Dealing with pet loss and obsession with spirits

June2007

I wrote a few weeks ago about losing our dog to a freak accident. DD had a rough time accepting that our dog was gone for good. Then Halloween came with movies, songs and stories about ghosts, which brought on questions about if the dog was a ghost now. My Mom got her the movie Spooky Buddies where a dog becomes a spirit for part of the movies, and the "Halloween Hound" steals his brothers and sisters souls. Now our bird (who I have had since I was 7) died of old age and now DD#1 is obsessed with spirit talk. She is constantly playing games about her babies or stuffed animals dying and telling her little sister to be careful doing XYZ or she might die. It's a little disturbing.

Has anyone else dealt with this? I am not making a big deal out of it, I am hoping she'll just move on after a while and not want to play these games anymore.

Asquared

over 2 months ago we lost our dog, I've just told her he went to heaven.  I think if you're concerned stop letting her watch that movie and remind her that most shows are just pretend.  She'll get better w/ time, but my dd was around a kid today w/ the same name as our dog and she started crying saying she missed him so much... out of left field, but after a hug and an "I know, I miss him too"  she was fine. 

cecee36

I'm sort of dealing with a similar situation with my daughter.  We have a dog (who's doing fine) and about a year ago, we bought her two goldfish.  One of the fish died within a month but the other lasted up until about two weeks ago.  When that one died, she started asking lots of questions about death like: "When are you and Daddy gonna die?" or "Is Dora (the fish that died) in heaven with Grandpa Pete, Jesus and Boots (the first fish that died)?"  I try to answer honestly but with short answers.  I think after some time those questions will move to the back burner once some new and exciting events take place.  I'm sure the same thing will happen for your daughter.  Try a trip to Chuck E. Cheese, a play date with some friends or a conversation about the upcoming holidays to get her mind off of it. Making new and happy memories always trumps sad ones--at least I like to think so!  Hope that helps!

June2007

cecee36:

I'm sort of dealing with a similar situation with my daughter.  We have a dog (who's doing fine) and about a year ago, we bought her two goldfish.  One of the fish died within a month but the other lasted up until about two weeks ago.  When that one died, she started asking lots of questions about death like: "When are you and Daddy gonna die?" or "Is Dora (the fish that died) in heaven with Grandpa Pete, Jesus and Boots (the first fish that died)?"  I try to answer honestly but with short answers.  I think after some time those questions will move to the back burner once some new and exciting events take place.  I'm sure the same thing will happen for your daughter.  Try a trip to Chuck E. Cheese, a play date with some friends or a conversation about the upcoming holidays to get her mind off of it. Making new and happy memories always trumps sad ones--at least I like to think so!  Hope that helps!

Thanks for the advice! We actually go a lot places during the week, I teach classes at an indoor play place (kind of like gymboree/my gym) so we go there a lot, we also hit up the beach and play ground a few times a week and have ballet class and play dates. But when we're home the death games and spirit talk comes back. Maybe focusing on Christmas/Thanksgiving will help (maybe we'll avoid A Christmas Carol this year- haha!) her look forward to new games!

And PP (I dont know how to quote 2people) Thanks for the advice. I'm sure you're right a time will help.

UsedToBeGoldie

my son has been doing a lot of ghost/dead talk b/c of all the halloween stuff... i'd stop any halloween type movies, etc - and bring out christmas stuff (assuming you celebrate?)... so she can find something new to focus on.

it's normal for a child that age to act that way - that's how they process things... hopefully moving on to a new "holiday" will help her stop focusing on it.

honeybeez

We lost both of our pets in the past 5 months. Our cat was 15 years old and our dog was 11. DD asks everyday if we can go to heaven to get them. She says that she misses them all the time. It's heartbreaking especially since those were our only pets and we're not getting another anytime soon.

We were honest with her about it. We said that they were sick and that they had to go live with Jesus in heaven.