Anyone get rude comments?

Hope2Have

Below post got me to thinking and wondering if I was the only one. I have had TWO people ask if Hadley was my grandbaby..... Oh my goodness, was I mad. I'm only 30 (was 29 at the time)! I just kinda nervously laughed and said "no, she's mine".  I mean, what was the point? I would never ever ask that question unless the woman was gray headed AND had a cane.

Also, since she is adopted (and I live in a small town) I had to deal A LOT with this conversation..........

Them: oh, what a sweet baby, who's is it?

Me: she's mine! She's 3 weeks old now, her name is Hadley Faith!

Them: Oh, she is not, who's is she?

Me: She's really mine, promise

Them: You were not pregnant, I know you weren't (mind you, even people I barely know, as in cashiers at Wal-Mart/McDonalds)

Me: Actually, we adopted her, and she is ours! We're so thankful!

Them: Who would do that?!? What kind of person would give that precious angel away?

Me: Actually, adoption is a beautiful thing, we are very blessed to have her and that her bmom made such a selfless decision to place her with us...

Them: Well, I can't imagine... sweet baby.

 

That's just some of the things we've had to hear... do any of you get things that are said that are just NOT kosher? 

 

dairygirl19

Since my first pregnancy was full of complications that ended with a stillbirth I get,

"Aren't you happy this one is fine?"

Not inherently offensive...but I just want to say, "No. Not at all. I wish I could relive hell on earth again."

And my other favorite, "Are you sure there's nothing wrong with this one?"

Ummm...Dudes no. She's just fine.

katie4253

People don't think I should get pregnant again, and make it known.  

The fact of the matter is, no, I probably won't ever get pregnant again.  I am too scared.  But, that's my decision, not their decision! 

futuremrsofficer

I can relate to both of you. My first pregnancy was triplets who were born too prematurely to survive, and we adopted Myles. People either say something like, how are you going to tell him he's adopted? or Why would anyone give their baby away. (this one really bothers me) They also say, aren't you glad you only have one baby to deal with instead of 3.

People should really just mind their own business. 

dejasmine

Thats sad that someone would treat you like that. Just because you didnt go through the preganancy dont mean your not going to be just as good as a mama as someone who did. Congrats on your beautiful baby girl!

cherry58

Wow, I'm sorry you've all had those things said to you!  They aren't rude, they are just being plain mean.  Some people don't have a clue.  Sigh.

Sean+Lyss

I got a lot of shiit from family when we told everyone that I was preg with DD. Both babies were a surprise pregnancy. 

One of my aunts didn't talk to me for a month because she thought that I was making a huge mistake having another baby so soon.

I also still get shiit for the names we picked out for them. But that is only from my dad's mom, and has gotten better since DH put his foot down. 

ladybug122

I am a young mom (I just turned 21) but I look pretty young so I get many comments about that, both when I was pregnant and now that I have a baby. People ask me how old I am all the time, and I've gotten "That baby isn't yours is it?" and "You're old enough to have a baby?" Gets annoying! Even if I were 16 or how ever old they think I am, it wouldn't be polite to say those things. 

Jram85

These situations call for this line: "Wow, you just said that outloud to a complete stranger." Works pretty well imo.The short of it: people do not filter like they should. Sucks

Pats&Adri

cherry58:

Wow, I'm sorry you've all had those things said to you!  They aren't rude, they are just being plain mean.  Some people don't have a clue.  Sigh.

 

I agree! Geez, the nerve of some people. 

Sean+Lyss

polkadot1022:

I am a young mom (I just turned 21) but I look pretty young so I get many comments about that, both when I was pregnant and now that I have a baby. People ask me how old I am all the time, and I've gotten "That baby isn't yours is it?" and "You're old enough to have a baby?" Gets annoying! Even if I were 16 or how ever old they think I am, it wouldn't be polite to say those things. 

