us not giving my mother the respect that she deserved. They did the good cop bad cop style and I want to be equal with DH when it comes to discipline.
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My mom is an alcoholic so there is a loooong list of things she did that I will never do. Let her smoke and drink in my house, have boyfriends spend the night, take her to parties where I get trashed and she drives me home after I hook up. I guess you get it.
My dad did what pp said and treated my sister and me different. I was expected to always make the honor roll or I was grounded. My sister could get c and that was fine. I wasn't allowed to ride to school with my friends who had a car and license but four years later my sister was. I am going to make a real effort to have the same rules for all kids. My sister was allowed to work during high school. The only job I was allowed was babysitting our preachers kids.
I agree about no spanking...my mom was big on this and I will not hit my kids. My mom also used to make me sit at the table until I finished eating what was on my plate, even if I didn't like it. This meant that I would still be sitting at the table by myself after everyone else had left. I would never do that to my kids. I was also never allowed to have sleepovers, which I loved. If my kids want friends to sleep over, I will be much more easy-going about it.
I am an only child, so I can't comment on different treatment of siblings. But I do think that people in general are much more lax about rules with second and third kids than they are with a first. I think that's pretty normal.
I agree about no spanking...my mom was big on this and I will not hit my kids. My mom also used to make me sit at the table until I finished eating what was on my plate, even if I didn't like it. This meant that I would still be sitting at the table by myself after everyone else had left. I would never do that to my kids. I was also never allowed to have sleepovers, which I loved. If my kids want friends to sleep over, I will be much more easy-going about it.
I am an only child, so I can't comment on different treatment of siblings. But I do think that people in general are much more lax about rules with second and third kids than they are with a first. I think that's pretty normal.
I had to do that as well. After I fell asleep at the table a few times, they stopped.
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Re: Parenting styles?
If I ever have a second child I will try extremely hard to treat them the same in terms of what each one is allowed to do. That's not quite coming out the way I mean it to. For example, my parents set a hard and fast rule for me that I was not allowed to go to the town beach with my friends as a teenager.
5 years later, my brother was allowed to.
I was not permitted to get my license until I was 17+.
4 years later, my brother was allowed to at 16.
I was arguably the "better child" as well as I had straight As, was a leader in many organizations, volunteered my time at a nursing home, and had a job. Him...notsomuch. I still resent that it was all hard and fast for me, but not for him.
I don't have an answer to the second part since we are mostly still in survival mode these days...
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
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ditto.
Plus, I am going to give them less freedom than I had in high school. I was all over the place & really could've used a good grounding/foot put down.
MC 9/8/10
Baby Boy Born 7/31/11
My mom is an alcoholic so there is a loooong list of things she did that I will never do. Let her smoke and drink in my house, have boyfriends spend the night, take her to parties where I get trashed and she drives me home after I hook up. I guess you get it.
My dad did what pp said and treated my sister and me different. I was expected to always make the honor roll or I was grounded. My sister could get c and that was fine. I wasn't allowed to ride to school with my friends who had a car and license but four years later my sister was. I am going to make a real effort to have the same rules for all kids. My sister was allowed to work during high school. The only job I was allowed was babysitting our preachers kids.
I won't hit my children.
If I can pull that off, it's a big step. Everything else is pretty much small potatoes in comparison.
I agree about no spanking...my mom was big on this and I will not hit my kids. My mom also used to make me sit at the table until I finished eating what was on my plate, even if I didn't like it. This meant that I would still be sitting at the table by myself after everyone else had left. I would never do that to my kids. I was also never allowed to have sleepovers, which I loved. If my kids want friends to sleep over, I will be much more easy-going about it.
I am an only child, so I can't comment on different treatment of siblings. But I do think that people in general are much more lax about rules with second and third kids than they are with a first. I think that's pretty normal.
I had to do that as well. After I fell asleep at the table a few times, they stopped.
I will try my hardest never to guilt trip them...my parents and DH's mom are notorius for this.
I want to have an open relationship with them and hope that they can feel like they can tell me anything, like my mom did with me.
The brothers I Rule and OMG! with their faithful sidekickFootFoot.
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.