Epidural (vent)

Southern-Yankee

So I am trying my best to go without meds with my labor.  Unfortunately because of the health issues I've had with my pregnancy if LO doesn't decide to come on his own they will induce me next Friday so I am trying everything I can think of to get things started (I was 4cm and 90% effaced on Tuesday so I think I have a good chance of going on my own).

What's really starting to irritate me is everyone's negativity about me choosing to go without med!  Every time I mention it or DH mentions it to someone we hear "Is she crazy?!  With the meds available she should definitely get the epidural."  "You say you want to go med free now but wait until you feel the pain.  You'll be begging for the epidural!"  And everything in between.

The ONLY support I've had is from DH and my parents.  My mom did it with three kids (induced with one) and said "It's painful but as long as you remember the pain doesn't last forever you'll be fine."  And look at all the women who have gone before me that did it without meds.  It's just aggravating that everyone thinks I'm an idiot for choosing to go med free.  Not everyone's labor is the same.  Just because it was painful to you does't mean it will be for me.  And if it is then so what?  I have learned to just stop telling everyone my plan because the next time I hear "You're going to want that epidural" I'm going to go slap off on someone!

Anyone else tired of hearing it? 

theladyjess

I'm having a totally normal and easy (at least from the horror stories I've heard from other women) pregnancy.  I fully intend on going med free.  My friends keep telling me that I'm going to want an epi and it's starting to get really annoying.  Just because they didn't bother with educating themselves about what to expect during labor and birth doesn't mean that I'm going in blindly as well. 

I'm at the point where I no longer say anything to them.  When they say I'll want meds I just reply with, "We'll see."  It's not worth aruging with them because they'll never change their mind. 

Southern-Yankee

That's true theladyjess.  Their negativity is actually what's pushing me to try even harder.  I want to come out saying "HA!  Thought you knew it all, huh?"  Kind of like the doctors that told me I would have LO by 32 weeks due to PTL.  I'm almost to 39 weeks now and just want to rub it in their faces.  lol.

tct1219

When I was pregnant and someone asked I would say I planned not to have any meds. I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of a told you so if something happened (I wasn't high risk but I have a condition that is associated with 2nd trimester delivery and breech presentation so there was a chance of c/s).

My husband did get into an argument with an acquaintance once who works in an anesthesiologist office and offered to help me get the one I wanted. I wasn't there but she basically said that wasn't going to happen and he got pretty offended and insisted I was not having any drugs.

If people's comments bother you, you might just wait until after you have the baby. I've known a lot of people who didn't prepare but said they were going to "try to go natural" and of course when they didn't, it only made everyone else think it was totally impossible to give birth without being drugged up. I imagine that's why people have reactions like that.

I don't know your medical history, but I wouldn't consent to an induction unless there was a good reason to do so. I hope you won't have to make that decision and that he arrives naturally

gekeler6

Go with what you want to do, don't let everyone decide for you or make you feel you are doing the wrong choice.  I was induced and went med free.  12 hours of labor with my twins.  I didn't have anything to compare to since they were my first.  I'm not going to lie, its tough work and you have to be strong willed.  Also, if you end up choosing meds don't feel like you failed.  Having babies is one of the hardest things to do, but its well worth the whole 9 months and the labor to bring your baby into the world.  I did an epi with my second labor and I enjoyed the experience better, but that doesn't mean that my natural birth was horrible.  I wanted to experience both.  Now, this time I'm leaning towards an epi only because I was very happy with it last time.  I guess we will see how it goes.  I'm not going to be ashamed to ask for pain meds, it makes it better for me to last longer.

MawrtyrB

I did a pit induction with my twins without the epidural or other pain meds and it was fine. I too was fed all the horror stories about how ridiculous pit contractions were. It was an easier labor because I was more relaxed in the more natural friendly hospital that we chose for that delivery. That being said, I was not happy about doing the induction so I understand your conflict. I didn't comply lightly, but I decided I had chosen this midwife for a reason and I needed to trust her opinion. It ended up being the right call in that specific situation.

 You can do an induction and still have a pain med free birth.

Faliny

YES!! I'm over it! When it's strangers I could care less, but I had my entire family saying those things. I got to the point where I just didn't call anyone and if they called me I made it very short, if they started on the topic I would just say "ok, well that was your decision and this is mine. My child, my body ... I would appreciate support instead of you should do this" Now they all keep quiet and respect my decision for a med free birthing experience. I also told them I know whats best for myself anf my family, period. It sounds harsh to say to family, but they are so much better now!! And my family is so incredibly out spoken, if you don't say something and be honest (almost harshly) they won't get it. GL, just take a deep breath and ignore most ;-)

fyziksgirl

Oh yes, I just hear similar because I have midwives attending me instead of an OB. I'm only 12 weeks pregnant, and most people just found out I'm pregnant, so I don't think most people have thought ahead to delivery yet, but I'm sure I will get the epidural comment lots just because the attitudes of those around me are so different than mine. My mom has told me several times how she didn't like the OB who attended her birth (hers wasn't on-call at the time) the one time she'd seen him previously, but it ended up being good because "she needed the tough love." Seriously? How 'bout support and encouragement instead of a jerk with no patience? And my dad just doesn't want anyone he loves to be suffering, and he considers childbirth suffering. He's told me that watching my mom suffer was so hard. *sigh*

I'm trying to keep my plans a secret as much as I can, not because I'm ashamed but because I just don't need strangers' comments. I say I have appointments with "my provider" instead of my midwife. When people ask where I'm delivering I say, "a facility in x" (I live in the Puget Sound region, lots of cities) instead of "a birth center." Some people will ask, and I won't lie, but I also am trying to keep it a secret because I just don't need the negativity.

If you want some support, try one of Ina May's books if you haven't. The first half is amazing birth stories and it's so empowering! Reading positive story after positive story helped change my mindset from the negativity (and even "I'll show them!" is somewhat negative and feels like I'm fighting for me) to confidence.

Good luck!

Brooke S

Stick to your guns.  I went natural and I loved it.  As long as you focus and do your breathing you will be fine.  Everyone said I was crazy to want to go natural but I did it!  My dad said that he was pretty proud of me.  Just him saying that makes it all worth it.  Good luck!