2u2 who want more- When do you plan to try for #3+?

BrittKav

I love having my two girls close together. I think we'd like to have 4 kids total, but I'm really open to whatever. If we do have 4, I'd like for #3 and #4 to be 2u2. I'm just torn on when to try again.

On the one hand, I want us all to be like one family...I'm the oldest of six kids, my little sister is only 4 so I've always felt like more of a second mother to her than a sister. While I'm sure that's had its benefits, I don't like that we seem to be different families now that I'm older. I don't like that she has no memories of me living with her, or playing together or having a sisterly relationship. Most of the time she thinks I'm her aunt. Likewise, DH is the youngest of 4 and while his oldest brother isn't that much older (8 years) he still doesn't have many memories of them hanging out or doing things together when he was young. And, like I said before, I really truly love having my kids so close together. 

On the other hand, I'm still young and if we have #3 and #4 in the next couple years, then we'll have lots of time for an potential "surprise" to happen...we use NFP and condoms for BC, which isn't always the most reliable. While I'm technically open to more than 4 kids, I'm not overly thrilled about the idea. DH doesn't want to get a vasectomy until we are both 100% sure we're done (which makes sense). He would be thrilled with a dozen kids, so I don't know when he'll actually decide he wants to get snipped. Also, I want to have time to devote my time and attention to my girls. There are a lot of things I want to do with them, especially traveling, which will be more and more difficult with each new person we add.

 

Sorry, I'm rambling. I'd like to hear what everyone else's plans are... hoping it'll give me a little perspective.  

bethalynn

My kids are 21 months apart. I really love that spacing so far. We are torn in deciding as well. If we decide to have three we will probably try to space #3 2ish years from #2. If we decide to do four we will probably wait until #2 is 3 or 3 1/2 and then have two under two again.

etude de la vie

I plan on taking a break and when DS is 3 I will have my third and space the next one close so ill have 2u2 space and then another 2u2

laura1

We started trying again when DD was a year old.  We got a BFP last month, but I just had a m/c this past weekend.  We will probably start trying again when we are cleared to.  I am getting old, though, so I am not sure how much longer we will try - maybe until DD's second birthday, then we will stop and be happy with our lovely family of 4

vanessaNOV2

Since I had both csections my doc advised me to wait at least 18 months, so ds#2 is now 11 months....i think we will try when ds#2 is at least 2. I do not like being prego though, im just one of those women who likes to do everything myself & doesnt like to ask for help..so I sort of want to get the pregnancy over with but I think it would be easier prego if my boys were a little more self suffienct.

memali26

My girls are 19 months apart and I love it. We might be done with just two, but IF we have #3, we won't start trying until #2 is at least 12 months. I don't want a huge gap, but after 2 GD pregnancies in less than 2 years, I'm not ready to get pregnant that quickly again. The goal would be about 21-22 months apart next time, so we could have a summer baby. And then absolutely be done!

marielovestimothy03

We were hoping to do 2u2 again (for 4 kids) a few years from now but apparently life had other plans ;-) BCP fail = baby #3 being 19-20 months younger than DC2. We're pretty happy though, it's sooner than we wanted and we'll probably just have 3 kids but who knows. We'll see how having 3 in 3 years is and go from there.

kcisthebombdotcom

IF there is a #3, I'd like him/her to be born when DS is 3.5/DD is 2.5. I'd like a break between closely spaced pregnancies but want the kids close enough so they could all play together/share a room without big spacing between siblings. My friend did this spacing with her 3 kids and it worked perfectly. The older 2 could play with each other so she got to rest a ton during her pregnancy, and the transition was easy because the older 2 have each other for entertainment and she can focus on the baby. Plus only 1 in diapers instead of 2-3.

