Ever since I found out that I would miscarry over a week ago, I've been googling and reading stories of what to expect, so I thought I'd share my story for those waiting to miscarry or struggling to decide whether to wait or get a d&c.
I found out through an ultrasound on Friday 10/21 that our baby stopped growing at 5 weeks 3 days. I'm confused right now as to whether I had a blighted ovum or not, because we could see a yolk sac on the ultrasound, and ultrasounds of blighted ovums that I've seen online did not look like what we saw. The tech and midwife did not use the term "blighted ovum." When I asked the midwife if that's what it was she said, "Well basically, yes." But I'm not so sure, but anyway, I had a sac measuring 5 weeks 3 days and no baby.
I was always leaning towards miscarrying naturally. The worries I had were how long it would take my body to do it and if I would get rid of everything on my own or if I would wind up needing a d&c anyway. (I guess I don't know the answer to this yet.)
I started spotting on Tuesday, at 8 weeks 6 days. I would only bleed after I emptied my bladder and I usually had clots. I had mild cramps during this time and this pattern of bleeding and cramping continued through Friday.
DH and I stayed up late on Friday watching t.v. and talking. I fell asleep watching t.v. around 2am, but woke up about a half hour later with intense cramps. The cramps got worse and worse and I was not comfortable anywhere but on the toilet crunched over pushing. If I layed down or sat down I was in so much pain. I was in pain on the toilet, but it was more manageable. Now I realize that I was in labor and my cervix was dilating. The intense cramping continued for another hour and a half. I emptied my bowls and felt like I was going to throw up too. I was hunched over sitting on the toilet with a trash can in front of my face. I kept saying, "I hate this so much."
A little after 3:30am, after I had just flushed the toilet I felt something fall out of my cervix and I said to MH in the bedroom, "I think I passed it." I turned to look and there was the sac. It was about a quarter to a half dollar size white sac with a black dot or something in it. It was hard to look at but I wanted to look at it. I asked MH if he wanted to see it and he said he did. He came in and looked at it from where he was standing and said, "Yeah, that's it." I said I felt weird just flushing it down the toilet but I didn't know what else to do. MH said yeah, but he thought that was best. Part of me would have liked to have buried the tissue and had some sort of memorial, but I think it would have been hard to get MH on board with it, and it scared me to get the sac out and look at it up close. MH left the bathroom and I got down next to the toilet and said, "I'm so sorry. I love you," and I flushed the toilet.
I got back on the toilet and some more really large clots fell out and I think that may have been the placenta. I was dripping blood like a faucet and I was worried that it was too much so I put on a pad so I could monitor how much I was bleeding and make sure it wasn't more than a pad an hour. I sat in bed and we tried to watch a t.v. show but I still was in a ton of pain and couldn't sit. I went back on the toilet and let some more clots fall out until my cramps became more manageable and then went to lay down in bed. I think I finally went to sleep around 6:00am.
The next day was more like what they tell you a miscarriage is like, a really painful, heavy period. Today (Sunday) has been better so far, but I still have much more painful cramps than I normally do during my period.
I am glad that my body took care of everything on it's own (at least I hope it got rid of everything). I don't know why doctors/midwives say that a miscarriage is just a bad period, because many stories I've read are similar experiences to mine where the woman goes into labor. I would still choose to do it this way than the d&c just because I have a lot fear with surgery and I hate going under general anesthesia, so this was the best option for me. I hope this story helps some people to know what to expect. Miscarriage is painful, emotionally and physically.