January 2012 Moms

If MIL keeps this up...

I will not be letting her babysit LO. She has been partying it up lately! I don't know what has gotten in to her. She went out Saturday night and got hammered and then went out to the bar Sunday to watch football and was drinking then! She came back to our house after and passed out on the couch!!!!! I think she might be having a mid-life melt down with her first son having a baby and her last getting his driver's license and starting college (he graduated early). But for real! She is 48 and gets invited to parties just cause she can "hang". I am quite embarrassed actually. My FIL is already an alcoholic and I told DH that he will never have the baby alone (which DH agrees with). Now, I am questioning if either of them will be watching my child! Hopefully this is a phase...

What would you guys do? Just wait and see if she changes when baby gets here, or start to worry now?

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Re: If MIL keeps this up...

  • I would give her a little time.  Really, probably no one watch the baby alone for a couple of months.  If in March/April she is out of control, then maybe you guys will want to talk to her anyway.
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  • Is this a one weekend thing or a recurring issue.  If this is the only time it has happened then I would let it go.  Plenty of very responsible people have an over indulgent weekend on occasion it doesn't mean she is an alcoholic.

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  • I don't think she is an alcoholic by any means. Her drinking has just gotten more frequent and intense lately. She talks about it a lot too. Like how she closes down the bar and such. It is just very odd behavior for her. Like I said, FIL is an actual alcoholic so he doesn't see a problem with her behavior. I am becoming concerned however. 
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  • I wouldn't stress about it yet. My mom, the non-drinker, has indulged a few times in the last few years and ended up drunk. I would never not trust her for that, but it's because I know that's not HER. 

    Plus, people go through phases. My sister rarely drank, then went out every night for a few weeks, and is now back to being a homebody. Sometimes they just want to experience "the other side". Keep an eye on it, but don't worry yet! 

    DD 1.18.2012
  • She's not watching a baby when she's out doing these sorts of things so I don't see what the issue is. I mean, it may be unusual for someone her age to act that way but maybe it's not a midlife crisis so much as a celebration of freedom. :)  I wouldn't worry about it, but I don't know her. If you have an indication that she would continue this behavior while watching your child then of course you shouldn't let her watch the baby, but if she's responsible while babysitting and parties it up in her fre time then I see no problem.
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  • My MIL is a true non-functional alcoholic who lost her ability to think and converse logically many years ago. She literally drinks from sun up to sun down and doesn't eat, she's violent and a never leaves the home. She's lost all of her friends and family (immediate family is her only contact). I would say SHE should not watch my child, it sounds like your MIL should definitely not have the baby on weekend nights, etc. but can she be normal the rest of the time? If she typically respects your wishes then trust your intuition. I on the other hand will never trust my MIL, she hallucinates and never makes any sense. 
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  • Way to be 2 years late to the convo....
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