For the bfing squeamish (LIP)

KatieB19

I thought you ladies would like this

https://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2011/07/07/how-to-do-discrete-breastfeeding/ 

Harper'smom

Haha it took me way too long to get this :-)

jmayamama

Hahaha!!

lanie30

If someone could explain to me how nurse ins and hats like this help the cause, I'd be supremely grateful.

KatieB19

lanie30:

If someone could explain to me how nurse ins and hats like this help the cause, I'd be supremely grateful.

My understanding is that nurse ins bring awareness that bfing is something that is done, should not be shunned, and is more common than perhaps is known.

The hats I think are just hilarious and in-your-face to people who are unreasonably uncomfortable.  Like my FIL.

Both I think are like a big FU to people who put down public bfing.

lanie30

KatieB19:

lanie30:

If someone could explain to me how nurse ins and hats like this help the cause, I'd be supremely grateful.

My understanding is that nurse ins bring awareness that bfing is something that is done, should not be shunned, and is more common than perhaps is known.

The hats I think are just hilarious and in-your-face to people who are unreasonably uncomfortable.  Like my FIL.

Both I think are like a big FU to people who put down public bfing.

I think both are a big tasteless boob fest and irritate me greatly. I want to nurse my child where I want, when I want, in a way that makes me & my child comfortable and also respects others. I want others to believe most nursing women want the same. I don't want to tell anyone "FU" for being uncomfortable around me. I just want a quiet place to nurse. Perhaps that's why I find these, and nurse ins so utterly contrary to the cause.

Birdies08

lanie30:

KatieB19:

lanie30:

If someone could explain to me how nurse ins and hats like this help the cause, I'd be supremely grateful.

My understanding is that nurse ins bring awareness that bfing is something that is done, should not be shunned, and is more common than perhaps is known.

The hats I think are just hilarious and in-your-face to people who are unreasonably uncomfortable.  Like my FIL.

Both I think are like a big FU to people who put down public bfing.

I think both are a big tasteless boob fest and irritate me greatly. I want to nurse my child where I want, when I want, in a way that makes me & my child comfortable and also respects others. I want others to believe most nursing women want the same. I don't want to tell anyone "FU" for being uncomfortable around me. I just want a quiet place to nurse. Perhaps that's why I find these, and nurse ins so utterly contrary to the cause.

You say tasteless boob fest like it's a bad thing...

If "the cause" means having more quiet and comfy places to nurse available, then, no, this doesn't help. If "the cause" is to try and force people to untwist their panties about breasts and breastfeeding, then I do think it helps. I'm pro both causes, BTW. 

KatieB19

lanie30:

KatieB19:

lanie30:

If someone could explain to me how nurse ins and hats like this help the cause, I'd be supremely grateful.

My understanding is that nurse ins bring awareness that bfing is something that is done, should not be shunned, and is more common than perhaps is known.

The hats I think are just hilarious and in-your-face to people who are unreasonably uncomfortable.  Like my FIL.

Both I think are like a big FU to people who put down public bfing.

I think both are a big tasteless boob fest and irritate me greatly. I want to nurse my child where I want, when I want, in a way that makes me & my child comfortable and also respects others. I want others to believe most nursing women want the same. I don't want to tell anyone "FU" for being uncomfortable around me. I just want a quiet place to nurse. Perhaps that's why I find these, and nurse ins so utterly contrary to the cause.

Ok I just reread what I wrote.  I didn't mean "fu" to people for being uncomfortable.  I meant people who put down public bfing, which is different.  I was specifically thinking of my family members when I said the "unreasonable uncomfortable" thing; I didn't intend to imply strangers.  It's a running joke in my family that my FIL is skeeved out by my bfing DS.  He's fine with it and everything, but cannot bring himself to be in the same room as me.  Everyone -- including him -- would get a kick out of these hats.

For the record, I try to be private and discreet when NIP; I don't like attention drawn to myself at all.  I've also never been negatively approached, so I'm not sure how I'd react.

But I still think the hats are funny.  I mean, come on, they're boobies to cover your boobies

KatieB19

Birdies08:

lanie30:

KatieB19:

lanie30:

If someone could explain to me how nurse ins and hats like this help the cause, I'd be supremely grateful.

