Sharing nighttime duties

ldoo

I have this thought in my head that if DH and I end it, he could come to my house after work each day and spend time with the kids, help with their dinner and help put them to bed. Then go home. I feel like he might actually want to do that, so the girls have some semblance of normalcy. They're so young (19mo and 3yo).

Is this crazy? Has anyone done something similar?

PrettyInPearls23

Every single night? No. That's not a good idea. He will be your XH for a reason -- it's inappropriate for him to be in your house with your children every single night.

For kids that age, maybe once or twice a week for an evening visit, and then generally every other weekend (one overnight). The EOW would increase to two overnights as they get older.

ldoo

Thanks for that advice. I really have no clue about any of this.

And I don't want to cut him out of their lives. But I'm stingy. I don't wanna share.

PrettyInPearls23

ldoo:

Thanks for that advice. I really have no clue about any of this.

And I don't want to cut him out of their lives. But I'm stingy. I don't wanna share.

That's probably the most difficult thing in the beginning when it comes to co-parenting. The first few weekends DS was with XH, I would cry when he left. Now, I look forward to my weekends when I don't have to be a mom, and I can be a normal adult. I know that DS is bonding with his father during that time and it gives me the chance to recharge and get ready to take on another 2 weeks of single parenting.

ldoo

PrettyInPearls23:

ldoo:

Thanks for that advice. I really have no clue about any of this.

And I don't want to cut him out of their lives. But I'm stingy. I don't wanna share.

That's probably the most difficult thing in the beginning when it comes to co-parenting. The first few weekends DS was with XH, I would cry when he left. Now, I look forward to my weekends when I don't have to be a mom, and I can be a normal adult. I know that DS is bonding with his father during that time and it gives me the chance to recharge and get ready to take on another 2 weeks of single parenting.

Yeah, I'm hoping that's the same for me. Are you a SAHM? I work, so I already miss so much of them. But, I suppose with divorce, you can't have everything. You just opt for what is best in the long run, which for us is not being in a destructive relationship that puts our children's mental health at risk.

achase123

This might work out fine for awhile but what about when you begin dating.  AWKWARD.

PrettyInPearls23

ldoo:

PrettyInPearls23:

ldoo:

Thanks for that advice. I really have no clue about any of this.

And I don't want to cut him out of their lives. But I'm stingy. I don't wanna share.

That's probably the most difficult thing in the beginning when it comes to co-parenting. The first few weekends DS was with XH, I would cry when he left. Now, I look forward to my weekends when I don't have to be a mom, and I can be a normal adult. I know that DS is bonding with his father during that time and it gives me the chance to recharge and get ready to take on another 2 weeks of single parenting.

Yeah, I'm hoping that's the same for me. Are you a SAHM? I work, so I already miss so much of them. But, I suppose with divorce, you can't have everything. You just opt for what is best in the long run, which for us is not being in a destructive relationship that puts our children's mental health at risk.

No, I work full time M-F 8am-5pm. It's super tough only having 2 hours with DS in th evening before he's in bed. But I've just learned to make the most of it -- anything that can wait until after he's in bed (dishes, cleaning, etc.) waits. I use the time in the evenings to focus 100% on him.

ldoo

PrettyInPearls23:

ldoo:

PrettyInPearls23:

ldoo:

Thanks for that advice. I really have no clue about any of this.

And I don't want to cut him out of their lives. But I'm stingy. I don't wanna share.

That's probably the most difficult thing in the beginning when it comes to co-parenting. The first few weekends DS was with XH, I would cry when he left. Now, I look forward to my weekends when I don't have to be a mom, and I can be a normal adult. I know that DS is bonding with his father during that time and it gives me the chance to recharge and get ready to take on another 2 weeks of single parenting.

Yeah, I'm hoping that's the same for me. Are you a SAHM? I work, so I already miss so much of them. But, I suppose with divorce, you can't have everything. You just opt for what is best in the long run, which for us is not being in a destructive relationship that puts our children's mental health at risk.

No, I work full time M-F 8am-5pm. It's super tough only having 2 hours with DS in th evening before he's in bed. But I've just learned to make the most of it -- anything that can wait until after he's in bed (dishes, cleaning, etc.) waits. I use the time in the evenings to focus 100% on him.

That's what I do now, too. Of course, that pisses DH off to no end, cause it's like every second of my time has to include cleaning up the messes the kids make. I prefer to do that after they're in bed.

ldoo

achase123:

This might work out fine for awhile but what about when you begin dating.  AWKWARD.

Ha! Well, my kids are in bed by 7:30. But I get your point. (Although I have no interest in dating ever!)