Help! 16 MO's 4-month cranky period

maribel922

Ladies, I am at my wits end.  My 16 month old is inconsolable.  He is cranky all.the.time.  He cries and whines through most of the day.  I'd say he's happy about 25% of the time on a daily basis, but the rest of the time, he is whining, crying or downright throwing a temper tantrum.

My older son had a lot of temper tantrums around 15 months, I know, but he was never like this.  With little, he is just pissed at the world all the time and we're going on about 4 months of this!  I have given him endless Motrin thinking it's teething, taken him to the doctor only to have him not be ill, fed him, clothed him, hugged him, given him a pacifier and blankie, napped him, tried to reinforce sign language and identifying words verbally, loved him incessantly and nothing is working!  He was a happy newborn and infant, so I'm scratching my head.  It's hard to go from easily being able to problem solve with him as a newborn (eg.  crying?  oh, he must need a diaper change or food or a nap, etc.) to really not knowing what to do with him as a toddler.  Today he cried like he was a victim of electrocution for 15 minutes on the drive home from Central Market for no apparent reason.  I tried to give him water.  I tried to give him a cup of snacks.  I tried to give him a freakin Rice Krispy treat that was in my purse.  He threw it all on the floor.  It's hard to feel sorry for someone who throws a Rice Krispy treat on the floor!    At home out of the carseat, he continued crying for about 10 minutes.  The temper tantrum this afternoon is definitely not the norm, but I really feel like he cries all.the.time.  And, I really really really want to help.  He sleeps great and is still napping most of the time twice a day.  He eats pretty well, too.  What is it?!!!  Is he just a grump?!!I will do anything to have a happy baby, again.   

Did any of your kids go through this?  If even one of you said that this sounded somewhat familiar, I would hug you!  TIA

ec3under4

I'm so sorry. I think the the 14-18 month range is a really hard time. They can't yet explain themselves or tell us what they want so many times they turn to screaming, which can drive one to drink...a lot!

I am sure you have tried everything but here are a few things that come to mind. Have you figured out what his triggers are(like too much time in the car, not eating enough, being bored, etc...)? Maybe changing his diet to include less sugar as that can sometimes make tantrums worse. Maybe he is over-stimulated? Does he scream more after you have been out or been around a lot of people? 

Also, have you tried timing exactly when he screams and for how long? I know that with my son(particularly when he was a super cranky baby), I used to think he was screaming all the time. My pedi suggested that I write down how often he cried. Often times, it seemed to me a lot worse than it actually was. Not that I am down playing the intensity of any screaming but sometimes, I think it's easy to lose track of time. kwim? 

With all that, even if you lesson the triggers, keep him physically active, eating, napping, etc...sometimes, I have learned that they just scream. My olderst is an ear-piercing, I want to pull my hair out screamer. And, he is 4.5. He doesn't do it all the time anymore but he still has his moments. His tantrums can go on for an hour, easily. During those times, I make sure he is safe and I remove myself from the situation. I have learned to tune it out until he calms down and then we can talk.

Lots of hugs and hang in there!! 

maribel922

ec3under4:

I am sure you have tried everything but here are a few things that come to mind. Have you figured out what his triggers are(like too much time in the car, not eating enough, being bored, etc...)? Maybe changing his diet to include less sugar as that can sometimes make tantrums worse. Maybe he is over-stimulated? Does he scream more after you have been out or been around a lot of people? 

Also, have you tried timing exactly when he screams and for how long? I know that with my son(particularly when he was a super cranky baby), I used to think he was screaming all the time. My pedi suggested that I write down how often he cried. Often times, it seemed to me a lot worse than it actually was. Not that I am down playing the intensity of any screaming but sometimes, I think it's easy to lose track of time. kwim? 

  Thanks so much!  Believe me, if I weren't 17 weeks pregnant, I would be guzzling an entire bottle of wine right now.  I haven't kept a log of his behavior, but I think that's a great suggestion.  On the surface, I feel like he should be happy, that is he's generally well-rested, doesn't get a lot of sugar, eats pretty well, not a lot of time in the car, etc. but maybe there is something I'm overlooking.  I really appreciate your response.  It's nice to know that someone else has been there!

mlf625

What time are you putting him to bed?  Any chance he needs an earlier bedtime?  I know you said he sleeps great, but to me it sounds like a kid who might just be tired.  At that age, Anderson had to be in bed by 6:30 at the latest - any later than that and he'd be a hot mess the next day.

Just a thought.  Hope he cheers up soon.  For sure within the next 23 weeks.  

maribel922

mlf625:

What time are you putting him to bed?  Any chance he needs an earlier bedtime?  I know you said he sleeps great, but to me it sounds like a kid who might just be tired.  At that age, Anderson had to be in bed by 6:30 at the latest - any later than that and he'd be a hot mess the next day.

Just a thought.  Hope he cheers up soon.  For sure within the next 23 weeks.  

  He goes to bed at 7:30.  I am totally game for anything at this point, so will def. try earlier bedtime, as I haven't, yet.  Thanks for the suggestion and for serious on hoping he cheers up within the next 23 weeks!  I can handle a lot, but that scares the bejeebus out of me!

m_and_m

Sounds a lot like the baby I nanny, but she's younger. It started with her around 9-10mos and she's 13mos now. I'm pretty sure she's overtired and has some allergy issues, but she is rarely happy and when she is it doesn't last long. It's heartbreaking when there seems to be nothing you can do. :-(

No suggestions, just sympathy. 

BLONDIE6FT

i'm sorry. i feel your pain. i hate to tell you this, but our 26 month old is still like this!! meltdowns. all. the. time.  moms can give you lots of advice on how to to handle it and you can try different suggestions (as i have). i google 'how to handle tantrums, meltdowns' and i've read books (like the love and logic series). her temperment is just that way.  the only way i know this now is after a second baby who is nothing like this! if i had had an only child, i would be beating myself up everyday that i was doing or not doing something right.

i used to think it was me or what i was doing, but after hanging around a variety of moms with lots of kids, i've come to terms with some kids are just more difficult than others.

and since 6:05 this morning, she has had 4 meltdowns.  i know that she is frustrated half the time because she is trying to communicate and the other half of the time she is mad she doesn't get what she wants. 

i'm sorry. just wanted you to know i'm right there with you.

on a good note--my girlfriend that had a child with a similiar temperment--her son outgrew it at 3. i saw it! so there is hope!

maribel922

Thanks, guys!  Today has so far thankfully been better with the crying.  Blondie, I appreciate the hope that this could end.  I hate to wish that he will grow up in any way, but I also know it will get better when he can communicate better, that is talk to me and tell me what's going on!  I'm holding out hope for that, too

sundot

Maribel, Thank you so much for posting this. My ds2--also 16 months--has been more difficult lately and I've just been doing what I can, without much thought (survival mode). Reading EC3under4's response was awesome and it puts what we are going through in a little better perspective (aka wake-up call).

DS2 does go to bed at 6:30pm and if he stays up any later he's a monster to put to bed. He is eating ALL THE TIME! I can't believe how much he wants! In the car is the worst...I have to play games with him as I am driving to keep him happy--luckily dd and ds1 are good at keeping him entertained too.

Anyway, Thank you and I hope he gets better soon...