Comfort Nursing and Learning to Self-Soothe...

SMJ1106

Nursing is one of the only things that actually calms DD down when she gets all worked up.  It's come to the point that she wakes, nurses, diaper change, play, sleepy cue... if I put her down for a nap at this point she will scream bloody murder. If I comfort nurse her when she shows signs of being tired she falls asleep pretty easily (usually).  So she is nursing twice everyt ime she is awake.

I am wondering, for those of you that have LO's further along than my DD (~8weeks)... did you go through this?  And will it get better or is it something I am going to have to wean her from? I don't mind comfort nursing her... but I hate to have to do it every.single.time for fear that she will rely on it for months and months.

She also currently won't sleep at night unless she is sleeping on me and it has been this way for almost 2 weeks.  I really want that to stop! 

JKB1986

For me DS had the same schedule, nurse, play, nurse, sleep, etc for quite a while (5 months?).  He didn't have that same schedule for others though, just for me.  I didn't mind it because it let me relax as well so I never did anything to stop it.  As he got older he just stopped needing to nurse when he woke up because he was busy doing other things.  I would still nurse him to sleep though.  I didn't have the problem that he would only sleep ON me but he always needed to be rocked/nursed to sleep.  Will she sleep next to you and then you can slowly move her to sleeping in a pack n play next to your bed?  She is still very young so I wouldn't get stressed about any of her habits yet.  Her schedule and other tendencies will continue to change a lot over the next few months.

SMJ1106

Up until about 2 weeks ago she would sleep in her RNP or in the boppy at night.  Now she will only nap in her swing and sleep at night if she's on me.  Almost every night for the past 2 weeks I've tried to nurse her to sleep and once she is completely asleep I try to move her to the boppy or RNP and she immediately wakes up... Every single time. I've tried this for 3 hours straight many times before giving up and going to sleep with her on my chest. So my current bedtime is the same as hers ~7pm.  At that point I am done for the night until about 7am. At first I thought maybe it had something to do with her 6 week growth spurt... doesn't seem to be that way anymore!

JKB1986

I wouldn't be too concerned.  If it is hard on you though maybe try nursing her to sleep and then handing her off to DH to hold for a bit and then try to transfer.  Sometimes it was easier for DH to lay DS down than it was for me just because of my scent.  I would nurse to sleep, slip in the paci and hand him over.  Worth a try!

larrysdarling

Babies that young are not capable of self soothing for about the first 6 months. They also don't form sleep habits until after 4 months so you can do what you need to now for both of you to get sleep as long as it's safe.

The reason she's waking up when you try to move her is possibly b/c she's not in a deep sleep. Babies go through sleep cycles like the rest of us do. The first part of their sleep - say the first 25-30 minutes is very light. You're likely waking her up when you move her.

In the beginning, I used to nurse her then afterwards we used to walk her around the room and lightly rock/bounce her. We put her in the rnp as soon as she fell asleep and then rocked it a little bit if she stirred. Occasionally she used a paci then if it fell out I just removed it off of her. She never go addicted to it and stopped using it around 5 months.

Have you tried swaddling her? Do you use a paci? Both of these are safe and helpful methods of comforting newborns. We used the swing for sleep A LOT.  I was so glad it had a plug and no batteries.

Also, not telling you what to do here but the boppy is not safe for babies to sleep in or on. It's a pillow and it's a dangerous suffocation risk. The tag even warns against using it for sleep. 

The beginning is really rough. It feels like you get into a groove then the baby changes something up on you.  But it does get better.  Hang in there.

 

jaymiegerard

Side-nursing saved me from being constantly slept on!  It was hard to get the right position at first, but eventually I figured out how to lay on my side and nurse - that way when he falls asleep he's already on the bed.

It can be a tricky position, particularly if you have big boobs (b/c you may have to hold it) but as DS is getting older, it's requiring less work from me.

Here:

The Side-Lying Position

This position is comfortable for mothers who've had a cesarean section (C-section) because the baby doesn't put pressure on the mother's abdomen. This is also a great way for you to get some rest while nursing your baby.

Start by lying on your side with your baby on his or her side, facing you. Your baby should be positioned so his or her nose is opposite your nipple. Use your lower arm to cradle your baby's back, or you can tuck a rolled-up receiving blanket behind your baby to help nestle your little one close to you while you use your arm to support your own head. You can support your breast with your other hand.

 From https://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/breastfeed/nursing_positions.html#

jessmae10

I agree, side lying position for nursing saved me...I still nurse this way to save my back and arms.  DD did the same, she would only fall asleep nursing in my arms...once I got comfortable with the idea of her sleeping next to me (she was sleeping on me anyways), we tried it and it was great.  Once she falls into a deep sleep (about 45 minutes) I can slip away and do some things before she wakes back up.

jackiemf

SMJ1106:

Up until about 2 weeks ago she would sleep in her RNP or in the boppy at night.  Now she will only nap in her swing and sleep at night if she's on me.  Almost every night for the past 2 weeks I've tried to nurse her to sleep and once she is completely asleep I try to move her to the boppy or RNP and she immediately wakes up... Every single time. I've tried this for 3 hours straight many times before giving up and going to sleep with her on my chest. So my current bedtime is the same as hers ~7pm.  At that point I am done for the night until about 7am. At first I thought maybe it had something to do with her 6 week growth spurt... doesn't seem to be that way anymore!

My DS prefers to sleep on me as well. I have been putting him next to me in bed to get him used to being flat on his back on his own. In a week or two I might attempt the crib again if it is going alright. Right now he wakes up everytime I set him down in his crib unless he is in a deep sleep which never seems to be at night.

suttonkt

My LO used to wake up when we would try to move her as well but a trick my Grandma told me was to put a hot water bottle on the place where she's supposed to sleep for like 10 mins (or a heating pad) before you put her down so that its nice and warm. Part of what wakes them up is leaving your nice warm body. 

ILoveRunning

side-lying nursing all the way!

 Seriously though, your LO is way to young to be able to self-soothe and the first 4 months or so are just about doing whatever is necessary to keep you and LO sane and happy.  I also agree that having your LO sleep on you when you sleep in unsafe, although it can be done if you are awake and alert.

What I found to be successful was to nurse my DS in the side-lying position until he fell asleep.  After ~20 minutes I would check to see if he was in a deep sleep.  If he was, I would then gently pick him up and transfer him to the co-sleeper.

 BTW, I still nurse my DS to sleep and will occasionally co-sleep with him.  Transferring him to a crib was no problem when we did it around 6 months.  He still needs to nurse to sleep if I am around, but I honestly love it.  I rock/nurse him and when he falls asleep, I transfer him to his crib.