- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Baby Names
gibbonlove
member
Lachlan
born March 2012
Using middle name as 'first' name
gibbonlove
member
in Baby Names
How strange/weird/annoying is it to give your baby a name, and then have them go by the middle name if the name flows better that way, but you don't want them to go by the first name?
What problems would they face that I'm not thinking of, besides maybe being called by their first name for school roll call or something. Is it just plain weird or confusing to do this? Thoughts?
What problems would they face that I'm not thinking of, besides maybe being called by their first name for school roll call or something. Is it just plain weird or confusing to do this? Thoughts?
Lachlan
born March 2012
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Using middle name as 'first' name
Some people hate this idea, but I've known a few people who have done exactly this. I don't really care one way or the other.
But - I would imagine there are issues professionally, or really in any situation where you go by Mary Smith, but officially a company is looking for Katherine M. Smith. I can see there being misunderstandings/mixups due to this.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
My husband's mother did this for the exact reason you are stating..she liked they way they flowed better. He goes by his middle name and it is a HUGE pain. At work his email is FirstNameLastName@whatever.com but he goes by Middle Name Last Name so no one can even ever find his contact info. When I got our car insurance I kept calling him by his middle name and then when I fille dout the papers I used his first name..the lady had already used his middle name for osme things just from me talking to her and everything got MAJORLY messed up.
Everything we do is such a pain. He HATES that his mom named him one thing but then called him another but he fills it's too late to just start going by his first name.
From our experience and all the headaches it has caused..I am VERY against calling a child by their middle name
One "problem" I just thought about - a friend started a new job about a year ago. For some reason, the company "had" to use her legal name in her e-mail address. I STILL have to think twice when an email comes in from her. I"m like "Who's Andrea? Oh - yeah, that's Marie.".
And thsi is just me, a personal friend. Professionally, I'm sure it's leading to more people calling her by her first name instead of her middle!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
My DH has always gone by his middle name, Scott. However when he started work at a new company last year they already had a Scott so he introduced himself as Mike (Michael). So now at work he is Mike and at home with friends and family he is Scott. It doesn't really cause any problems. He did always have to tell his teachers at the beginning of the year that he went by his middle name.
Personally though, I have always been of the believe that you name your child what you want your child to be called, I have never liked the going by your middle name thing.
Mom and DH both go by their middle names and made me promise to never do it to our future child.
Mom HATED it and said it was a huge pain when it came to passports, credit cards, banking, etc.
DH had his name legally changed as a child because it got too confusing.
My dad is known by his middle name, and it's also a huge pain. His first name is his father's name and one he doesn't particularly like. He's a Veteran and receives medical care through the VA, and cringes when his doctors call him the wrong name, and they refuse to note a different name in the chart. It's gotten so annoying to him that he's going to swap his two names legally.
On the other hand, my FIL and three of his brothers, plus two of the partners at my office, also go by their middle name and don't seem to have many problems with it.
Married Bio * BFP Charts
It can be very confusing and can cause problems. I will tell you about one of many problems my family ran into with my brother going by his middle name.
My brother was in the hospital w/ meningitis, my mom couldn't be with him bc she was pregnant and he was highly contagious and my dad was out of town on work, unable to get home. My mom got a call from the hospital and was told that her son had lost his hearing to the sickness which ofcourse freaked her out. But it was finally realized the hospital staff thought he lost his hearing bc he wasn't responding to his name - they were calling him by his 1st name which he didn't know.
That is an extreme scenario, but there were numerous smaller instances which caused frustration. My mom confided in me she regretted making the name they planned to use his middle name.
My dad is named after his father and doesn't want that connection so he goes by his middle name. Sometimes people call him Donald (his middle name is Don) if they don't know he goes by his middle name. Sometimes people call him Gerald (doesn't really BOTHER him. Just not what he'd introduce himself as) and sometimes people try to get friendly and call him Gerry (like cashiers and stuff who see his credit cards etc.) and that bothers him, but more because they are trying to be all buddy buddy and he doesn't know them at all.
I think enough people KNOW that his real name is Gerald that there isn't a ton of confusion, and he isn't the kind of person who would "correct" someone if they call him Gerald. When he calls the VA they call him Gerald and that's fine with him.
His mom and sister call him Donny. Which he hates, but more because it's childish than anything else.
This is my brother. His name is Joseph Andrew because his mother (my stepmom) wanted to name him Joseph after her father, but he goes only by Andrew. I have never once in my life heard anyone refer to him as Joseph.
Personally I wouldn't do it, but it has never caused him any problems.
I honestly don't think it's a big deal. To me, it's not much different than going by a nn... for example, I'm legally Elizabeth, but I go by Libby. Not everyone immediately recognizes that Libby is a nn for Elizabeth. It's not a huge deal though.
Last year when my dd started jr high, she actually chose to start going by her middle name (which kills me cause I love her first name). This was one of those "choose your battles" moments though, and it wasn't worth fighting over. So, for 2 years now, she's gone by her middle name at school. For her, the biggest problem is her friends who grew up calling her by her 1st name. Usually though, as far as school goes, they call her first name, and she says, "I prefer to go by ______" and that's the end of it.
