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February 2012 Moms
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MIL question

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Re: MIL question

  • sparks2987sparks2987 member

    umm no!

    DH and I are only planning for both of us to be there, my mother might be in the room but I am not sold on that either.

    My MIL is attention seeking and she always has something wrong with her (she really does) this hurts, that is swollen, she fell, her blood pressure is high ect. ect. I was thinking about it until DH's accident and she stayed with me and him in the hospital, it was all about her needs, worries, fears ect. I slept on the floor so she could use the chair, she complained when I ate because DH was on a liquid only diet....hello I am pregnant I HAVE to eat! She complained about how helping DH out of bed when he had to use the restroom hurt her back ect. ect.

    Having all that negitivity was hard on me then, trying to stay calm for me and the baby was hard while she was FREAKING out and I cant do that in L&D!

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  • ClaireBear90ClaireBear90 member

    Not me! She wants to be, but my husband and I completely agree that I need to have as few people there as possible... and only ones who I am very close to/comfortable with. I understand her wanting to meet her grandchild asap, so I'll try to make sure she gets to see him/her reasonably soon after the birth. 

    Unless you are super close with your MIL and WANT her to be there, I see no reason for it. There is nothing rude about it, even if your own mom is there. She's your mom. :) (However, I'd be really careful not to mention it to your MIL and make sure your mom knows not to parade the fact that she witnessed the birth.) 

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  • Moore29Moore29
    I plan on just having my DH with me during the last part of labor and the delivery! I know with my SIL we were in and out visiting for short periods while she was in the early stages so I know it will be that same for me. But once the main event gets close everyone will be in the waiting room! (which will be packed since we have a rather large family plus several close friends who insist on being there!) Smile
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  • LuluP82LuluP82

    imagejparkinson:
    I should have added (which makes my argument harder) that my mom will definitely be in there.  My mom and I are VERY close and this is her first grandchild.  I couldn't imagine not having her in there....just really not wanting the MIL in there.  Maybe I'll be the "rebel" and tell her no.  Devil

    I think this is one thing where it's okay to include your mom and not the MIL, and she just has to get over it. I'm much more comfortable with my own mother than with MIL. I'm not having my mom in the delivery room, mostly because she lives far away and we don't think she'll make it in time anyway.

    However, we're having my mom stay with us as soon as we go home...and we're not inviting the in-laws for a month or so. I'm okay with anyone in my family being over when I'm recovering from birth and figuring out breast feeding, etc. But I'm just not comfortable enough with in laws to have them do the same. Plus they're super sensitive and I don't want to worry about offending them.

    Course our parents aren't close, and H agrees with me, so we're just not sharing that my family is invited first :)

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