I need advice...**UPDATE**
I came across a text conversation between my H and a good friend of mine (who happens to be the wife of H's best friend)....but he had deleted the beginning half of the conversation...what I came across was this:
H: U got quiet
F: Yeah, I thought E (me) was home...
H: Yeah she is, but I'm at the fire house
F: Oh...haha
H: Text me whenever tomorrow and have a fun last couple minutes of work
F: Ok...I'm clocking out now...can't wait to go to bed.
H: haha
F: Have a good night
H: You too
H swears up and down that nothing is going on, that she was texting him asking him questions about an upcoming CPR class at the firehouse. I asked why he told her to text him tomorrow (today) and he said to let him know if she was going to take it...even though he's not in charge of it. Although, he is the chief. I asked him why he cared if she was taking it and why he didn't tell her to go the person in charge. He has never done anything in the past to make me think he'd cheat...however, other douchebags in my past have. And I don't quite trust her...she flirts and flaunts very easily.
H and I laid in bed for 2 hours lastnight, talking, crying, him pleading his undying love for me...but I can't just let it go. I texted her and asked if she was texting him..she said yes, yesterday, and I asked about what. She said the CPR class, but that my H didn't know any of the answers, so she had to ask someone else. According to H he told her everything.
I don't know if I'm over-reacting because of my past or what...but something in my gut isn't sitting right....I've been sick about it all day...I've talked to DH a few times, and he still sounds upset about it too....
Getting it out kinda helped...the person IRL I'd normally vent to...is the girl involved. 
Re: I need advice...**UPDATE**
I asked him this. I said to me, it seems like he's hiding it/trying to cover his tracks. He says he's not hiding anything, that it wasn't an important conversation, and he thought that if he deleted it, then he wouldn't have to explain himself...thinking I woudn't know about it.
I would think it is kind of weird that they are texting each other. And if she was just asking about some CPR test, he wouldn't have been all like "u got quiet." It seems like they must have been carrying on an interesting conversation prior to that.
If it really was an innocent question about a class he wouldn't have deleted the convo. Personally I would be feeling pretty paranoid now and probably wouldn't be able to stop checking his phone. I hate that feeling. I hope you figure out the truth and whatever happens, good luck.
I am assume you're writing this under an AE, no?
Anyways, #1 thing that I have learned is trust your gut. Maybe he is logically explaining this away (although why would part of the text read about her getting quiet because she thought you were home). Still, something isn't sitting right with you and you need to address this.
Your post totally reminded me of a "Can This Marriage Be Saved" that was in the most recent issue of Ladies Home Journal. The husband swore up and down nothing had happened but she KNEW something had, and until he fessed up they couldn't really begin to work on things. You deserve and need to know. In the LHJ article it took him EIGHT months to fess up. That's a really long time for someone to lie, but not suprising. I think most only confess cheating when they have no other choice.
I would never text a good friend's husband in that sort of way. It's simply not appropriate.
Are your cell phones on a shared account? If so you can look at his call and text history (not the messages, but how often he is texting and receiving texts from her number).
This may give you a better idea if this is not an isolated incident.
Good luck!
I did listen to my gut...
And yes, this is an AE, because a bumipe on here is actually a nestie with me and I'm not ready for that yet...
H swore to me lastnight that she did not text him yesterday, he even showed me his phone. My gut was still not right, so I went to the verizon wireless site and checked his messages. H texted her at 6:11 am and they continued to text until around 2:30. He had deleted them again. I proceded to print out the list of messages. There is one day they started texting at 6ish am and continued texting ALL FREAKING DAY until 10:45 PM.
I called H just now on the phone and asked if he had plans for this evening because we needed to talk when I got home. He wanted to know why and wouldn't let up so finally I said that I'm tired of being lied to, I don't deserve to be lied to and I'm not going to be in a marriage that consists of that. He tried to say he wasn't lying, and I said that I have proof sitting in front of me that he's been hiding stuff for the past month.
His final response was "I'm done" and hung up on me. I texted him back this "I do love you. I do want to be married to you. I'm just asking for honesty, not hiding stuff." I've gotten no reply....
Now what?
*I just got my answer....he suspended my cell phone and changed the password on the verizon account. I guess my marriage is done.
I am very, very sorry! Call an attorney and record everything!
AND call that b********S Husband and show HIM the proof also!
((hugs)) to you Mrs.
You know I love you and I'm here for you if you want to talk off the boards. This board and the Starting Over board on TN are amazing. The ladies are wonderfully supportive, but also offer honest advice that sometimes you need to hear (even if you don't want to).
Like Megan mentioned on the nestie FB page, the fact your H is reacting to you calling him out by shutting off your phone and changing the password....that just screams that he's guilty of something.
You know I've been through the same thing. PLEASE do not hesitate to reach out to me off the boards. I'm here for you!
Thank you all for your advice. It really helps to talk about it and hear that I'm not over-reacting over this situation.
I'll keep you all posted on where it goes from here...
You are definitely not over-reacting- I am the type of person that under reacts too often- You should be PROUD OF YOURSELF!!
All too often, I think because we love our children so much, and know the love they have for their other parent causes us to allow them to hurt us to avoid the LOs being hurt!!
GOOD FOR YOU!! GOOD FOR YOU!!
You deserve happiness, love, and loyalty- and of course honesty!! Stay strong!!
Ugh. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
Reading your posts reminded me so much of what I was feeling when I realized that ExH was lying to me.
As much as it sucks, go with your gut. You won't regret it!
I just wanted to mention also that you might want to consider going to the bank and getting your own checking account if you don't have one. If you have a joint account and he empties it you are going to be SOL. Just a thought.
I really feel for you and I wish you the best.