Daisy22

DS1 and DS2 are 15 1/2 months apart, DS2 and baby #3 will be 20 1/2 months apart which I kindof wish they were a litle further apart but I'm really happy. I wanted to wait to get pg until next year but like you said NFP isn't full proof at all. This will be it for us and at my c/s I'll have my tubes tied. Dh keeps joking that he's going to be snipped too so we're double protected

mrsseguin

We always wanted 3 kids, but we're pretty sure we are done with 2.  If we did try for a 3rd, I'd want a larger gap of about 3 years of so.  We have had a hard time adjusting to 2 kids.

etteyam

We plan on having 3 kids and we're probably gonna start TTC when DD2 is a year old. I'm 35, so we're pressed for time.

SaraLynn21

Phew, this thread is making me feel better. DS#1 and DS#2 are only 19 months apart, and I just got the fainest of faint BFP this morning, which would put DS#2 and this baby about 18 months apart, and DS#1 will have just turned 3 when this baby is due. I'm freaking out! We always have wanted at least 3 kids, and I'm over 30 so we didn't want to wait long, but still. Panic mode! Glad I'm not the only one in the "almost" 3U3 boat

Raffes484

DD will be almost 3 years 2 months and DS1 will be 18 months when DS2 arrives. We're done with 3, but if we were going to have 4 I would have had a larger gap and done 2u2 again with #3 and #4.

MammaBear81

2 under 2 works really well for us, the kids get along so well.  I'm not sure how many kids we will have, but I told DH, if we go more than 2 years without having a baby, then we are done.

Telyco

We're gonna have three years between 2&3 if we have another. We have NO help and I want my oldest to be in all day school so I'm not hauling babies around all day. It's not fair to them - esp since we have 10 months of winter in Upstate NY I also am spread a little thin with just two and feel like I couldn't spread myself thinner without making some sacrifices.

IF IF IF we have a 4th I won't do 2wayunder2 like I did with one and two...but probably right around 2 years. That would put me at like 34 and 36 when they are born...so I guess I'd be "advanced maternal age" with the last one

I can see us stopping at 3 though. Things are so much harder now than when my two were babies. Toddlers running in different directions are quite difficult!

JimsBride08

I always wanted 4-5 kiddos, and DH only wanted 2.  That being said, we think we'll go for a 3rd and probably stop then.  We will probably TTC when DD is 3.

runnergirl79

Well, I'm the oldest of 5 kids.  I have twin brothers that are not quite 18 months younger than me, a sister who is almost 5 years younger, and a brother almost 9 1/2 years younger.  I would consider my sister to be the sibling I'm closest to, so I don't see a five year age gap to be overly large between, say, 3 kiddos.  Also, at our current ages, 5 years really doesn't seem that large of a gap.

That being said, if my husband & I have another little one, I'd like there to be a similar age gap (just around 2 years) between our third and fourth.  I personally would prefer a gap no larger than 3 years.  I'm also 32, so that might have a little something to do with it.

 GL with whatever you choose!

sometimesalwayschaotic

We practice NFP also.  We had planned on spacing our first two a little farther apart but since we have no self control they are quite close together.  I would like to say that the 2nd and 3rd will be at least 18 months apart but I know we have no self control and we could very well get pregnant quickly again.  My one saving grace would be if my fertility doesn't come back for a larger amount of time this time.

Katefor4

DD #1 (turned 5 in August)

DD #2 (will turn 4 in Dec-16 months apart)

DS (18 months-will be 22 months when #4 arrives)

 

Love my kids spacing but leaves for some CRAZY day 

earthboundmisfit

done at 3 so I want them all fairly close in age. I would like a 1.5-2.5yr age gap between #2 and #3 but we'll see if that pans out. If we were having a #4 I would wait a while longer [until DD2 was at least 2] and then do 2u2 again

moonfaerie

Our first two are 14 months apart. #2 and #3 will be about 18 months apart, if all goes well. I think that's it for us.

It was important to me to have the kids close together, both to get being pregnant out of the way, and because me two sisters are 15 months younger and 16 months older than I am. it was so much fun to grow up as part of 3u3. DH, on the other, has three brothers that are between 5 and 13 years away from him. They are not that close which might be partly because they are male, but my hope for my kids is that they'll have great sibling relationships like I have with my sisters.

