Blended Families

I totally got flamed.

I got SO flamed on the Married Life board last night. I asked about 1st Anniversary announcements. 

The funny thing is, they have a good point. I just never realized that this was not common - because it always has been where I'm from as well as where DH is from.

Here's the deal. In my hometown area, everyone does announcements in the local rag for engagement, wedding, and then their 1st anniversary. We're not sending announcements or anything, just putting something in the local little rag.  DH and I did not announce our engagement or our wedding.  Well, my grandmother has been asking if I'm going to at least put our anniversary in the paper, or does she need to.  And get this...Mom asked if we were too.  Mom, who has been a poop about my husband... but she has been better since I laid into her. She's been trying.  But she didn't ask in the same way.  Just an  "are you planning on doing this" kind of inquiry.  She must be getting some pressure from grandma and my aunt.  Anyway. So I was considering this and wanted to tone it down and NOT do what everyone does which is put your wedding picture in and describe the wedding. Again. If grandma takes over and does it, it will be just that. And I don't want that. I was thinking a current picture of us and a simple thanks to family and friends who have supported us this last year. 

Well...I foolishly asked for other's advice on ML. DUMB! Okay. So I'm a dork.  Especially for not realizing what baracudas they are over there. It's the knot all over again!

Now I'm curious.I had no idea this was uncommon and regional. It's just done in our area.  I didn't question it.  So, is anyone familiar with this? And what do you think? I still have a dilemna.  Should I make my 90 year old grandmother happy? Or say sorry Grandma, I love you, but it's too egocentric and attention grabbing and we don't want the attention and just not do it and risk insulting her and her putting in something any way? 

G'head. Flame me. LMAO!   Can't be any worse than what I got over there! 

Re: I totally got flamed.

  • I have never heard of this, but I say make your grandmother happy!

    The only reason we put our engagement announcement in the Burlington, IA paper was because my MIL insisted....

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  • I had never heard of it up in NY - unless you were a Kennedy or something like that.  This is more of an "upper crust" thing up there.

    However down here in Florida it's very common.  It's very popular down here?  We never did our wedding (me being long in the tooth and all) but to each his own. 

    Screw those mean hags on ML!!!  :-P

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  • Unless you were a Kennedy or something - lol Flo.

    We do it here in my town in Ireland.  Defo wedding pic and story.  I don't even see the issue with it.  What did they flame you for?

    I say do it - you guys deserve a little recognition.  And it will make grandma happy.  It might also show your your mom just how serious you are about your marriage. 

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  • I've never heard of this either...but if it is common/custom where you live then why wouldn't you do it?  Why not make your grandmother happy?
  • LMAO at the Kennedy thing!  Flo you crack me up. What's even funnier is we are so not even close to that.  What a contradiction. 

    Odear...are you from the Burlington area?  Or just family of yours?  Then you know what I mean.  It's very SE Iowa. 

    I don't really care about the flames, I got big girl panties on.  But I couldn't resist laughing back at them.  They all have bios with their cats, dogs, kids, vacations...and tell me no one cares. Yet they display their lives like it's important. 

  • They're still at it, ugh.
    Seriously, people. If your faith in humanity is destroyed because your parents told you there was a Santa Claus and as it turns out there is no Santa Claus, you are an ignorant, hypersensitive cry baby with absolutely zero perspective. - UnderwaterRhymes
  • imagej+k:

    LMAO at the Kennedy thing!  Flo you crack me up. What's even funnier is we are so not even close to that.  What a contradiction. 

    Odear...are you from the Burlington area?  Or just family of yours?  Then you know what I mean.  It's very SE Iowa. 

    I don't really care about the flames, I got big girl panties on.  But I couldn't resist laughing back at them.  They all have bios with their cats, dogs, kids, vacations...and tell me no one cares. Yet they display their lives like it's important. 

     

    My DH is from Burlington, and his family now lives in the middle of nowhere (even though the address is West Burlington, any place that requires multiple gravel roads to get to is in the middle of nowhere to me). 

    I was born in NW Iowa but we moved to Chicago when I was 2.  Most of my family still lives in Iowa

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  • I know sprky,  I just looked.  And that's fine...it's what they do.   I chose the wrong board to inquire. I'm a big girl. I'm not going to run crying and I said my peace there. 

    I noticed our counselor/therapist friend karma was the one who called me out and notified them I was on this board.  It's frightening that she's counseling others. And she commented to them on how I wasn't receptive to her advice here about my stepkids.  Is she serious??  What advice?  She was rude.  Why would I take her advice?  God help her clients.

     

  • Yeah, its a fickle bunch.

    Nobody handles a situation perfectly, but if I had to live  with your stepkids, I'd have leveled the place with a semi-automatic months ago...

    Seriously, people. If your faith in humanity is destroyed because your parents told you there was a Santa Claus and as it turns out there is no Santa Claus, you are an ignorant, hypersensitive cry baby with absolutely zero perspective. - UnderwaterRhymes
  • Oh boy - Karma was there - good let her sorry ass stay there.  Counselor my butt!!!
  • Flo - Wasn't she the one said that if she were in our shoes, we should "love them to death"...and implied that she thought that would "fix" our step kid's problems?  Or was that someone else?

    Genius. My favorite suggestion of all time.

    I think she's disappointed they didn't all run over her and berate me some more. 

     

  • Oh sorry!! I didn't read your right....yes "love on em"  - that was her sappy ass line to solve all step children issues.
  • Well then you'll love this Flo. This is her quote over there about me.

     "She is actually a whack job.  She has a history of some crazy behaviors toward her step children.  That board supports her behavior, and when I called it into question they decided I must not be a therapist.  It was lol worthy."

    LMAO off at crazy behaviors. Yup. I'll admit it. I was losing my mind!  No sh*t sherlock!   And my next favorite part...she "called it into question". Riiiiight.  She makes it out like she was oh so concerned about my step kids. Did she offer up sincere advice or help? No.  She offered rude commentary.  I'll take cold hard advice that's hard to swallow any day. But rude commentary? No. 

    And Karma...if you're reading this - (yes...I know you are....because you live for this.)  Seriously.  If you really are a counselor - you suck at it.  Whether you are getting paid or not, for your profession your behavior is pathetic.  I can not believe that it does not come out in you when you are with your clients. 

  • Calling someone a "whack job" is a very clincal term don't you know!  LMFAO!
  • It's official. I'm crazy.  I've been diagnosed by a professional.

  • What is this the first anniversary of?

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • Is she freakin' serious????  Let me guess. J&A has blocked me right, but she can still see all of your posts?  And not my original one?

    Or am I not really blocked and she just can't read? If that's the case, then that explains a lot. 

  • I'm late to the game but I've never heard of this for a 1st anni.  I see wedding announcements, & 25th, 50th but never for the 1st...and thats down here in Texas.  I say whatever...make grandma happy. 
  • One of the *benefits* of the new nest/bump whatever - I see all your posts again.
    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • Definately regional.  I find it almost strange b/c it's like, "Hey, look at us, we actually made it a year", lol.  But, it will make your 90yo Grandmother happy so go for it...and it's not like you are the only person to ever do it.  My Mom works for the local weekly paper and put our engagement announcement in all 5 papers they have...not worth arguing about but I really did not want every person I never dated knowing, I would have prefered just my town but oh, well.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • Oh dust yourself off and get back up :-) Wouldn't be the nest without some flaming.
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