WWYD? NPR

caitdana

I have not had a weekend to myself or any time really to myself this past year.  If any I have had maybe a total of 5 hours of real alone time that I can think of. 

So, DH wants to go see his family 10 hours away for thanksgiving and was going to take the girls. We just moved out to the country and have no one to really take care of our dogs like we used to. Boarding all 3 of them, plus getting the kennel shots would be very expensive plus the one we would use has already been booked so I would have to find a new place.   So, to avoid the hassel I opted to stay home while DH took the girls. Plus I hate riding in the car that long.

It will be their first time to visit his mom's family. I am holding hard feelings because his brothers and that side of the family have made no effort to reach out to us. Most of them did not even acknowledge that the girls were born. The one sister who did, would say she is coming down to visit, we would clear our calendar and start to plan things and then she would back out the weekend before or just stop calling a few weeks before each time. 

So, I was happy to have my weekend by myself and going black friday shopping until last night.  I mentioned to MIL that I may not be coming. Well that did not go over well. Everyone in his family (mom, brothers, and sister) started to call and text DH asking if our marriage was okay and if I had something against the family. So, now, I feel like I should suck it up and go. Plus it is starting to make me nervous being that far away from my girls, especially on a holiday.

So, would you take the weekend by yourself or find a way to make it work where you could go with ? 

 

sail123

I would REALLY want the weekend to myself (like, really, really, really) but I would go. I think it is important to support your husband, even if you don't like his family. 

bhilyer

I would probably go.  I'd be pissed at the beginning, but would likely enjoy myself after we got there.

How long is the trip?  Maybe you could set up a "Cait Day" while you're there - mani & pedi?  You'd still get your alone time.

What does your DH say about you not going?  

If you do go are you going to have spend lots of money to board the dogs? 

JakesBride07

Honestly, if you really can afford it then I would board the dogs and go...even though I really would want to stay home.

However with it being the holiday season and knowing that boarding would be an expense we could not afford, I would be staying put. I would not be stressing about the money just to please DH's family.

I know that's really no help.

OscarQ

Other than being nervous about being that far away from the girls, what do YOU really want to do?  If it were me, I'd stay home.  They can all think my marriage is crumbling, we know the truth.

DH is taking Kevin to see his mom this weekend.  It's 3+ hours by car so nowhere close to a ten hour drive.  But I am relishing the idea of a whole 24 hours to myself.

caitdana

I know it is silly but I guess if it was the middle of the summer, I would not have a problem having a "me weekend"  but  since it is the holidays and it is their first time to visit that side of the family, I think I am stuck going.

urbanflowerpot

sail123:

I would REALLY want the weekend to myself (like, really, really, really) but I would go. I think it is important to support your husband, even if you don't like his family. 

I know this isn't what you want to hear - but this, 100%. Unless (like JakesBride mentioned) you truly can't afford it but then that makes it something you have to bring up with your husband and make the decision united and as a family. I also feel that he should have been the one to tell them - now it does seem like a snubbing. It's Thanksgiving - that's a big deal. It's family. Sometimes I get frustrated with my IL but I have to keep that in and work through it - I would be irrate if my husband acted towards my family the way I sometimes feel like acting.

That said, I know you're tired. I know it from the core of my body because I do not get much alone time - certainly not a day! I'm lucky to get an hour! usually days go by without even that. I would love an afternoon! but not on the holidays.

Do you really want to look back years from now when sleep isn't such a big deal and know you used it as an excuse to stay home on Thanksgiving?

Go, take some pictures, and make the most of it. You're making a huge decision re: memories here.

That's what I would do - and I'd also try to do some damage control by explaining that you're just really tired and it's nothing about the ILs.

kaylaaimee

I vote go too. Plus, you'll probably be anxious about the babies if you're not already super comfortable with this family.

I DO think you should take some time to yourself while you're there, even if you just go to a movie alone or something.

Sorry, I know what it's like to think "I JUST WANT TO SLEEP." DH's work travel means sometimes I am single momming it for weeks at a time and S doesn't sleep all the way thru the night still. I am so sleep deprived sometimes that I honestly could see wanting to be like "YES PLEASE TAKE HER TO THANKSGIVING AND LET ME SLEEP." So I totally feel you. But I'd still go

AlwaysSunny925

I think you should go.  If it weren't Thanksgiving I may say otherwise, but bc of the holiday it's right to go.

Deblondie1

jnatkaniec:

I think you should go.  If it weren't Thanksgiving I may say otherwise, but bc of the holiday it's right to go.

Agree. We had to board our 3 pets lest year so I know how much that sucks. And I KNOW how nice a "me" weekend would be. But like PP and you said, it isn't summer. It's a family holiday. Sorry, I'm not much help.