Unedited rant.

changingnames

I may have to delete this since who knows if my mom knows how to bump stalk. I'm so annoyed by my obnoxious, living in denial, passive aggressive, did I say annoying? Mother. ?Today she told me she never really considered my infertility real (which she has been passive aggressively Letting me know for the last three years, it was nice that she finally said it out loud).

I told her that having tried to get pgnant for two years, going thru multiple failed medicated cycles and finally giving myself shots twice a day and having a triggered IUI, my infertility counted as much as anyone and that she should stop living in denial.??

She then gestured at ds2 (who was a surprise baby) as if to say (but I cut her off) that we didn't go thru infertility because we were able to get pregnant spontaneously with him. ?I said again that she should really google infertility in case anyone else in her life goes thru it because she clearly doesn't understand it (she really said every single thing to me that a person with IF doesn't want to hear when we were going thru it)?

I?threw in ?that she should stop living in denial about my son's autism diagnosis too. ?He has been in services for a year, been diagnosed with PDD- NOS and is in a special education classroom at school. ?He recieves 24 hours a week of spedial ed and aba funded thru the state per a week- they dont do that because they arent sure if a kid is impacted. ?If I say any of these things She dismisses them.??

?She tries to tear apart the credentials of the people he works with and just In general is in denial. She lives next door so this is a daily extra weight on my shoulders. She was a teacher in her twenties and 25 years ago got a masters and part of a phd in psychology but never practiced. ?She then starts citing her "credentials"?and tells me she taught kids like ds and they didn't call them autistic to which I said "well they do now, the definition has changed" she kept going on about having her masters to which I pointed out he had been dx by multiple PHDs and she said "oh well do they have thirty years experience with children?" ummmm you taught for less than ten years then quit working to sahm, that does not constitute trty years experience. ??

Since she married my father she hasn't worked or kept house (full help) and she doesn't do anything constuctive with her time, she doesn't like to leave the house so it's a lot of jigsaw puzzles and worrying about other people's lives and trying to control other people and that's what she does with her time.??

??she insists that she never says anything about her opinons- no she does things passive style like?talking thru my (3 yr old) son -"ds, when is mommy going to let you xyz?" ummm gee now that you suggested it maybe I'll do it cause lord knows I never thought of xyz and you know, made a parenting decision without consulting you. ?It can't be that we made this decision with his safety in mind.?

?Then she started whining about how I am beating her up and ran away. At least she left, maybe that will teach her to f-ing call before she comes over like I have asked her to a million times before. ?I feel like she is becoming such an old whiny, delusional old lady. ?That's right beotch I called you old!?

I so want to post something on fb like "sometimes people just need to put their big girl panties on and stop living in a state of denial". I've never done that before and I have a feeling passive aggression isn't the way to fight passive aggression. But I would love it right now. ?That would teach her to be such a creepy fb stalker. ?Yes my mom fb stalks me. Sent from my iPad

changingnames

Ahahahaha I had no idea it would be that long

changingnames

I know it isn't. And I always make fun of people who posts things on fb that ae obviously aimed at someone they aree pissed at. But for the first time today I was tempted to do just that. Only bc I knew it would embarrass the bejeesus out of her even without her name on it.

vanfox

The "Sent from my iPad" at the end made me laugh for some reason.

But your mom sounds mean and crazy and is acting like more of a child than your 3 year old. I hope she does Bump stalk you so she can see that strangers think she's nuts, too.

changingnames

I know I totally want to tell Her that I posted what she said and people think she is a nut bag. An old nut bag at that- bc she is very very sensitive and vain about aging.

I did once send her a c&p of the ten things not to say to someone going thru IF (someone posted it on a bump board). It was pretty much a list of things she had said to me. But like she said today, my IF doesn't count as IF because she doesn't want it to. So she diddnt even get that i was trying to tell her to stop saying such nasty stuff to me.

It's easier for me to format on the iPad if I type in an email and then c&p which for some reason stamps it with "sent from iPad" or whatever. Lame I know.

changingnames

It is getting so tiring having her cut down ds's therapies and behaviors. Having her tell me how this or that is totally normal and he will be just fine. She is constantly saying this and trying to knock our efforts and trials.

Yes he WILL be just fine bc we as a family (when it comes down to it this includes her) will do everything that we can possibly do to help him. We will find the thing that he is great at and help him develop that and strengthen the things that are tough for him. I don't doubt that he will be ok but I also don't doubt that he is on the spectrum and is going to have some real special difficulties to get thru. My mom and dad love my kids no doubt and I know my mom just wants to feel needed and useful and to feel like she is helping me, but she ISN'T! She is like dead weight in this when I keep having to tell her over and over again that he is in fact asd, please stop fighting with me about it!!!! It has been almost a year, it is time to move into acceptance, I have!! And yes I have taen her to the dr with us so she can heart from the horse's mouth. Arghhhh.

