Is SO aware of VBAC risks?

MsMom1

I had to defend myself in a conversation today about VBAC. When I got off the phone DH was super supportive (he always has been), but it got me thinking, I've done a ton of research, but I'm not so sure he is aware of the risks. Have you talked with your SO about the risks? Do you share all the information? Just curious what kind of conversations others have had.

kcvasquez

I hate that we have to defend our choice to VBAC, what I don't understand is do people think that there are no risks with a c-section? No one stands around and say "I can't believe you're going to have a RCS! You could DIE!" Anyway...yes I have talked to DH about the risks and I printed off statistics for him, he also knows though about the risks of a RCS and the risks to future pregnancies with that. I think it's important for them to know the risks of both since it affects them as well if something were to go wrong with you or the baby....it's truly a hard choice either way and it doesn't help having to defend yourself every step of the way! Glad DH is supportive of you though, he's the most important one

cchill01

DH is uneducated and terrified of his perceived risks.  He gets upset when I start talking about having to fight for a VBAC, because he thinks I'll do anything - despite the risk.  After our emotional 60hour roller coaster birth with #1, I can't say I blame him.

I try to send him information every once and a while, but it's not really helping.  We're attending an ICAN VBAC seminar on the 12th.  I'm really hoping that helps.

MAprincess

DH knew all of the facts about VBAC by the time I delivered.  This included the facts as well as the incorrect information that many people like to "quote" about VBACs.  I thought it was important for him to know both so he wouldn't freak out if some moron said "Aren't you afraid your baby is going to die?  That is a pretty selfish choice" then he could slam that person with the actual data that would shame that person back into their hole.

Sorry, I agree that we shouldn't have to defend the decision especially to people who are not educated on the subject.  I'd be happy to talk to someone who is interested in learning or has actually done the research too, but not the people who picked some erronious information up from who knows where.

Short answer: yes, DH and I were on the same page with all of the information.  He really wanted to educate himself on it as well.

iris427

Yes because I would blather on about VBAC all the time.

holly321

He isn't unaware.  We were watching a show and someone was talking about vbacs and mentioning the risks of uterine tear, and he looked at me and said "you didn't hear that right?" Because he didn't want it to upset me, because he knows a vbac is important to me.

SuzJune04

Since we decided to VBAC my DH has been coming to my OB appts with me.  I wanted him to hear straight from my OB's mouth about what they would and wouldn't do.  I know that with my pregnancy brain I wouldn't remember all the details.  I also had DH read a VBAC story that closely resembled our situation.  I do feel like I should get another book or something.

Brownie_222

iris427:

Yes because I would blather on about VBAC all the time.

This for me, too! 

Leap08

He is now. Not only is he aware of the risks, but he's also aware of hospital policies and what I want in regards to delivery. I had a packet of info from the hospital that I had him read through yesterday. I have to sign a VBAC consent form this week and I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I asked him if he had any concerns, and really the one statistic that bothered him had to do with c-sections, not VBAC (serious breathing problems for baby). I feel lucky that he's so supportive of my decisions.

je2161

DH is fully aware of the risks of both options and supports my decision either way. We have read all of the studies together; he is in healthcare, so he likes reading that stuff!