This happened to my mom; ever since she was a child everyone called her Rhonda, but it's her middle name and her first name is Veronica (funny, because when she took my dad's last name it had "ron" in it too). the only thing I've ever heard her complain about is the fact that she HATES Rhonda, and would have much preferred being called Veronica, but she doesn't see a point of correcting people at this point, and I don't think she even knew this was the situation until she was older, haha. So I suppose that could be something to consider!
My grandpa always went by his middle name because his dad had he same name.
I've taught several kids in school that go by their middle names. I never asked them why. However I did like their middle names better LOL.
I have a friend that goes by Cookie. However her name is Debra. (she is about 45 years old)
I think it's an annoyance for boys (sometimes a huge one... like the work email situations some have described), but I wouldn't even consider it for a girl. I have several girlfriends who always went by their middle name and, when they got married, wanted to take their husband's last name and keep their maiden name as their new middle name. So essentially...
Ann Marie ("Marie") Smith marries John Adams.
AMS then wants to become Marie Smith Adams.
Well you can't just go to the social security office and drop your first name like you can your middle name when you get married. Each of my friends had to pay money and petition a court to have their first name legally dropped. Big pain in the a$$. But otherwise, they'd have 4 legal names. Equally as annoying.
Here's one that will blow your mind... my nephew goes by a nickname of his middle name.
He is "Joseph Cashion Lastname" and goes by "Cash". Cashion is a family surname.
I don't feel strongly about it but I personally wouldn't do it myself.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
Married 1/2/99.
TTC since 4/09.
Diagnosed PCOS. Diagnosed Hypothryoid 11/09.
SHG & SA normal. PCOS Research study started 5/10.
Clomid/Femara cycle #1 - 6/10 = BFN
Clomid/Femara cycle #2 - 7/10 = BFP #1 - Missed miscarriage 9/2/10
11/12 - BFP #2 - 11/22 - m/c
5/1/11 - BFP #3 - Pre-eclampsia, IUGR & bed rest from 32w. DD born via induction 1/4/12.
I am a teacher and this is soooo obnoxious. Just name thie kid what you want to call him/her. I know that sometimes things "flow" better in another order, but the only time his/her name will ever be read aloud is at graduation, and someone else will have a name with worse flow than your kid, I promise. I just don't understand it.
I knew someone whose parents did this. They wanted him to be named after his father, but they wanted him to be called by his middle name. It never impacted him negatively, really--the first time he met anyone he'd just say "My name is X, but I go by Y, my middle name." Problem solved.
To me, it seems crazy, but it can work if you're set on it.
I have a cousin who is a III and he goes by his middle name while his father goes by their first name: Wayne Robert H - Wayne is the dad and Robert is the son.
Also, our CEO is Wayne, and that's his middle name. FWIW, his stationary and business card, etc. just says J. Wayne H.
It's not likely something I would do, but it doesn't bother me at all if someone goes by their middle name.
BFP #2 12/20/11 | EDD 8/24/12 | Natural M/C 12/22/11
BFP #3 5/13/12 (Mother's Day!) | EDD 1/23/13 | Natural M/C 6/9/12 (blighted ovum discovered 6/7/12 at 7w1d)
"And to think when their little eyes opened, the first thing they saw was the face of Jesus."
My Ovulation Chart | My Baby Name List
This exactly. I can't stand it.
my father, brother, FIL and MIL all use their middle names. They have never had any problems. All your names should be on your passport anyway. and your middle name is still a "legal" name.
only issue was when my brother was in a coma we just put a sign above his bed saying my name is Kirk. Both my brother and Dad use their first name as an initial. I plan on burdening my son with this as well.
This
*Lurker butting in*
My sister-in-law named her daughter Audrey Isabelle with the full intention of the kid going by Isabelle (or Izzy). Well HER sister-in-law had a daughter about 6 months after Audrey was born and named the baby Isabelle (first name). This ignited a huge row that has left bad feelings to this day, and now Audrey goes by Audrey and Isabelle goes by Izzy.
My exact comment at the time was like most of yours: "If you want to use Isabelle, just name the kid Isabelle!" I still shake my head when I think about this debacle!
*Lurker butting out*
This is my experience exactly. I go by my middle name and hate my first name. It is not only inconvenient but the pain is constant. Do you know how much you use your name? For everything! Proving who I am is such a hassle. I sign up for things like email with my name that I go by, because that comes naturally. But everything legal has to be my first name, and I constantly forget if the Doctor has my first or middle, or if this bank account has that name or this name...I am legally having my first name removed completely because it has gotten worse the older I gets. I would NEVER allow my kids to have to deal with this. Really, it's not just the inconvenience, it's also feeling like I always have to explain my name everywhere I go. I have to hear people call me by the wrong name 10 times a day and correct them 10 times a day while they look at me like I am the weird one. I highly don't recommend it.
DH's great-uncle, and two of my uncles do this. It's no big deal.
Professionally, they just initial their first name. (So instead of being Maurice P., it's M. Peter). Not that confusing.
The rest of the time, they just go by their middle name. It's not like every time you introduce yourself, you have to explain your name: "Oh, my name is Michael James but I just go by James," any more than people who go by nicknames have to say, "I'm Catherine but call me Katy." (Those situations occur, but usually only when paperwork is involved. The rest of the time, we just casually give out the name that we use. People don't question it.).