LynsiBHM

vanfox:

The "Sent from my iPad" at the end made me laugh for some reason.

But your mom sounds mean and crazy and is acting like more of a child than your 3 year old. I hope she does Bump stalk you so she can see that strangers think she's nuts, too.

same here! haha

Seriously though, don't post on FB. I make fun of those people too (mostly my 16 yr old cousins!)  It sucks that she lives so close. It sounds like your best bet would be to just live your life and keep her at a distance for awhile. Dealing with infertility and a child with special needs is hard enough with a SUPPORTIVE family... nevermind a passive agressive negative nancy of a mom!

Sorry you're dealing with this. I hope bump venting made you feel a little better!!

 

azzyberry

I am so sorry you have to deal with that. My DS was also dx'd with autism spectrum disorder and has been in ABA for over a year. I would lose my mind if I had to deal with that on top of everything else. In the beginning we got a lot of "well so and so used to do this and they are fine" comments and I just wanted to throat punch them.

changingnames

LynsiBHM:

vanfox:

The "Sent from my iPad" at the end made me laugh for some reason.

But your mom sounds mean and crazy and is acting like more of a child than your 3 year old. I hope she does Bump stalk you so she can see that strangers think she's nuts, too.

same here! haha

Seriously though, don't post on FB. I make fun of those people too (mostly my 16 yr old cousins!)  It sucks that she lives so close. It sounds like your best bet would be to just live your life and keep her at a distance for awhile. Dealing with infertility and a child with special needs is hard enough with a SUPPORTIVE family... nevermind a passive agressive negative nancy of a mom!

Sorry you're dealing with this. I hope bump venting made you feel a little better!!

 

It did make me feel a bit better. She is supportive in the way that she shows up and will physically help (well as long as it is something she likes to help with or is the list of things she does). If I really needed something my mom would be there but as far as emotional support goes I'm on my own. She is just anasshat when it comes to that, always has been there to cut me down. When I was in high school she called me fat all the time, I weighed ninety pounds and had a huge rack. That's just her style, doesn't make it hurt less though.

LynsiBHM

changingnames:

LynsiBHM:

vanfox:

The "Sent from my iPad" at the end made me laugh for some reason.

But your mom sounds mean and crazy and is acting like more of a child than your 3 year old. I hope she does Bump stalk you so she can see that strangers think she's nuts, too.

same here! haha

Seriously though, don't post on FB. I make fun of those people too (mostly my 16 yr old cousins!)  It sucks that she lives so close. It sounds like your best bet would be to just live your life and keep her at a distance for awhile. Dealing with infertility and a child with special needs is hard enough with a SUPPORTIVE family... nevermind a passive agressive negative nancy of a mom!

Sorry you're dealing with this. I hope bump venting made you feel a little better!!

 

It did make me feel a bit better. She is supportive in the way that she shows up and will physically help (well as long as it is something she likes to help with or is the list of things she does). If I really needed something my mom would be there but as far as emotional support goes I'm on my own. She is just anasshat when it comes to that, always has been there to cut me down. When I was in high school she called me fat all the time, I weighed ninety pounds and had a huge rack. That's just her style, doesn't make it hurt less though.

ok, now you're just braggin 

Just think- she gave you lots of ammunition to be a better mom!  Keep taking your stand with her- doesn't sound like she'll change, but it will make you feel better GL

chary412

Wow, that sucks she lives next door!    Might be time to get really strict with the boundaries...  if you want her to call before she comes over, and she doesn't, then don't let her in.  Lordy, she sounds like a piece of work.  

How on earth did you manage to type all that on your iPad?  Do you have javascript turned off? 

changingnames

azzyberry:

I am so sorry you have to deal with that. My DS was also dx'd with autism spectrum disorder and has been in ABA for over a year. I would lose my mind if I had to deal with that on top of everything else. In the beginning we got a lot of "well so and so used to do this and they are fine" comments and I just wanted to throat punch them.

The so and so Used to do that and they are fine comments are daily with her. The other day she was trying to dismiss his oral sensory seeking behavior (it is really constant and to keep him from biting me I have to give him chewy sticks) by saying she had a washcloth she liked to suck on as a kid. I told her I didn't know what her washcloth sucking meant but maybe she is a little autistic too.

changingnames

She acts like it's the end of the world if she admits it. He could be asthmatic, or arthritic, but he isn't. He's autistic. Deal with it.