Been an emotional few days. Could use some prayers. (long)

HappyIAm

I have had a crazy few days with little sleep and lots of emotions. I spent all day Saturday in Athens with my sister helping her finish the nursery and make returns.  Ended up having an asthma attack as I am allergic to her two cats.  Had no inhaler so it got really bad by Sunday and I got no sleep at all.  Finally had an inhaler called in on Sunday and toughed through the rest of the day helping her.  I am so happy we got it all done because she went into labor on Monday morning.

 I am overjoyed to be an Aunt.  My niece is amazing and perfect. Never have I felt this kind of love.  Monday was the most stressful day.  My sis had the baby naturally and labored at home a good bit of the day. We were a mess down here because we had no clue when to go up as they did not want anyone there until they went to the hospital and they did not know when that would be.  So we waited and went crazy. I also had a huge work presentation I had to get through that morning.  

 My Mom was a total mess by the time we got to the hospital and we were quite stressed as we know she has a low threshold for pain. All we could imagine was her screaming for drugs... and she was.  We were not given any information except when we asked the nurses.  It was hard not knowing what was going on, when she was going to push... etc.  She made it through totally unmediated and I am in awe!!!   We finally got to meet Elynore Dorothy at 11:30 Monday night and it was the most amazing moment.  I was so proud of my sister and in love with this little creature.  We finally checked into a hotel and got to sleep around 2AM.

I spent yesterday bouncing between the hospital and their house cleaning.  When I came home yesterday I lost it.  I miss my sister!!!  I want to be there!!!!  It's driving me crazy that they live in Athens and I am an hour away, but I have to work and I have my little family that needs me. 

 I hate to admit it but this has also made my heart hurt so bad!!  I feel selfish but it's hard not to be sad.  I have been watching the most amazing tender moments between my sister and her baby and the longing in my heart for my own baby is overwhelming.  I squashed all this for the past 4 days and put on a brave face so no one has known but I did have a breakdown last night and I am still feeling sad.  I hate this feeling.

 We have our IVF consult with ACRM on Friday. Please pray that we come away with a plan.  I am praying so hard for acceptance of God's will and timing.  Most days I am able to and I am thankful for that.   I am praying hard for acceptance and peace.  If you read this far... Thank you!!! I just needed to get this off my chest.

ebearwife

Congrats on being an aunt.  I will pray your RE visit Friday comes away with answers and a plan.

Melliebugs

You are such a good sister! Congrats on being an aunt! I live 12 hours from my sister so I know how hard it is to be apart! I hope and pray that your appt gives you some answers and you find yourself on the right journey for you and your hubby! Big hugs to you!

maykat

Sending extra special prayers to you and congrats to you on being an aunt!!  Also, congrats to your sister on laboring naturally (it's tough)

MrsKLB

I saw the pictures of your niece on Facebook and I have been thinking about you.  Knowing the history you have had with trying to get pregnant I knew that it would be bittersweet to see your sister with her new baby.  I am so happy that you have found a wonderful man and that you guys are moving forward towards a plan for your own family.  My thoughts and prayers will be with you and I hope that you get off to a great start with ACRM.  Good luck!

Congratulations to your sister! 

tmhopkins13

You know what? I'm glad that you posted because I have been seeing all the stuff on facebook and was really wondering if YOU were alright. I can't imagine the emotions that you must be going through, but you are amazing and I am glad that you are open to whatever God's plan may be for you, but I am sure that he has something awesome in store. Hang in there and huge hugs!!!! And I will be praying for you....

AugustaBride04

Thinking of you! What you are feeling is completely natural. Hang in there! Your sister and niece are lucky to have you

Temp925407062502290

I bet this is so hard for you!  Praying for you.  Congrats on being an Aunt

seansgirl2006

Big hugs to you and prayers that you leave the appt with a good plan.  Vent here anytime! 

MLvK

I was following your weekend on FB and wondering how you were holding up on the inside.  I know it could not have been easy for you, but its so great that you got to be there for your sister. 

I hope your wishes all come true soon.  Still thinking of you.  

hthomas02

tmhopkins13:

You know what? I'm glad that you posted because I have been seeing all the stuff on facebook and was really wondering if YOU were alright. I can't imagine the emotions that you must be going through, but you are amazing and I am glad that you are open to whatever God's plan may be for you, but I am sure that he has something awesome in store. Hang in there and huge hugs!!!! And I will be praying for you....

Ditto this!!!!  I was wondering how you were doing and I'm glad you posted!  It is completely normal for you to feel that way!  Big hugs to you Carrie, you are an amazing woman and sister and aunt!  we're here for you for anything!  I will keep you in my prayers!  good luck with ACRM!

amanda_holbird@hotmail.com

Like the others, I saw the pics of FB and was wondering how you were doing.  I can imagine how this is a bittersweet moment.  I will pray for you that your appt goes well and that a plan will be established.  Congratulations on becoming an aunt!  Your niece is beautiful!

donna&ed

hthomas02:

tmhopkins13:

You know what? I'm glad that you posted because I have been seeing all the stuff on facebook and was really wondering if YOU were alright. I can't imagine the emotions that you must be going through, but you are amazing and I am glad that you are open to whatever God's plan may be for you, but I am sure that he has something awesome in store. Hang in there and huge hugs!!!! And I will be praying for you....

Ditto this!!!!  I was wondering how you were doing and I'm glad you posted!  It is completely normal for you to feel that way!  Big hugs to you Carrie, you are an amazing woman and sister and aunt!  we're here for you for anything!  I will keep you in my prayers!  good luck with ACRM!

Add me to the curious list! What you are feeling is very natural. I can sense a very proud and sister on your pictures. Best of luck Carrie!

slwprincess

Awww your sister and that new baby girl are so lucky to have you!  Prayers that the next couple days fly by and you get some answers and a plan on Friday!  I want to see you get your dream!

decaturbride

Congratulations on becoming an Aunt! I can tell how much you love your sister and new niece and its so great that you got to be there with them. And I don't think anyone can blame you for feeling sad too. You have been through so much already. Don't feel bad for having your own emotions about everything, you are only human. I hope your appt. goes great and you end up with a plan to make your dreams come true very soon!

kbowman78

Congrats on being an Aunt and to you for being so strong for your sister. Prayers that you get some answers and a good plan for how to move forward toward getting your own little one!

UGAbride

I've been wondering how you were coping...I can only imagine it's emotionally draining to feel so much love for this new baby, while at the same time wanting your own so badly.  I hope and pray you get an awesome, definitive, positive gameplan at your appointment this week!! 

MSquires100

Congrats on being an Aunt.  I hope your appt. provides you with some answers, we will all be thinking of you!

Kerrin

I've been thinking about you and wondering how you were coping.  Such a diffucult and emotionally draining position to be in.  You love that new baby so much and you want to support your sister, but it reminds you of something missing in your own life that you want so badly.  Big hugs to you.  I hope you have a good plan after Friday and that it can give you some peace.