Mamas of ASD children

KristinaIsAGeek

Hi, all

 

This is my first time posting on this board, so please understand if I make a mistake/faux pas here or there. I just had my first, a boy, on 8/8. He was born at 35w3d, so he's a little over 6 weeks adjusted right now.

He's never really given us eye contact. He'll stare at us while we feed him pretty much every time, but that's it. When we hold him, he just looks around everywhere and no amount of high-pitched baby talk can make him look at us for more than 2 or 3 seconds.

He smiles now, but not in response to the smile of an adult. He hasn't done that yet. It's only when he's being played with that he'll grin and, even then, it's off to the side and not making eye contact. He's fussy very often, which makes me think he may have reflux, but I'm not sure if that's just something I'm telling myself to make excuses for him not being smiley or social.

 

I know, it probably makes me sound like a crazy FTM for expecting so much so early, but it's really unsettling to see babies younger than him (even taking adjusted age into consideration) hitting these milestones that he isn't.

 

I know that most health professionals won't diagnose ASD until 2 years, but did any of you ladies notice signs/symptoms/red flags earlier than that? Even in infancy?

 

Again, sorry if I sound crazy. I'm running on very little sleep and when everyone we come in contact with asks why he doesn't smile/look at people/etc., it makes me feel like my fears are being validated.

 Thanks in advance. 

lazysusan

I'm a therapist, but am coming at answering this more with a mom hat on.  Being in early intervention I was always analyzing everything about my kids.  A book that really helped especially with my first was "The Happiest Baby on the Block."  It talks about how the first 3 months are like a 4th trimester and that the baby is getting used to life outside the womb.  At 3 months they are like different babies laughing cooing...  It's great that your guy is smiling.  Vision in young babies takes awhile to develop, and he may not be fully able to focus/track yet.  It's hard to think of him at his adjusted age, and I'm sure family members also think he's older than he is.  It sounds like he's doing great to me.  Do your best to enjoy him  

GreenFlamingo7

I'm a lurker on this board due to having several SN kids in my family. I wanted to comment on your post, because it strikes close to home for me.

My LO was born at 35w 2d. I've also done the "is this right? why won't he look at me more? how does he compare on this development chart? etc" with my kiddo. What I have learned over the past 8 months is that even though our LOs were not far off from being term babies, they are not term babies. Not all preemies went through long NICU stays, but they may still take a bit longer on certain milestones and skills than others. It seemed like it took my LO forever to start smiling at us- I think he was nearly 4 months before it happened regularly. He's got his own schedule for things. I had to decide that if LO's pedi wasn't worried about the timing, then I couldn't stress over it or I was going to make myself crazy.

I worry about autism. I have 3 cousins that are autistic- and a few others that I am uncertain of their dx. I get that fear of wondering if your LO is okay. But you have to let him hit milestones on his own time- which means sometimes that he may not even hit them on his adjusted age.

Hugs, and I hope that some of the wonderful ladies on this board can give you specifics regarding their LOs.

LinZbb

Noticed around 2.

mommyof4boys

My youngest was born at 35 weeks and my twins were born at 32 weeks.  You need to look at his development NOT as an 11 week old but as a 6 week old.  Social smile doesn't happen until 6-8 weeks old.  If you have a concern, call your local EI team.  You are within your rights as he was premature.