How to ask someone to be a godparent?

MeggyO

So, DH and I have decided that we would like his sister and her husband to be baby's godparents. We're not particularly religious, so it has very little to do with "traditional" godparent roles. We just want them to be the people baby will live with if anything, God forbid, happens to the both of us. Baby will have a trust with the money from our life insurance (a pretty big chunk of change), so supporting her financially will not be an issue. SIL is about our age and is planning on starting her family pretty soon, she also shares our values regarding child-rearing and religious upbringing. Not to mention that I think she and her husband will be great parents.

So...I am going to see SIL this weekend. DH and I thought it would be a good time to ask her. How do I do that? I don't want to spring it on her or anything. What would you do? How did you ask someone to be your child's godparent? 

tri_bride05

Our children don't have Godparents as we are not religous, but we do have family members/friends that are willing to raise our children should anything happen to us. When we put together our will/trust our attorney recommended having 3 sets just in case. So we asked my cousin (and her husband) and my two closest girlfriends (and their DHs) as back-ups. I just picked a time when it was just me and my cousin/friend, let them know we were doing some planning and that we hoped that they would be willing to be guardians for our children as we felt their parenting styles/values were similar to our own (and all also have children similar in age to ours). All were very touched that we'd asked them.

secretkeeper321

Godparents and guardians aren't really the same thing....they can be the same people if you wish. Does this mean that your SIL and BIL will be the Godparents for all your children (if you have more than one)? Guardianship should be laid out in your trust, as even that is just a recommendation to the courts of your wishes. Godparents are for spiritual upbringing, whatever that means to you and your DH and family.

Either way, I'd just ask her when you two or four are alone. Letting them know how much this means to you and your DH and what your expectations are.

Much like PP our trust outlines various people in case our first choice is unable to care for H and future siblings. The trust also outlines who will manage the money for H until he comes of age. That way the raising of kiddos and the financial management of the trust are not all on one person.

SJBride05

secretkeeper321:

Godparents and guardians aren't really the same thing....they can be the same people if you wish. Does this mean that your SIL and BIL will be the Godparents for all your children (if you have more than one)? Guardianship should be laid out in your trust, as even that is just a recommendation to the courts of your wishes. Godparents are for spiritual upbringing, whatever that means to you and your DH and family.

Ditto this...

LoLoPanda

When DH and I asked my sister and BIL to be S's godparents, we asked them at Christmastime because that was the only time we'd see them until the shower. So we pulled them aside when things were quiet and said basically "We love you, and if you'd like, we'd love for you both to be Scarlett's godparents". I'm sure you'll do fine, and your SIL will be happy to accept.