Does it ever really hit you that we're "old"? — The Bump
Parenting after 35

Does it ever really hit you that we're "old"?

I am 40.  I still feel really young inside and I know that ultimately, I'm still young.  But there are more and more instances where I realize how much older I am than others. 

 Not just with being a mom, which I'm almost always the oldest.  But in general.  I was getting my hair done and my stylist was talking about her life.  She is 22.  I just felt like, wow, I'm so not early 20s anymore.  I'm sitting there listening to her and while I feel like my life is much richer at this age, I can't shake the feeling that I'm not the "it girl" anymore.  I used to be her... young, cute and just starting out.  Now I'm wrinkled and she's dying my grays...lol. 

 Not sure if I'm sad or just realizing that I'm now the "middle aged woman", even if I feel like a 22 year old inside.

Re: Does it ever really hit you that we're "old"?

  • At heart I feel much younger than 41 so I know what you mean. Some of the moms in my mom group are 20 something and it's interesting to hear their conversations. I wish I could go back to having that "fresh" look but at the same time, honestly, I like that I'm not 20-something anymore and can focus on what's really important in life. It's OK if I'm not wearing the latest fashions and it's OK if not everyone likes me. I'm at a much better place in life, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I guess that's the trade-off as we get older. We lose our youth but we gain tremendous amount of wisdom and inner peace, I guess it's God's gift to us so aging won't be that bad ;)
    Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
  • imageNewMrs07:
    At heart I feel much younger than 41 so I know what you mean. Some of the moms in my mom group are 20 something and it's interesting to hear their conversations. I wish I could go back to having that "fresh" look but at the same time, honestly, I like that I'm not 20-something anymore and can focus on what's really important in life. It's OK if I'm not wearing the latest fashions and it's OK if not everyone likes me. I'm at a much better place in life, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I guess that's the trade-off as we get older. We lose our youth but we gain tremendous amount of wisdom and inner peace, I guess it's God's gift to us so aging won't be that bad ;)

    Great perspective.  I do admit, while I was sort of feeling old when listening to her, I was so glad I wasn't having to deal with all the drama of those years.  I love the place I am at now and when I finally sleep through the night again (haven't in 3 years), I'll be golden.

    I have to say I am a bit shocked at how quickly I came up on 40.  I think that's part of the disconnect when talking to these girls.... I feel like I am them because it was just yesterday.  Poof, here is 40!

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  • any time i actually feel old, i also feel thankful to BE in this place in my life- b/c i have ZERO desire to be back in my 20s, being insecure, etc.

    sure- i wish i had that body back- but otherwise I'll keep what i have for sure :)

    i loved my 30's so much more than my 20s... i'll be 39 in Feb - and i'm OK with that.

    I used to be Goldie_locks_5 but the new nest is so screwed up that I was forced to start over.
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  • 22 was always my favorite age too. I always considered it my best year - I was super cute, popular, doing well in school, travelled lots. 1996 really was an awwwweeesome year.

    Now I'm old(er), a little bit gray, a little bit wrinkly, but I've got a fvcking fabulous family, am incredibly content with my homelife and can go out for a few drinks with girlfriends without making a spectacle of myself.

    It's not better, it's just different.

  • 1996 was a good year, Heather. But I was 26... lol

    I enjoyed parts of my 20s but, overall, wish I hadn't been so stupid about things. I know I'm old but it is what it is... I have what I want and plan to enjoy everything I can about Aaron's childhood.

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  • imagerobynlesley:

    1996 was a good year, Heather. But I was 26... lol

    I enjoyed parts of my 20s but, overall, wish I hadn't been so stupid about things. I know I'm old but it is what it is... I have what I want and plan to enjoy everything I can about Aaron's childhood.

    Older and wiser ;)
  • I feel old when I'm in the mall, and I notice so many stores that are just not for me anymore.  I also feel old when I'm in the elevator in my office building and I hear the young chippees talking about their weekends or their love lives.  Their stories seem like 100 years ago to me...."Why hasn't he calllllled???"    I feel like my body is starting to hurt more, and that makes me feel old too.   I actually enjoyed my 20s. 30s were just "eh" until I met DH.  But now, I'm also more content in many ways, both personally and professionally. I love being married and being a mom...both  long-term goals which I'm happy to finally have achieved.

     
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  • I understand how you feel.  Every once in a while I realize I am not young (I cannot yet admit to being old yet but I will settle into it).  I loved my thirties....not quite old but able to push all the nonsense behind.  Now 40 this is a whole different place.  I am just happy that my children are still young enough to be too tired to make a big deal.  I am looking forward to fifty (the women of that age all seem so settled)
  • There are days (like today) that I feel my age.  Most days I feel pretty good though. 
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  • I usually feel pretty good about myself at age 40.  I'm happy with my life in general and am super blessed to have my DS.  There are times however, when I do feel old, like when I realize that the kids I used to babysit are in college or married.  Also, I follow a hockey team that has players ranging in age from 15 to 20 and just yesterday I thought...Yikes, I'm old enough to be the mother of any one of those boys and not have been a teenage mother!  YIKES.  Then I look at my DS and think, I'm glad I'm an older mom, but at the same time dreading menopause with a teen!  If we are blessed with another child, I hope its a boy..hot flashes and teenage girl estrogen can't be a fun combination!
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  • I was quite miserable at 22 for various reasons. Plus, I remember feeling pretty old then since I was already a mom.

    I get my dose of talking to a 21 y.o. girl every day (my oldest), and  I am aware of all the "fun" she is having right now. And yet I don't think we are that "old" yet. 80s is old, but not 40s. We still look reasonably good and are able to move around without being in an unbearable pain. We don't have age-related health issues yet. We should cherish these moments - 40s rule!

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  • I am young at heart, but I am starting to feel old physically especially when I am chasing Charlie around or trying to pick him up. :(
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  • My 40th birthday is coming up in about 2 weeks, so I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  Sometimes I wish I were still younger but with my life exactly the same as it is now - married to DH with my two awesome LOs.  But that is mostly because I wish I had more time with them and maybe a bit more energy.  And it would have been nice to have the perspective I have now when I was younger and maybe I would have been less shallow and would have had a better attitude and enjoyed life more.

    But I was never a confident young hottie and while I had friends and had fun, I like my life a lot more now.  I hope DH and I have lots and lots of years left together and will be able to see our kids grow up, find their path in life, get married, and maybe have some grandkids, and it is a little odd to find myself thinking of those things, but that is what I wish for now.  And I don't really feel old yet (except when I walk down the stairs and hear my knees crackling!).

    Eleanor Paige, born 3/27/08 Noah Christopher, born 10/2/10 Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I've learned to embrace my "middle age".  I love and embrace my "PTA Mom" role in life :-)  I'm 38.

    I work in student affairs/higher ed and I remember when I first started out professionally, right out of grad school, I called the students "students" and now I so easily refer to them as "kids"---what a change! :-)

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