Is this what all holidays will feel like?

lovemymaddy

I'm in bad/sad mood this morning. I can't stop thinking that Timmy should be here celebrating his first Halloween with us. He should be all dressed up in some cute little pumpkin costume and I should be worried about how cold it'll be when we go trick or treating tonight. Instead I spent last night decorating his pumpkin in remembrance of him because he's not here.    Everyone keeps saying "Happy Halloween." Ha. Yeah right. It just sucks.  I can only imagine how Thanksgiving and Christmas will be...  Is this how all of the holidays will feel?

kate6267

Ithink this is how it will all feel... it hurts holidays are hard... I wanted to dress Emily up as a little baby dragon or kitty or something adorable.... everything would be so much more fun if she were around.

{{{HUGS}}}} Hang in there today.

magdalina.h

Yes. The mornings were the worst for me because I get up before MH and I would just sit and cry thinking how Aidan should be here with us. As the days went on, it got better because I was occupied with other things.

krysiahamaty

I can't imagine thanksgiving and christmas. But yes, today I woke up and felt a heaviness because I was so excited to dress Jack up and have him with me today. I hate Halloween now.

Hugs to all today. 

LoveOfMikesLife

I could have wrote your post word for word! I WAS doing ok with all this but as each day gets closer to the major holidays I have a harder time keeping it together (( hugs))

Heatherhah

Wow I could have wrote this post I am typing asI am crying I feel the same way. This is my favorite holiday and now I feel like I just want to to be over!!

Heather

dandywarhol

I plan on keeping the lights out and the door shut.  I don't want to see any child in costume and I don't want to think about what Sylvie would look or sound like running door to door.  The sparkle in her eye when we came home and went through her loot.  It is too painful. 

johnnys june

Yes, this is how it will feel.  But I agree with others, the morning of or even the night before (especially Christmas) is the worst.  I tried to focus on positive ways to incorporate Logan.  You just have to take it one moment at a time.  And quite literally "find" the "little" things to celebrate on the holidays because they never seem quite as "big" and "happy" as they were before.

mrsmacias2008

Holidays were horrible for us. I didn't do anything that year for thanksgiving and Christmas was whatever to us.

DesiraeSunshine

I wasn't expecting today to be so hard and emotional. This really fvcking sucks ass. I don't know how I am going to handle the major holidays.

roxyttandme

It will be pretty much the same. I find the time leading up to the holidays/milestones are tougher than the actual day. (((hugs)))

mrsnapaluch

I really HATE HATE HATE today. I wish all of us could get together IRL and have a "Hate the Holidays" party.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

mdluv21

I am a mess today. I just want a child so freaking bad!  Facebook is def. not a good place for me to be today.

pandabearlover

I know my situation is different because I have my daughters, but my therapist has worked with me to focus on what I have instead of what I don't. Today I really enjoyed my oldest DD's Halloween party at school and I am looking forward to trick or treating with them.

Sometimes I do think about how Quincy should be here, but I just try to bring the focus back to my girls.  I don't think Thanksgiving will be too tough, especially since we are going to a fancy restaurant for brunch that the girls will love because the walls are an aquarium.  I think Christmas and seeing all the baby's first Christmas ornaments will be tough.

 

Carolee

The holidays are definitey hard.  They make me feel that emptiness more than on other days.

butterfly843

I used to love the holidays, but since I lost my twins I don't enjoy them anymore. The first Christmas after my loss I didn't even decorate, the next year I forced myself and went overboard in decorating. This year I am missing a fourth baby who should be here just in time for Christmas if it wasn't for my ectopic. I would prefer to just skip straight to January 2nd (not the first because that is dh's bday and every year I feel bad that I still haven't been able to give him a baby).

hewinked

Our first major holiday without Adam was Easter.  And yes, it was horrible.  Mother's Day was even worse.  But before that was Valentine's Day, which I think is silly, but even that day hurt.  Yesterday, I woke up in a funk.  Last year I was 38 weeks pregnant with Adam, and I kept thinking of all our plans we had for this year.  I was ok yesterday, but I don't think I'll be ok with Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I'm really not looking forward to them.