I have this problem too. I am 24, but look like I could still be in high school. That coupled with the fact that my son looks like he is 3 or 4 when he is 2 makes people give me the side eye, and some have made comments similar to the ones in the quoted post.  

magnoliablossom00

I am 25 and DH is 26. We got married at 24 and 25 and got pregnant 3 months into marriage.

I used to get, "You can't be getting married! You're just a baby!"

Then when I told people I was preg, TONS of people said, "Oh wow! Already? I mean, I guess I need to count the months back. Are you sure you weren't preg on your wedding day?"

Excuse me? Are you just plain stupid or terrible at math? She was born one week before our anniversary, idiot!!!!!!!!!!! 

Now I get looks that I'm too young to have a child. So annoying. I just want to say, "YES, I am married and I'm freaking 25 years old! Get over it!"  Both my husband and myself have college degrees and he actually is nationally certified to monitor the nerves for paralysis during spinal surgery, so we can afford for me to stay home, so kiss my ***! I am NOT 16, I am NOT poor, and I am doing a pretty good job so far!

Grrr..... Did I mention I am still hormonal? Haha! 

agemmell

ugh reading that makes me cringe.  seriously i dont know how some people get through life without gettin five across the eyes somewhere along the way.  cause you know if theyre that rude to you they must be so awkward and rude to other people as well.  mind blowing.

indy_chic

OMG... I'm sorry but I'd likely tell them all to F^&% off!  That's unbelievable.  Some people have no shame. So rude!

psyck

I have twins, so yes, I get all sorts of rude and/or dumb comments & questions.

tulipblossom

agemmell:

ugh reading that makes me cringe.  seriously i dont know how some people get through life without gettin five across the eyes somewhere along the way.  cause you know if theyre that rude to you they must be so awkward and rude to other people as well.  mind blowing.

this 

Wundervoll

polkadot1022:

I am a young mom (I just turned 21) but I look pretty young so I get many comments about that, both when I was pregnant and now that I have a baby. People ask me how old I am all the time, and I've gotten "That baby isn't yours is it?" and "You're old enough to have a baby?" Gets annoying! Even if I were 16 or how ever old they think I am, it wouldn't be polite to say those things. 

I get this A LOT (the age question). I am 24 now, but was 23 when I got pregnant. My husband and I do not wear wedding rings, so I can understand some of the misunderstandings, but it is still annoying that people feel the need to make it their business.

I guess it's the town we live in (the teen pregnancy/single mother rate here is quite high), but people are constantly assuming I am an unwed teen mom. I'm not, but even if I was I don't see how that affects what kind of mom I am.

People are also always trying to give me financial advice. I try to just smile and nod, but it gets annoying that people assume I can't afford a child just because I am young. I don't wear $100 jeans or drive an expensive car, but that doesn't mean I do not have a good job.

What's up with rude strangers? Geez. 

n&j1010

Can I just say I hate people!! Not to be rude myself but people are just plain mean..

Well I'm on the other spectrum I'm 36 and i just had my first, we got all the comments of you better hurry up and have a baby bc if not they will be down syndrome..And so what if they are its still my baby and I'm going to love it unconditionally..

So our DD was born with a nevus(birthmark) on her face, of course its my fault bc I'm soooooo old.. 

But now i get people (random strangers) asking me whats wrong with her face? Um nothing doesn't half the planet have birthmarks..Well hers is on her face..Sorry..And they will ask are you going to have another one and aren't you afraid that the other one might have the same..

Who cares if they do, Im still a Mom who loves her baby with or without a birthmark..

AGain, I'm sorry that we all have to deal with such mean and rude people..

 

XSailoretteX

I can't believe some of these comments. I mean, aside from maybe "you must be such a strong person to have gotten through that" and similar, there is no comment to make regarding stillbirth/infant death. None.

And "what's wrong with her face"? Do people seriously hear themselves?

 And Hope2Have (aka Hadley's Mom ), I have to wonder what part of the state you live in. Here on the hilly side, it's hard to tell a 30 year-old mom from a 30 year-old grandmom. My neighbor's niece recently moved in with them and gave birth to a little boy within a couple of weeks of me. The girl's mom (the grandmother of the baby boy) is the same age as I am. 29. I wish I were kidding.

