Confused and Unsure

orriskitten

My original plan was to give birth in a free standing birthing center. However, after an early diagnosis of GD, that is no longer an option. They only work with low-risk pregnancies. Here is a slightly long back story:

2 years ago this week, my mom passed away very suddenly. It was 1 week after a doctors appointment in which a specialist said everything was fine and she was not at risk of anything life threatening. This happening heightened my pre-existing white coat syndrome and fear of needles to the point of my blood pressure being sky high when I so much as walk into a doctor's office. This put major stress on me working with the birthing center because they don't allow you to deliver there if you have high blood pressure.I got an at home bp cuff and was recording it every day and things were fine- so long as I wasn't at the doctor.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I went in to the midwives for a yeast infection. There was sugar in the dipstick reading and so they did the glucose 1 hr test and I failed miserably (had only eaten a corn muffin and sugary drink prior as well, so my number was 290). So miserably that no one would risk doing the 3 hour test. I found this out when I got a call from a new doctor's office with a name I'd never heard confirming my appointment that I never made. I freaked out and found out that the birthing center had transferred my case and made an appointment without me knowing.

I ended up going to another ob who I happen to like quite a bit. he is very warm, reassuring and has taken some of the fear away from facing pregnancy in a high risk situation. I went to a perinatologist and had a horrible experience where without knowing enough information, he wanted to put me on insulin immediately. He was very aggressive towards me and tried to intimidate me and treat me as if I was stupid. I refused treatment at the time (his staff was at odds with him- they wanted to see my numbers for at least a week before deciding on anything given that I had a YI and a bad cough at the time) thankfully because had I gone on insulin I would have been dramatically low. My numbers have been normal to a little high, nothing that can't be controlled by diet. On top of it all, I have the flu now.

Now, my stepmom is very happy I am with a "real" doctor (her words) and is a huge proponent of an epidural and "having fun" while giving birth. A dear friend and mentor of mine is as alternative as they come and is kind of shoving info down my throat about other doctors and midwives and doing things naturally and not being in an "evil" hospital.This is basically the only input I have been getting from anyone.

I grew up hearing mostly horror stories of how painful birth is. I was working with a birth center to try to alleviate the white coat syndrome, but since thats out the door, I just don't know what to do any more. I have no instinct inside of me telling me what I should do and sooo many conflicting outside resources. I know no one can tell me what I should do, but did any of you face something like this? How did you decide? I feel like I am choking on information and both sides just sound so right. On top of it, so many of my recent experiences with new doctors have been so bad that I am scared to meet another one. It is stressful enough to think that because of the GD they now want me to see a new cardiologist, a nefarologist and an eye doctor. I just feel broken and un-fixable with no clear course in my head on what to do.

How did you decide to have a natural birth? Were you always sure? Did you ever want an epidural? Can they give me one now so I don't have to feel this way now? lol Any input would be appreciated.

kaeti_su

I was always sure that I wanted to go without pain medication and with as few interventions as possible. Never during the birthing process did I want an epidural (though there was a point where I thought to myself that if I was only a few cms dilated, I might have to get one-- which is when I learned I was 9 cm). To be fair, I had a very short labor.

If I were you, I would think about why you wanted a natural birth in the first place and let that guide you here. One of the biggest reasons for me to go med-free was because I wanted to be able to move around in order to get the baby into a position and help move her down. FWIW, I had my baby in a hospital, and planned to do so all along.

This is your decision, not anyone else's. Regardless of what you decide, I really encourage you to listen to some pregnancy/birth affirmations. I used the ones that came with my Hypnobabies home study course, and I really credit it for making me unafraid.

I'm a little unclear as to whether or not you're definitely having your baby at the hospital, but if you are, I would recommend doing an L&D tour. Make sure you take time to figure out where the restrooms are, where the nurses stations are, where they keep the coffee and snacks-- not that you'll be using them, but just so that you can make the place familiar to you so that it's less of a scary place. 

Hang in there. This must be a really hard time of year for you, and I'm sure it's even more emotionally charged now that you're becoming a mother. Take care of yourself.

chicsub

I'm sorry, you sound very overwhelmed and not very supported by your providers.  I had GD for my VBAC and went med-free in an alternative birth center at a hospital with midwives.  I'm obviously not a doctor, but I'm confused as to why they want to send you to all these specialists if everything is being controlled by diet?  I know sometimes docs will bunch all types of GD patients together, even though science doesn't back that treatment.  Any chance you could meet with another OB or even a midwife that is part of an OB practice?  I wasn't considered high risk and I know many GD patients that weren't considered high risk either.  Of course things could change down the road, but diet-controlled GD is not the same as someone who needs to be on insulin.  Did they run your A1C? 

Here is a site I used a lot during my pregnancy: 

https://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/gd/gd_index.html

 

MawrtyrB

Woah, Take a deep breath. It's going to be ok. Finding a doctor or midwife that you are comfortable with is absolutely critical. Do it now before they won't accept transfers. Hospital births aren't the end of the world but it greatly depends on which hospital. I also suggest that you get a doula so you have someone one your side and someone you can vent to. They are invaluable, especially in a hospital setting where you can get bullied very easily.

I did the standard baby factory hospital with my first and absolutely hated the expereince. But with a lot of stubborn persistance and a thankfully quick L&D, I had a natural birth. For the next one, which ended up being twins, we switched to a midwife. Had the option of delivering at a different standard hospital with NICU or a special natural friendly one further away. As I was over 38 weeks and having no problems except GD, we opted for the natural friendly one. I did a pit induction for reasons that don't matter here but otherwise had a great natural birth experience. They had recently built a new regional hospital nearby this facility, so all regular maternity transferred there. What remained in this small hospital was a 5 room maternity suite with C-section ability but operated essentially as a birth center inside a hospital. It was fabulous.

They make alot of fuss over the GD. As long as you can get it under control, either with diet changes or meds/insulin, there's no reason you can't still have a natural brith.

Kitttkattt

I have no advice, other than the best thing you can do is keep your blood glucose levels in tight control. Test often, and eat often.

cecilyandgautam

I'm really sorry about your mom & negative experiences with Doctors. I have some Dr aversions myself but it sounds like yours is on more severe. Does your work offer low-cost counseling? It might be worth talking these anxieties out with some one because childbirth can be full of unknowns and keeping calm during as much as of it as you can will definitely help you & the baby have a healthier, happier experience.

In terms of your prenatal care, I'd recommend taking charge. If you don't like the practice you were transferred to, pick a different one. Since you hadn't eaten properly for your 1 hour test, I would request a redo. It was kinda unfair for them to give it to you with no warning and come up with a diagnosis based on only that - my practice gave me a handout on how to eat the day of the test & I followed it to a T. You need to know whether you have GD or not and if you do, then you need proper care.

Is your husband available to do some research on this with you & to attend your appts with you? The more prepared the two of you are, the greater power you'll have to ask for the care you want. Also, it's nice to have your husband there to back you up if you start to get overwhelmed with anxiety. After a few appointments like this, a lot of your anxieties should be reduced since you'll know that your medical team is on your side and that your husband has your back and that nothing will be done to you against your wishes.

Good luck! I hope this helps.