My understanding is that nurse ins bring awareness that bfing is something that is done, should not be shunned, and is more common than perhaps is known.

The hats I think are just hilarious and in-your-face to people who are unreasonably uncomfortable.  Like my FIL.

Both I think are like a big FU to people who put down public bfing.

I think both are a big tasteless boob fest and irritate me greatly. I want to nurse my child where I want, when I want, in a way that makes me & my child comfortable and also respects others. I want others to believe most nursing women want the same. I don't want to tell anyone "FU" for being uncomfortable around me. I just want a quiet place to nurse. Perhaps that's why I find these, and nurse ins so utterly contrary to the cause.

You say tasteless boob fest like it's a bad thing...

If "the cause" means having more quiet and comfy places to nurse available, then, no, this doesn't help. If "the cause" is to try and force people to untwist their panties about breasts and breastfeeding, then I do think it helps. I'm pro both causes, BTW. 

Very well said.

lanie30

Birdies08:

lanie30:

KatieB19:

lanie30:

If someone could explain to me how nurse ins and hats like this help the cause, I'd be supremely grateful.

My understanding is that nurse ins bring awareness that bfing is something that is done, should not be shunned, and is more common than perhaps is known.

The hats I think are just hilarious and in-your-face to people who are unreasonably uncomfortable.  Like my FIL.

Both I think are like a big FU to people who put down public bfing.

I think both are a big tasteless boob fest and irritate me greatly. I want to nurse my child where I want, when I want, in a way that makes me & my child comfortable and also respects others. I want others to believe most nursing women want the same. I don't want to tell anyone "FU" for being uncomfortable around me. I just want a quiet place to nurse. Perhaps that's why I find these, and nurse ins so utterly contrary to the cause.

You say tasteless boob fest like it's a bad thing...

If "the cause" means having more quiet and comfy places to nurse available, then, no, this doesn't help. If "the cause" is to try and force people to untwist their panties about breasts and breastfeeding, then I do think it helps. I'm pro both causes, BTW. 

I don't think we make advancements for women by being big old boobie waving weirdos. I think we make advancements for women, by being respectful and educating people on its importance. And I find 0 respect/education available in those hats.

Birdies08

lanie30:

I don't think we make advancements for women by being big old boobie waving weirdos. I think we make advancements for women, by being respectful and educating people on its importance. And I find 0 respect/education available in those hats.

I get what you're saying, but for me things like this are more about exposure. The more breastfeeding you see, the less weird it is.

Plus, you can't really get into a respectful, educational dialogue with every passerby. You can, however, shake some old boobs at them.

::shimmies::  

lanie30

Birdies08:

lanie30:

I don't think we make advancements for women by being big old boobie waving weirdos. I think we make advancements for women, by being respectful and educating people on its importance. And I find 0 respect/education available in those hats.

I get what you're saying, but for me things like this are more about exposure. The more breastfeeding you see, the less weird it is.

Plus, you can't really get into a respectful, educational dialogue with every passerby. You can, however, shake some old boobs at them.

::shimmies::  

I live in an exceptionally breastfeeding friendly city. There was a nurse in at a local festival because it had a beautiful fan filled/recliner filled/cold water filled breastfeeding tent in the middle of it. Change tables, reclining seats, lactation consultants on site. (this is at all city events) and these boobie wavers felt like it was forcing women to hide. So there they were tossing their titties around in front of all the drunk carnies. Dude, to each your own but this seems completely out of touch to me. 

I also live in a city where people's religious beliefs are, for the most part, far different than mine. we have a lot of covered women and me being old boobie waver  or wearing one of those hats would be disrespectful, it would cause really unfortunate opinions of breastfeeding, which unfortunately, undoes a lot of good work that women have been doing.

Nurse ins cause a general distaste of breastfeeding for me and a lot of others. I think that's a very unfortunate outcome for something that is supposed to be promoting breastfeeding as a natural act that can be done with discretion anywhere.

Birdies08

lanie30:

Birdies08:

lanie30:

I don't think we make advancements for women by being big old boobie waving weirdos. I think we make advancements for women, by being respectful and educating people on its importance. And I find 0 respect/education available in those hats.

I get what you're saying, but for me things like this are more about exposure. The more breastfeeding you see, the less weird it is.

