Seriously, 2 days in a row (pg mentioned)

poohbear033

UGH I am in a terrible mood. Today was a pretty good day at school, the kids were fine, we had our halloween party. I had a parent meeting after school and I literally just left school. I either want to curl up in a ball and cry or go get really drunk.

 I just logged on FB and there was a nice, lovely post about feeling the baby kick at 16weeks. I am glad I think before I type or my response would have been along the lines of "I hope your baby dies like mine have." How mean is that, seriously, I must be a horrible person. 

 I am glad I made an appointment for counseling, some days are good and some days are bad. I have more good ones than bad, but why do I have to have 2 bad days in a row. 

Thanks for listening to my vent. 

VikingQueen

Oh sweetie your not a horrible person. We all have days like that ((huge hugs)) I know what you mean. Right now one of the girls that was my bridesmaid is filling up my FB feed with pictures of her baby that she had yesterday and while I'm happy for her I can't help but think I should have a baby to be taking pictures of too. Vent away to us love. We all have been there.

bribri81404

Totally agree with Viking! Vent away to us! We have all been in a position like that!! ((huge hugs))

linfor2

If you're horrible than so am I. ((Big Hugs))

MeatballEsq

linfor2:

If you're horrible than so am I. ((Big Hugs))

Count me in as horrible too. I just found out two friends from HS are KU'd too. One of them a few weeks after my EDD, which made me realize I'd be out of my first tri by now. Ugh.

bluebonnetmeg

I am so sorry you are having a rough couple of days. ((hugs)) Everytime I go on FB I feel like I have to prepare for an attack of the FHs!

mandac033

I'm so sorry hun. I've been having bad days these past few days too. What's frustrating is that people don't get it!! You just want to slap them in the face and tell them to shut the f up!! I'm sorry these past few days have been crappy. I hope you have a great weekend and things get better. We're all here if you need us!!

 

P.S I'm calling on Monday to make an appointment with another counselor. I really think it will help. Let me know how it goes! 

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FreyaWin2382

You are not a horrible person...you are a mother grieving the loss of her child and frankly, IT SUCKS that we all have to be placed in that position. I too have days where I just want to scream at everyone around me; especially when they complain about their bodies/babies/days....sometimes I just want to snap: "Oh yeah? You're day is so bad because little Timmy drew all over your kitchen wall? Well, at least he isn't dead like my baby."

Know that you are not alone and that you are showing strength by recognizing these feelings and venting about them here. Hugs to you.

raashton

You aren't a terrible person!  You just had something terrible happen to you and it skews your initial reaction to everything.  But that's why you have great impulse control too!

I think things like that.  Like for my sister, who's pg timeline is a month ahead of what mine would have been, a few weeks after my m/c, she was talking about how much she was cramping and I thought, "Gee, a little part of me wants you to get in my boat."  I still only feel slightly bad for it because I know at the start of her pregnancy, she was not wanting it.