How to explain to a 4.5 year old about gay family/surrogate mother

akaoct2005

I hope you don't mind me posting over here...I thought I could find the best info here!  Thanks! 

My DD goes to preschool with a little girl and her younger twin brothers who have one gay father who used a surrogate.  She has know this family for 3 years and has always accepted the explanation that everyone has different families, some have 2 mommies, some 2 daddies, some one of each, and some just  with one parent.  But now she is understanding that babies, in simple terms, only can grow in a mommy's belly.  So she asked me, "So how can Jane have 3 kids in her family if there is no mommy?" which i know she meant, where could they have come from.  If they had been adopted, that would be one thing, but they are biologically the father's.  So any advice as to how i explain this to my 4.5 year old DD???  Or any books that I could read to her?

ctbride08

I'd start by asking the dad how he'd be most comfortable with you talking about his family or if he had any suggestions, but aside from that, I would just say something like, "Its true that only women can grow babies in their bellies. Isn't it great that someone gave Jane's dad the special gift of growing his babies in her belly? That woman was a very special helper to Jane's family."

When in doubt, just go with honesty

Two*True

Someone will chime in with something much more eloquent....

...but you could say something like "There are very generous ladies in this world that will sometimes loan out their tummies to grow a baby for another family.  These ladies are called surrogates and what they do is very special.  Your friend Jane and her brother's grew in the tummy of a surrogate.  When they were born their dad was waiting for them and got to take them home."

ETA: still typing while CT posted...see, I told you someone would have something better ;-)

2moms2twins

i concur with the two previous posters... HONESTY

-J

akaoct2005

Thanks so much!!

JLRHNR

ctbride08:

I'd start by asking the dad how he'd be most comfortable with you talking about his family or if he had any suggestions, but aside from that, I would just say something like, "Its true that only women can grow babies in their bellies. Isn't it great that someone gave Jane's dad the special gift of growing his babies in her belly? That woman was a very special helper to Jane's family."

When in doubt, just go with honesty

Couldn't agree with this answer more!