Plus, you can't really get into a respectful, educational dialogue with every passerby. You can, however, shake some old boobs at them.

::shimmies::  

I live in an exceptionally breastfeeding friendly city. There was a nurse in at a local festival because it had a beautiful fan filled/recliner filled/cold water filled breastfeeding tent in the middle of it. Change tables, reclining seats, lactation consultants on site. (this is at all city events) and these boobie wavers felt like it was forcing women to hide. So there they were tossing their titties around in front of all the drunk carnies. Dude, to each your own but this seems completely out of touch to me.

I also live in a city where people's religious beliefs are, for the most part, far different than mine. we have a lot of covered women and me being old boobie waver  or wearing one of those hats would be disrespectful, it would cause really unfortunate opinions of breastfeeding, which unfortunately, undoes a lot of good work that women have been doing.

Nurse ins cause a general distaste of breastfeeding for me and a lot of others. I think that's a very unfortunate outcome for something that is supposed to be promoting breastfeeding as a natural act that can be done with discretion anywhere.

W.T.F.

I don't know if I find it more unbelievable that your city provides this amazing service or that someone had the audacity to get pissed off by it.

My experience is a different one. I almost never see other mothers NIP, so I guess I felt like a big boobie waver because I'll whip one out when LO is hungry. I have little to no modesty, so I don't really care where or when this happens to be, but BFing is not a spectator sport to me either. If there were a quite, comfy, secluded place to nurse everywhere I went in public, I would be pretty sure I died and went to heaven. Especially if it came with water. Sometimes I take a less comfy/secluded option so I don't miss out on the socializing I went out to do in the first place, but I would say 80% of the time, I just want that tent you described. 

Since I don't have an awesome breastfeeding haven all the time, I would be royally pissed if I got any flack for NIP.  That, to me, is why a nurse in might make sense- in an instance where some mother ran into zero tolerance for her need to feed her child, with the intent to normalize the act. Again, like I said, I almost never see BFing here. I live in a liberal city and no one has given me crap about it, but I don't think it would be a bad thing for it to be more publicly visible. 

lanie30

I see what you are saying.

Our public health unit is very very pro breastfeeding and there are "breastfeeding friendly" signs everywhere. Perhaps its because there are so many nursing women in our region (we have a 98% breastfeeding start rate) that I dont' really see the need for a nurse in here and when it does happen, I just roll my eyes.I never really noticed women breastfeeding until I had Jo because I wasn't thinking about it until then. I've never seen anyone kicked out of a restaurant/mall etc... but that's mostly because you wouldn't know if they were feeding or not. I think the combination of public education and discretion have made for the best sort of outcome here.

We have a lot of support for breastfeeding. You can get a free lactation consultants at your grocery store (no really).

The boob is king here. 

 

vanfox

Birdies08:

You say tasteless boob fest like it's a bad thing...

If "the cause" means having more quiet and comfy places to nurse available, then, no, this doesn't help. If "the cause" is to try and force people to untwist their panties about breasts and breastfeeding, then I do think it helps. I'm pro both causes, BTW. 

Love the bolded statement.

Also keep in mind that the vast majority of US cities are NOT breastfeeding friendly. I mean, you apparently live in a utopia for it and are pro-breastfeeding, but you're still using terms like "throwing their titties around", which is pretty ugly and judgmental.

C-Charm

lanie30:

KatieB19:

lanie30:

If someone could explain to me how nurse ins and hats like this help the cause, I'd be supremely grateful.

My understanding is that nurse ins bring awareness that bfing is something that is done, should not be shunned, and is more common than perhaps is known.

The hats I think are just hilarious and in-your-face to people who are unreasonably uncomfortable.  Like my FIL.

Both I think are like a big FU to people who put down public bfing.

I think both are a big tasteless boob fest and irritate me greatly. I want to nurse my child where I want, when I want, in a way that makes me & my child comfortable and also respects others. I want others to believe most nursing women want the same. I don't want to tell anyone "FU" for being uncomfortable around me. I just want a quiet place to nurse. Perhaps that's why I find these, and nurse ins so utterly contrary to the cause.

