I just stink at this

cottonlily84

I should've known as much trouble as getting pregnant and staying pregnant was that BFing would be just as difficult. I have to use this stupid breast shield that I hate but she won't nurse without it.  With the shield she's grabbing onto just the very tip of my nipple and sucking mostly on silicone which of course gets her no milk and hurts like hell.  I just feel like she is not getting enough to eat from me.  For instance her last feeding she nursed on both sides (which is a new accomplishment for us anyway) but I can't tell if she's even getting any milk.  I had to pull her off the 2nd side because it hurt so bad.  So I go on to pump to make sure I'm keeping my supply up and I get like 2 more ounces which she ate right away.  Everyone says to nurse as much as possible because it's superior to pumping so it's frustrating that pumping works better for me because I'm so horrible at nursing!  Pumping never hurts and I know she's actually getting some milk and exactly how much.  And to think I had all these warm fuzzy notions about holding my little baby while she gets full and happy. 

tokenhoser

It sounds like she's not latching properly - even with the shield. That makes her an inefficient eater and is why it hurts. You need to get the latch sorted, one way or another. Can you see someone in person (LC or LLL leader)?

There are videos here that might help to see what a latch should look like:
https://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=videos

Good info here:
https://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html

And more stuff here:
https://www.llli.org/nb/nblatch.html

And you do not stink, nor are you horrible at anything. It takes two to breastfeed, and sometimes it's just HARD. Get some help. Don't blame yourself. It doesn't come easy for everyone, and that's not your fault.

mrsredmoose

OP, I feel the same way.  I hope things get easier for both of us.  PP, thanks for sharing those links.

kitkat145

Also, your baby is a preemie who hasn't reached her due date yet. Things got much better once we hit that milestone but we used the shield until about a month ago (8 weeks adjusted)! Can you get to a lactation consultant? They can help you with LO's latch and do a pre and post feed weight. Be patient and don't give up! 

lanbob

The way i see it is if you feed, bath, clothe, and your LO has a clean safe place to live and that your doing the best you can for both of you then your doing things the superior way. Bf can be very stressful it is this time around and i ebf DD1 & DD2 no prob. If pumping works better for you and LO then consider it. Whats really improtant is that the 2 of you bond and if you're both stressed its hard to bond. Good Luck I hope you find what works best for the 2 of you.

cottonlily84

I'm going to have to see the LC.  I didn't get much time with her in the hospital and never even got to the class because LO came so early.  Even when I see milk in the shield and therefore know she's getting some it hurts so I have to do something. 

tokenhoser

It's not too late to get some useful help! Dealing with a preemie makes things harder, for sure.

I really like the quote "You can only do what you can do." Try your best, ask for help, and most of all, keep your baby fed. If you did that (no matter what you feed her), you're being a great mom.