Is this reall life? promise this is a true story. — The Bump
Childless not by choice

Is this reall life? promise this is a true story.

This is going to get really crazy, confusing, and at some point you are going to even think this post is MUD. I assure you...this is real.

My brother who is 33, married with 7 kids (yep, 7 because lets face it 2 or 6 just isn't enough). He and his wife have been having some marriage trouble and have taking time "off" a few times over the last year, the longest being 3 months. All of this is my SIL's doing. She and my brother have been together for a very long time (since high school) and she has been feeling like she isn't "in love" with him anymore.  Well, they were a few days away from making the divorce final when my brother drops a HUGE bomb on the entire family. 

He has father a child outside of his marriage. A little girl who was born in June. He has had DNA testing to confirm that the child is indeed his and he has full intentions of being a part of this kids life. AFTER he tells his wife this she decides that she in fact does NOT want the divorce and wants him to come home so they can work things out. WHAT? (I would MURDER)

The plot thickens.... the mother of this new tiny person is actually....a stripper. She had made the choice at around 11wks pregnant to place the baby up for adoption until my brother stepped in and would not allow for her to continue(a family was already selected, they even named the little girl, and were ready for her to be theirs). So now the birth mom has the baby full time, my brother is back home, and just had this new baby over the weekend. I, of course, am the bad guy for not coming over and fussing over the baby.

 I am just like WTF. WTF?!  This is so Days of Our Lives I can't even believe it is MY FAMILY. My hardworking brother, devoted father, husband, and not the one who even wanted to divorce to begin with...I am just...WTF?!  Add in the fact that again I have this whole "SERIOUSLY?" I am really the only person in my family who can't produce children just by thinking about sex? I know we were raised Catholic and birth control is a no no thing but ....I mean...at what point do you say to your self a little snip snip wouldn't be such a bad thing??

I maybe an awful person for what I am about to type. I am 100% okay with it. The baby should have went to the adoptive family. My brother should have respected the wishes of the birth mother and agreed to do the open adoption. He is now making her raise a baby she had no intentions of raising and isn't even there to give her the 24/7 support she needs to take care of the baby. 

 

Re: Is this reall life? promise this is a true story.

  • I agree with you, why should the poor kid be raised by someone who doesn't want to be a mother instead of a couple who are dying to be parents?
  • Wow! That is a crazy story. Don't feel bad about your feelings. I had the same thought about the potential adoptive parents when I was reading through your post too. ((Hugs))
    [IMG]http://i36.tinypic.com/2t9he.jpg[/IMG]
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  • I absolutely agree with you.  This is the scary part about thinking about adoption - people like your brother can stop your dreams from becoming a reality by snapping their fingers (no direct attack on your brother intended).  So sorry for you! 

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

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  • Oh wow.  That is a hell of a story... I feel bad for... everyone involved.  Geez.

    I think it's crappy that they would wonder why you didn't want to come over and ohh and ahh over the baby though... my family does that too. 

     

     

  • imagesillygirlio:

    Oh wow.  That is a hell of a story... I feel bad for... everyone involved.  Geez.

    I think it's crappy that they would wonder why you didn't want to come over and ohh and ahh over the baby though... my family does that too. 

     

     

    It is crazy, right? He actually brought the baby to our house a few days after what would have been my due date. I know he didn't know that but even DH was very emotional and had to leave the room.  Sometimes I feel as if my family doesn't really get the fact that there are no babies in our future. As if something magical will happen and a baby will end up on our porch.

  • Just a lurker.. 

     

    That story is wild and sorry your family is throwing this curve ball. I don't blame you for not fussing over this little baby, it would take me some time to accept this as well..   But in reference to the adoption (I'm a birth mom in an open adoption), the woman could have placed even though your brother might not have agreed.  There are some circumstances that this would not hold up, but generally speaking it was her choice to parent.  My DD's birth dad didn't want me to place our child, but it was my choice and it was the best thing for my child.  Just wanted to throw that out there that she made the decision to parent vs. place.

    BM to Kenzie 9/1/04 --- Married 1/22/09 --- Me 27 - DH 25 --- TTC our first since April 2010 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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