I used to be on the fence about nurse-ins...even though I've nursed DD on the go just about everywhere imaginable (without using a cover).  However, I think I see their usefullness.  Dont the people who attend really just talk, hang out and feed their children, thereby normalizing NIP in a way that many people don't normally see?  I think that the public walks by and sees that NIP really is no big deal.

I've been with groups of nursing parents (at lunch after a BFing class at a local non--profit or after a babywearing meeting, etc) and joked that we were an unoffical, impromptu nurse-in.  I just see nurse-ins as a gathering of people who are out to support an issue...like a group of people who want to show their numbers in support of other things like encouraging people to be more "green" or to raise money for a particular cause.  If the moms go to a nurse-in with their young children, at some point said children will want/need to nurse.  What's so bad about gathering for awareness-raising?

It's not like the women strip down topless and dance around before they feed their kiddos.  I agree that "boobie waving" would be pointless, uncessarily controversial and ridiculously in-your-face.  But then again, I've never been to a nurse-in.  Maybe there's a lot of shimmying going on that I'm not aware of.

As for the hats:  I'd never buy one; I'm not sure I see the point.  However, I don't care if someone else sees a point in doing so.

C-Charm

Can someone explain this whole "whipping out" phrase to me?

I have always fed DD whenever/wherever she needed--commuting during rush hour on the local light rail, filling out paperwork to buy a car, walking around with her in a carrier at a festival, library, shopping with her in a carrier, doing volunteer work etc.  Usually, I unhook my nursing bra & nursing camisole and go under my shirt.  It's generally not a big production and most people have no idea that she isn't just lying in my lap or burrying her head into my chest. 

I've also gone over the neckline, which is decidedly less discrete, but still not a huge attention grabber.  I must say that I've never engaged in any whipping, flapping, waving or shimmying before or during nursing.  It actually sounds kind of uncomfortable (painful) for the mom and a bit of a taunt for a hungry nursling.

I was once harrassed by two women on the D.C. Metro who accused me of "whipping out" out my "t*tty" to "feed a 3-year old."  DD was about 19 months at the time.  It was a hot, crowded summer, rush-hour commute and we were both tired, cranky & thirsty.  No one else on the train even realized what I'd been doing until they made a big to-do about it.  Of all the things people do on the train, they were mad at me for keeping my child happy!  I've hated that phrase since that day.

lanie30

.  I must say that I've never engaged in any whipping, flapping, waving or shimmying before or during nursing.  It actually sounds kind of uncomfortable (painful) for the mom and a bit of a taunt for a hungry nursling.

Exactly and most women don't. Until they are at a nurse in. And then its a big old AW leaky boob fest and people are repulsed. Which generally is unfortunate to the cause. 

I don't know that I'd say most places aren't breastfeeding friendly. I just think most women who are nursing do so so you can't even tell what's going on. 

lanie30

vanfox:

Birdies08:

You say tasteless boob fest like it's a bad thing...

If "the cause" means having more quiet and comfy places to nurse available, then, no, this doesn't help. If "the cause" is to try and force people to untwist their panties about breasts and breastfeeding, then I do think it helps. I'm pro both causes, BTW. 

Love the bolded statement.

Also keep in mind that the vast majority of US cities are NOT breastfeeding friendly. I mean, you apparently live in a utopia for it and are pro-breastfeeding, but you're still using terms like "throwing their titties around", which is pretty ugly and judgmental.

Its actually quite tongue in cheek. The throwing boobs around and shimmying in this post was fairly satirical. Unclench.

C-Charm

lanie30:

vanfox:

Love the bolded statement.

Also keep in mind that the vast majority of US cities are NOT breastfeeding friendly. I mean, you apparently live in a utopia for it and are pro-breastfeeding, but you're still using terms like "throwing their titties around", which is pretty ugly and judgmental.

Its actually quite tongue in cheek. The throwing boobs around and shimmying in this post was fairly satirical. Unclench.

Seriously.  Are you being satirical or do people usually get very showy at nurse-ins?  My interest is piqued now; and I'm confused.  I imagined people sitting around and just nursing their children the "normal" way.

Sometimes people are a little less modest than at other times.  I imagine that being a function of one's outfit (button down, vs. pull-over; dress vs. shirt) on a particular day, not a function of how much attention a mom wants to attract.