I have a long standing theory that people just have a limited number of intelligent things available to say. The problem is that they insist on talking after they've used their allotment.

BrittanyMc

I mostly get rude comments/looks for looking so young.  I'm 25(which I know is young), but look about 18 and it sucks.  I love telling people that both children were planned, everyone assumes they were accidents.  I've learned to ignore the rude comments, it only took me 3 years to get to this point.  

AndreaS1206

Let me start out by saying congrats and she is a beautiful baby. That said, I get a lot of the "Is she/he yours??" when ppl see my son and daughter. They are half white and I'm hispanic. Both of my kids are light skinned. I've had ppl tell my white friends that I'm out with that they have a beautiful baby when I'm holding the baby. That and also when I was pregnant this last time I got "Are you hoping this one is ok??". I had a miscarriage in between my kids. No crap, I'm hoping this one is ok. "No I really want to see if this one isn't going to make it. I like getting pregnant and not having a baby and all the heartache that goes with it." Is that the kind of response you want. Common sense would say I don't want another miscarriage and I hope this one makes it. People aren't always smart and don't use filters.

BrendaLou1969

Jram85:

These situations call for this line: "Wow, you just said that outloud to a complete stranger." Works pretty well imo.The short of it: people do not filter like they should. Sucks

My new favorite saying.  I just got the grandmother comment this weekend from a demo tester at Costco.  I flat out told her it was the biggest insult I have received in over a year,  I'm 41 granted there are many grandparents at 41,however, why not just say "What a beautiful baby" instead of your grandaughter is beautiful

JennyAnne022776

psyck:

I have twins, so yes, I get all sorts of rude and/or dumb comments & questions.

Yup, me too...including this peach:

Them:  "Oh, one boy and one girl!"

Me:  "Nope, actually two boys.  The one in the yellow is a boy too."

Them:  "Oh, that's disappointing.  Don't worry dear.  I'm sure you'll get your girl next time."

WTF?  After 2 years, 6 IUIs and 1 IVF, I didn't give a shiit what I had.  I could have had a donkey and a goat and been thrilled.  OK, maybe not, but you get the point.

Kdawgg

dairygirl19:

Since my first pregnancy was full of complications that ended with a stillbirth I get,

"Aren't you happy this one is fine?"

Not inherently offensive...but I just want to say, "No. Not at all. I wish I could relive hell on earth again."

And my other favorite, "Are you sure there's nothing wrong with this one?"

Ummm...Dudes no. She's just fine.

 *gasp*  wow...

I canNOT believe that ppl would say such things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh wait, yes I can, ppl are sooo dumb sometimes...

g00dg0llymsm0lly

I'm adopted, and I know my mom used to get rude comments, because even as a young child they'd say things like that (in front of me!). Some people are just rude and selfish and will never understand. Of course she is YOUR baby! And don't worry, she'll always know that you are her mom, no matter what people say. Just ignore them, and get rude back if you need to.

 As far as general un-kosher comments go, I got told by a random lady that my baby was psychic and had a third eye or something like that. Just very strange. My SIL continuously calls my DD Evelyn, even though she knows damn well her name is Eve. Rude. But nothing too extreme or insulting has come along- yet.

SarahRae812

Jram85:

These situations call for this line: "Wow, you just said that outloud to a complete stranger." Works pretty well imo.The short of it: people do not filter like they should. Sucks

I am totally stealing this line! Thankfully, I haven't heard any crazy stupid comments, but it's nice to have the proper response in my back pocket.  

KW12

My personal favorite "At least we know the baby's yours" when talking to my Fiance. Thanks guys for that gem. Even though I've been engaged for almost 2 years joking that I'm unfaithful is super charming. Or "at least the baby is good looking like you. You got lucky and dodged a bullet because it could have gone either way". Yea my Fiance is in no way ugly and my son looks just like his dad. I'm 22 but look 17 so I get the YOU have a baby looks all the time too.