FWIW my MIL says now after seeing how my two interact with each other, that she wishes she had her kids closer together so they could grow up together too.

CaitlinJ22

I got the bug when DD was around 9 months to have another, but I didnt want them all under 3. I also have no family around and a husband who is gone a lot. We decided that we wanted #3 btwn 2-2.5 years apart from DD. So we TTC and got pg the first month. So #3 has the same due date as DD but two years later. We will have 3 under 3.5, which isnt that much different from 3 u 3, but I think it works nice that DD will be 2 instead of 18 months like the first time. I loved 18 months apart, but now that DD is almost 17 months I am SO glad I am not having another in the next month. Also I didnt want to BF while pg again, it was hard on me and I wanted to give her time, she was 14 months when we weaned and I got pg 6 weeks later. 

I have to say, she is a great sleeper, but she still woke on occasion until 13 or so months so I am glad with my m/s that I dont have to get up at night with her unless she is sick. With DS he was so little that I was up a lot and it made the m/s worse.

We think we want 4, but we'll see after #3. If we have #4 it'll be the same difference I think, no more than 2.5 or so years from #3. Im 28 so I have time.  

Mama Jan

My boys are 17mo apart and we were planning to do 2u2 again when DS2 was towards the end of preschool.  He won't even be IN preschool when DS3 is born.... oops!  

I'm not sure what we'll do now.  I really want to have 2u2 again (for their sakes, not mine - ha!).  But this pregnancy has been so hard on my body I don't know if I want to do it again.  That and I don't know if I can handle four kids under 5? or 6.

rachoochoo2

Well the second half of my 2U2 hasn't arried yet so this is all subject to change but we have decided that if we do not feel like our family is complete after our upcoming baby, then we will wait until she is at least 2 to try again that way she will be almost 3 when another baby would arrive.

mel72

I actually go back and forth (a lot) I think b/c of our circumstances.  Do I want a 3rd/can I handle a 3rd.  Not sure why I even ponder it since DH is 100% done.  The problem - it took us 29 cycles including 10 treatment cycles, 3 IVF's and two losses to conceive DS1.  DS2 only took four (STILL SHOCKED) cycles.  I will be 39 in less than two weeks so if we were to try then it would have to be now and DH is not going for it.  Plus it would mean bigger house, new car, etc.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

I really like the spacing between DD1 and DD2 (they are a little under 22 months apart), so if we are to have another, I'd aim for something similar. I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, but I want to be over and done with having babies sooner rather than later. So yeah. IF there is a 3rd, we'll try and make it so #2 and #3 are about 2u2. 

LJR 84

I think we will probably start trying for #3 when ds is one...maybe closer to 15 months. I'd like a two year gap. I think we will be done after that!

TheMutleys

I am not due until March.  These two will be 18 months apart. 

I will be starting a 2-year nursing program in the fall.  We will probably be waiting until I graduate from that before trying again.  That would put over 2 years between DS2 and TTC... and potentially give us a 3 year gap.  After our 3rd, we'll probably try for another set of 2u2.  We hope to have at least 4 kiddos. 

If I wasn't doing the nursing program, we would aim to have all of our kids 18-24 months apart.  

ladysaceb

My boys are 14 months apart.  DS1 turned 2 in September, DS2 will be 1 next Saturday.  

I have an appointment next Thursday to have my implanon removed and we will begin actively TTC #3.  We conceived the first cycle with both boys so my OB doesn't think it will take long for #3.  

completelyundefinable

I'm 99.997% positive that I'm done after this, but if for some reason we decide to have one more than I would want to wait until #2 is at least three.

PhilsWife07

I'm torn too. DS1 and DS2 are almost exactly two years apart. I can't decide If I want a similar spacing for the third or to wait until DS2's second birthday to TTC #3.