Birdies08

C-Charm:

Can someone explain this whole "whipping out" phrase to me?

I have always fed DD whenever/wherever she needed--commuting during rush hour on the local light rail, filling out paperwork to buy a car, walking around with her in a carrier at a festival, library, shopping with her in a carrier, doing volunteer work etc.  Usually, I unhook my nursing bra & nursing camisole and go under my shirt.  It's generally not a big production and most people have no idea that she isn't just lying in my lap or burrying her head into my chest. 

I've also gone over the neckline, which is decidedly less discrete, but still not a huge attention grabber.  I must say that I've never engaged in any whipping, flapping, waving or shimmying before or during nursing.  It actually sounds kind of uncomfortable (painful) for the mom and a bit of a taunt for a hungry nursling.

I was once harrassed by two women on the D.C. Metro who accused me of "whipping out" out my "t*tty" to "feed a 3-year old."  DD was about 19 months at the time.  It was a hot, crowded summer, rush-hour commute and we were both tired, cranky & thirsty.  No one else on the train even realized what I'd been doing until they made a big to-do about it.  Of all the things people do on the train, they were mad at me for keeping my child happy!  I've hated that phrase since that day.

My use of these phrases was meant to be amusing. I normally pull my over shirt up or down and unhook my nursing bra. LO pretty much hides the whole thing. I don't usually wave my breasts around in public. Well, not for free. 

Oh, and ETA: Sorry those women were jerks to you. No one deserves to get crap for feeding or comforting their child. I can see why those phrases rub you the wrong way!

Birdies08

lanie30:

I see what you are saying.

Our public health unit is very very pro breastfeeding and there are "breastfeeding friendly" signs everywhere. Perhaps its because there are so many nursing women in our region (we have a 98% breastfeeding start rate) that I dont' really see the need for a nurse in here and when it does happen, I just roll my eyes.I never really noticed women breastfeeding until I had Jo because I wasn't thinking about it until then. I've never seen anyone kicked out of a restaurant/mall etc... but that's mostly because you wouldn't know if they were feeding or not. I think the combination of public education and discretion have made for the best sort of outcome here.

We have a lot of support for breastfeeding. You can get a free lactation consultants at your grocery store (no really).

The boob is king here. 

 

I must know where you live! I am guessing somewhere in Canada? 

lanie30

Birdies08:

lanie30:

I see what you are saying.

Our public health unit is very very pro breastfeeding and there are "breastfeeding friendly" signs everywhere. Perhaps its because there are so many nursing women in our region (we have a 98% breastfeeding start rate) that I dont' really see the need for a nurse in here and when it does happen, I just roll my eyes.I never really noticed women breastfeeding until I had Jo because I wasn't thinking about it until then. I've never seen anyone kicked out of a restaurant/mall etc... but that's mostly because you wouldn't know if they were feeding or not. I think the combination of public education and discretion have made for the best sort of outcome here.

We have a lot of support for breastfeeding. You can get a free lactation consultants at your grocery store (no really).

The boob is king here. 

 

I must know where you live! I am guessing somewhere in Canada? 

Yup! I'll PM you.

Amamsneb

I'd probably let LO wear the hat at a LLL meeting or something, or perhaps around my family because they'd pretty much all get a kick out of it, but I can't see doing it in public.  W/regard to nurse-ins....I can only see staging a public protest if someone INSISTED that I take my breastfeeding child elsewhere.  Having a comfy private place to nurse doesn't, in my state, take away a woman's right to nurse anywhere she is otherwise authorized to be.  That's a bit like saying, you have a RIGHT to be gay anywhere, but we'd really prefer it if you and your date would sit in the well-lit secluded gay section of our restaurant where no one can see you, because your relationship makes our other customers uncomfortable.  Oh and if you don't sit there, we're going to spit on your food and make you feel like freaks.

lanie30

C-Charm:

lanie30:

vanfox:

Love the bolded statement.

Also keep in mind that the vast majority of US cities are NOT breastfeeding friendly. I mean, you apparently live in a utopia for it and are pro-breastfeeding, but you're still using terms like "throwing their titties around", which is pretty ugly and judgmental.

Its actually quite tongue in cheek. The throwing boobs around and shimmying in this post was fairly satirical. Unclench.

