Sad/Scared Vent

Mare15

(First off, sorry some of this is repeat from the Friday check in...)  I'm just kind of a mess right now.  Granted 7 weeks pregnant will do that to a person.  But on top of that, I received some of the worst kind of news from a friend.  She's been my go to person for all things pregnancy and baby for a few weeks now.  Friday she told me that she's 13 weeks along but the baby isn't okay and isn't expected to live more than a few hours past delivery, assuming she makes it full term at all.  I'm just so torn up for her, I feel like I've been crying all weekend.  There just aren't words to describe how sad I am for her.  I wish I could say the right thing for her, but we both said there really isn't such a thing.  I just can't stop thinking about how she's one of the nicest and healthiest people I know and just how unfair it is for her and her family.  (I'm not trying to imply it's ever fair for anyone...)

A distant, secondary thing to my grief for her is concern over something she said.  This is her second pregnancy (which is why she's been such a resource for me) and she said she should have known something was wrong because she wasn't feeling as sick as she did first time.  Obviously, she didn't mean anything by it and I wouldn't have expected her to be thinking about what she said.  But later that kind of just stuck in my head.  I've had random pop-up symptoms, but aside from fatigue I've had several day stretches where I don't "feel" the least bit pregnant, today included.  I still have about a week and a half before my first doctors appointment, but I'm starting to get scared by my lack of symptoms/side effects.  (I'm sorry to the people I'm driving crazy by complaining about a lack of m/s.)  I know I'm overreacting, but I just need to vent and cry and freak out a little bit.  I just want (like every mother out there I'm sure) to know that LO will be okay and healthy and that things are going how they should.  Just scared I guess. 

marleysmom

I 'm so sorry to hear about your friend. What a terrible situation, and it must be so hard on you to be there for her amidst your own fears. I was a total basketcase for the several weeks with both of my pregnancies, but especially with my first. I did not always "feel" pregnant either, and I remember feeling relief every time I felt a wave of morning sickness. I spotted early on with both as well, so I was always convinced that I was seconds away from miscarrying. I don't have any advice except to tell you you're not alone, and hang in there. I felt so much better once I had my first OB appointment. In the meantime, feel free to freak out and vent on this board; we understand!

ambigs

i'm sorry to hear that you're worrying so much.  feel free to share/vent here anytime! 

SusieDMB

Every pregnancy is different. In general, a lot of people are more sick with girls, but it varies from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy. Is it trisomy your friend's baby has?

Mare15

Thank you all for the support, it means the world to me.  I can't believe how well my friend is coping.  I just hope that I can continue to be there for her and not say something stupid. 

As for me, apparently my LO felt bad for me and decided to reassure me by making me feel terrible.    Oh joy.  So apparently, this is a good case of be careful what you wish for.