IL update

mssaint

A few weeks/months ago, I posted about how my MIL hasn't met LO yet, and was planning a visit that ended up getting cancelled.

Well, after venting to all of you, I talked to DH and didn't say anything critical at all. Instead, I told him how sad I was for all of us, but especially LO, and suggested that maybe his mom's not being able to visit was because she has limited vacation time and funds and didn't want to travel until she could make it a "big" trip. So I suggested that we pay for her to come out for a weekend, so she wouldn't use up vacation time and wouldn't have to worry about the money. And it could be her Christmas gift.

So now she's coming in two weeks! The rest of his family aren't coming with her but that is tentatively scheduled for the spring, and we are going to look at going out there next spring/summer to see everyone.

I really feel like you all helped me to navigate how to be supportive of DH and to get her out here so that she can be a part of LO's life.   

BirdGirl01

mssaint:

A few weeks/months ago, I posted about how my MIL hasn't met LO yet, and was planning a visit that ended up getting cancelled.

Well, after venting to all of you, I talked to DH and didn't say anything critical at all. Instead, I told him how sad I was for all of us, but especially LO, and suggested that maybe his mom's not being able to visit was because she has limited vacation time and funds and didn't want to travel until she could make it a "big" trip. So I suggested that we pay for her to come out for a weekend, so she wouldn't use up vacation time and wouldn't have to worry about the money. And it could be her Christmas gift.

So now she's coming in two weeks! The rest of his family aren't coming with her but that is tentatively scheduled for the spring, and we are going to look at going out there next spring/summer to see everyone.

I really feel like you all helped me to navigate how to be supportive of DH and to get her out here so that she can be a part of LO's life.   

 

Sofka

I hope it goes well, keep your expectations low and hopefully they will be exceeded

 

vtkgirl77

Two thumbs up. That's great news. I hope the visit goes well.

JKM416

Good for you for broaching it to your DH in a way he responded positively to - and for being willing to put out the money for your LO's sake.

We just bought MIL's train ticket for her to be here in two weekends (perhaps #3 will arrive while she's here), and I really grit my teeth while agreeing to using our funds to pay for it (long story and lots of financial drama).  But like you said, it's for the greater good and the priority should be encouraging the grandparents to be in our kids' lives.  My LOs frequently ask when they'll see Grandma again, or when they're going to her house, and I don't want to discourage their enthusiasm for a relationship with her.  When they get older, they'll interpret things on their own (she lives 3 hours away but we see her two or three times a year)...but for now it's my job to just facilitate as much as possible.  Thanks for the reminder!