Seriously.  Are you being satirical or do people usually get very showy at nurse-ins?  My interest is piqued now; and I'm confused.  I imagined people sitting around and just nursing their children the "normal" way.

Sometimes people are a little less modest than at other times.  I imagine that being a function of one's outfit (button down, vs. pull-over; dress vs. shirt) on a particular day, not a function of how much attention a mom wants to attract.

I've bumped into 2 nurse ins. Both were full of women behaving outrageously and in my opinion, giving nursing a bad name.

I generally can't tell if anyone is nursing. 

C-Charm

lanie30:

C-Charm:

lanie30:

Its actually quite tongue in cheek. The throwing boobs around and shimmying in this post was fairly satirical. Unclench.

Seriously.  Are you being satirical or do people usually get very showy at nurse-ins?  My interest is piqued now; and I'm confused.  I imagined people sitting around and just nursing their children the "normal" way.

Sometimes people are a little less modest than at other times.  I imagine that being a function of one's outfit (button down, vs. pull-over; dress vs. shirt) on a particular day, not a function of how much attention a mom wants to attract.

I've bumped into 2 nurse ins. Both were full of women behaving outrageously and in my opinion, giving nursing a bad name.

I generally can't tell if anyone is nursing. 

That's disappointing.  There was a nurse-in in D.C. last summer at a Smithsonian Museum.  From what I could tell, it really seemed like a pleasant day at the museum--women chatting and feeding their children, as needed.  The museum management welcomed them and everyone got along wonderfully (and they museum had apologized for the security guard who mishandled the initial situation).  Any others nurse-ins that I've read about have seemed similar--no real conflicts or poor behavior.

I fully understand your distaste for people behaving in the way that you witnessed.  I'm sorry you had to encounter that.

TiffanyBerry

I got one of these hats probably a year ago!  I love it!  I didn't get to use it while she nursed as often as I might have thought, but it was also just an adorable hat (that she wouldn't pull off).

IMG_0613 by tarnalberry, on Flickr

hey_little_bird

lanie30:

C-Charm:

lanie30:

vanfox:

Love the bolded statement.

Also keep in mind that the vast majority of US cities are NOT breastfeeding friendly. I mean, you apparently live in a utopia for it and are pro-breastfeeding, but you're still using terms like "throwing their titties around", which is pretty ugly and judgmental.

Its actually quite tongue in cheek. The throwing boobs around and shimmying in this post was fairly satirical. Unclench.

Seriously.  Are you being satirical or do people usually get very showy at nurse-ins?  My interest is piqued now; and I'm confused.  I imagined people sitting around and just nursing their children the "normal" way.

Sometimes people are a little less modest than at other times.  I imagine that being a function of one's outfit (button down, vs. pull-over; dress vs. shirt) on a particular day, not a function of how much attention a mom wants to attract.

I've bumped into 2 nurse ins. Both were full of women behaving outrageously and in my opinion, giving nursing a bad name.

I generally can't tell if anyone is nursing. 

what exactly were these women doing that appalled you so much? what constitutes "outrageous" behavior?

also, regarding the hats: lighten up. they're just supposed to be funny. sheesh.

C-Charm

bethy84:

The hats definitely made me laugh, but I would never actually buy/make one!  After reading all the responses, I kind of see your point, Lanie.  I wish BFing was more the norm here but I think a nurse-in kind of situation would do exactly the opposite in our community.  I think the best thing for a place like my city is just women BFing in general.  A nurse-in makes it a spectacle, not a normal everyday event.  I never hide in a corner to NIP, especially when I know there are other BFing women around, but I also don't flap anything around....couldn't if I tried....

I think that the KIND of nurse-in that Lanie described could be problematic.  It's too bad that the spectacle-creating women were doing whatever it is that they were doing (which is still unclear).  However, any nurse-in that I've heard about is like a normal, everyday event.

I've heard of women being kicked out of places where they have a right to be, just because they were nursing.  As a result, there have been successful nurse-ins where the management of the place ended up apologizing, welcoming the women who participated in the nurse-in, and using the nurse-in as a teachable moment for their staff & the community at large.  Those nurse-ins sound like a win-win-win situation to me.

Katieh6

I think they are funny!