Scared to ask DH about IVF so I emailed him :(

BeckyP005

I just emailed DH to see if we could try another clinic that has "shared DE" program. Only decided to do IUI's but I feel like I should try IVF. Everything is OOP so I'm nervous what DH's response will be. Ugh...I hate this. I think the answer will be a big fat no from him. Wish me luck!

Mrs.McIrish

I know this isn't funny but when I tried to talk to DH about a shared risk DE programearlier this month, I got blank stares back. Maybe I should email or text him!!

BeckyP005

Mrs.McIrish:

I know this isn't funny but when I tried to talk to DH about a shared risk DE programearlier this month, I got blank stares back. Maybe I should email or text him!!

Haaha maybe you should have. STILL no response from him....must really be thinking about how to break it gently to me.

njpabzy

Hopefully he is thinking about how to make it work GL!

BeckyP005

njpabzy:

Hopefully he is thinking about how to make it work GL!

Your the same age as me. Not getting too personal but are you ever scared on how old we are and wanting a baby?? I am   My mom thinks I'm crazy.

annalisel

njpabzy:

Hopefully he is thinking about how to make it work GL!

Or wants to discuss the happy, hopeful plans in detail :-)

I sympathize though. My DH won't talk about anything beyond the current cycle. As opposed to me who likes to speculate. 

Warriorcandy

you poor darling! it is so frustrating when your man doesn't share your sense of determination or willingness on something so precious as this. 

i go through this with my husband as i would love to be tcc right now but he has said absolutely not until may or perhaps february if my fertility tests come back with challenges. he also wont so a sperm sample until we try. he has said he would be open to IVF or Adoption or donor eggs and sperm and all ways of having a family but i'm sure it is easier now when he feels invinsable than it would be when the financial and logisitcal realities come in to play.

 

one thing that has helped me with my hubby is to be very respectful of his opinions but also allow myself to have my own. so if he does say no i would say something like "i see how you feel and i know it's a lot. this is just a route i would love for us to be open to. to me the benefits outweigh the financial and emotional strain. i understand that you are saying no but please try not to let it be a hard no." or somehting like that. when he knows it is hurting you he might be more open then if he feels pushed. i also think it helps to offer up something. offer to get a second job or sell something you own personally or make some new sacrifices. i know it will require sacrifices from you both but men tend to feel like the financial burdens fall more on their shoulders. it also might help to tell him what the success rates are like and send him some good literature or success stories. perhaps he would even be willing to just meet with someone about it before making a judgment call. 

anyway, time will tell. i know there is a lot to consider and it's hard to know what to fight for and what to approach softly in a marriage. i hope he will soften with time and gentle nudges the way my hubby has.

 

babydust! 

njpabzy

BeckyP005:

njpabzy:

Hopefully he is thinking about how to make it work GL!

Your the same age as me. Not getting too personal but are you ever scared on how old we are and wanting a baby?? I am   My mom thinks I'm crazy.

Most definitely I kick myself all the time for all of the would of, could of, should ofs. Thankfully my friends and family are all supportive but that doesn't stop my doubts. I am going forward with IVF and yet I know my chances are less than 5 % with my age and terrible numbers and that makes me think I really am crazy. Even here on this board, which is safe for most, I feel old and out of place, like everyone is laughing at me for even attempting getting pregnant. I am sure that isn't true, at least I hope it isn't as no one has given me that impression, but these are the things that go through my head. Yet I also know how very very much I want to have a baby and how sad I am when I let the reality of how unlikly that is really set in.

We can support each other in this crazy quest!! GL to you!

brooklynesque

njpabzy:

Even here on this board, which is safe for most, I feel old and out of place, like everyone is laughing at me for even attempting getting pregnant. I am sure that isn't true, at least I hope it isn't as no one has given me that impression, but these are the things that go through my head.

Nobody here is laughing at you!  43 is not ridiculously old to want a baby.

Country Girl in the City

brooklynesque:

njpabzy:

Even here on this board, which is safe for most, I feel old and out of place, like everyone is laughing at me for even attempting getting pregnant. I am sure that isn't true, at least I hope it isn't as no one has given me that impression, but these are the things that go through my head.

Nobody here is laughing at you!  43 is not ridiculously old to want a baby.

There is a guy where I work that had a baby with his wife when she was 50.  They used DE and now he has a 33 year old and a 5 year old.  There is nothing ridiculous about 43.

njpabzy

Thanks Ladies your comments mean a lot as I do feel crazy at times. Please know that I did not mean that anyone here has said anything to make me uncomfortable - its me myself that beats me up. Everyone here has been great and I appreciate it!Sorry for hijacking this post.

BeckyP005

njpabzy:

Thanks Ladies your comments mean a lot as I do feel crazy at times. Please know that I did not mean that anyone here has said anything to make me uncomfortable - its me myself that beats me up. Everyone here has been great and I appreciate it!Sorry for hijacking this post.

No worries about hijacking the post!! I beat myself up my age also