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Single Parents
Once your child becomes mobile
How do you deal with grocery transport? Right now I take him into the house first and put him in pack n play, jumparoo, etc. and then bring in the groceries. I know once he is much older he can "help". But what about that time that he can crawl, walk unsteadily, etc? He can't "help" and he won't be happy in pack n play, jumparoo type things then. I can see him already trying to scoot and I have a feeling crawling is coming sooner rather than later.
Any advice?
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Re: Once your child becomes mobile
It depends on ds's mood. Often I have to carry him on my side with one arm and go back and forth carrying a bag at a time with my free arm if I can't occupy him with toys.
I sometimes do things differently when it comes to watching my son because I can't hear so I do not want him roaming around where I can't see him.
When DS was semi-mobile, he went into the PnP, no matter if he was screaming about it or not. Three minutes of yelling while I bring in groceries won't kill him. Once he got to be more mobile (walking, but unsteady) I would put him in the living room which is 100% child-proofed and (at the time) was gated from the rest of the house. He would be content playing with his toys while I brought the groceries in.
Now that he's a toddler, he'll stand in the kitchen at the back door (all glass) and watch me bring the groceries in. I'm the kind of person that will carry in 10 bags so I only have to take one or two trips, so it's not a big deal.
You have to get your groceries in. Its not mother fuckingrocket science who you are, FFS.
Well I care very much if my child is unhappy. Sometimes it can't be helped, but if there is a way to make it easier on him I'd prefer it, which is why I asked if someone had come up with a better solution.
And it's your mistake for thinking I was trying to create a disguise about it. I said exactly who I was and why I changed my name already. So nice call out fail.
exactly this
Sounds like a difference in parenting styles to me. I honestly don't care if my child is unhappy, as long as I know that it is the right thing for him. Example: P grabbed a sucker from his Halloween bag yesterday morning and proceeded to unwrap it and begin eating away. Given that it was 6:30am I promptly took it from his hot little hands and put the bag up. He proceeded to cry, scream, and meltdown and I just ignored him.
Do yourself and your child a favor and don't be one of those people who parents out of guilt. I feel like a lot of single mothers do this because they feel badly for their children that they don't have a father figure in their life. Really, it's doing them no favors (btw, I'm not necessarily referring to the original question, but the comment about wanting to make your child happy all the time).
Sometimes I'll leave DD in the car in her carseat while I carry things in. Otherwise I put her in the living room which is gated off and child proofed. Sometimes she cries, but it's not going to kill her to cry and I can't not grocery shop.
As a single parent, there are times when you're going to have to do something while LO is crying and not happy (bringing in groceries, showering, cooking, etc). But since you don't have the luxury of having someone else to help out, you do what you have to do and let LO cry for a little bit.
I understand that obviously he can't be happy all the time. We are working on sleeping issues right now, and he gets pissed off at 5:30 am when I won't get him from his crib. He has to stay in there until 6:00 am and learn he can't go to sleep and wake up whenever he wants. I don't like listening to him fuss, and I don't go back to sleep or anything, either, but I know eventually he'll get it and be happier because he's on a schedule. And of course I wouldn't let him have candy in the morning, either. So yes, there are times he'll be unhappy and it's difficult, but it bothers me and I think that's natural.
Sometimes he gets mad when he has to wait for me in the shower, too (he sits in a bouncy seat in the bathroom with me) or when he's tired of being in the car. But I meant I care that he's unhappy. I try to lessen his angry feelings by talking to him, acknowledging he's upset, but telling him he'll have to wait until Mommy is clean, or we're almost where we are going, etc. I know he doesn't understand what I'm saying, but I think it makes us both feel better.
So I know I can chuck him somewhere when I'm bringing in the groceries, but I think he would prefer being in a gated room vs. being in the PnP. So I'm glad someone suggested that. And if I can do something like that in which he will be happier then that makes me happier, too. Of course there are no perfect solutions, but there are ways to make it easier, and that's what I was looking for.
I'm sorry for your loss, Dobalina. But say what you will about me, I'm a good parent to my child. You may be in the right to begrudge a child to someone who smokes crack during their pregnancy, or neglects their child after birth, etc. but I do deserve my son and realize I am lucky to have him.
Again, I am sorry for your loss.