do you have room for 1 more?

Mrsmaybebaby

Hello everyone! I've been lurking for several weeks as I've been trying to gather the nerve to admit my marriage is in ruins.

I'm 24, soon to be 25, and have a beautiful 15 month old little boy.  H and I have been married for 2.5 years but we have been together on and off since I was 15.  We were high school sweethearts, dated through college, and got married after we both graduated.  H's family has a strong history of mental illness but being blinded by his smooth talking and my need to "fix" things, I looked past is and never imagined he'd fall in the same footsteps. 

Recently, we've hit rock bottom financially due to his student loans and with a lot of M's medical bills. He's a special needs child so we see multiple specialists every week.  We moved into my parents apartment (attached to their house) after M was born to have extra help and would not have rent or utilities since I was starting graduate school.  

H's anxiety has been getting worse and worse over the past year, hes having multiple panic attacks almost daily over the smallest things, he has undiagnosed manic depression, and what I believe is bipolar or multiple personalities.  He enjoys yelling at me, telling me i'm ruining our marriage, we should have never gotten married or had M, I'm not a submissive wife (hell no I'm not, I've always been an independent, strong willed female) one minute...then 5 minutes later he'll express his love and affection for me wanting to go on lavish vacations. 

We are not on the same page fiscally and he is running our finances into the ground.  He's verbally abusive and has requested on several occasions that he wants a divorce and needs me to file so it makes him look better (really?!?)  

So, I'm done with his issues, I'm done with his craziness, and I have zero desire to deal with his emotional instability.  I have called a lawyer and waiting to hear back.

 

...and on top of this crap, I have a lump in my right breast that I have to go get a mammogram/biopsy next week. If all of this stress brought this one, may the Lord please hold my range back against him!  

Thanks for reading this, if you made it to the end! I totally appreciate any words of advice; if you guys will take 1 more I think I'll be hanging out with you gals! 

Sweet face 82

Hi and welcome!  I noticed that your LO is born in the same month as mine (yay for June babies) and the my DS is only a few weeks older than yours. Me and my STBXH were married about the same amount of time you were when I realized that my marriage was not what I wanted it to be.  I hung around another 6 months or so though trying to save our marriage.  Good luck to you!  Being a single mom is tough, but knowing that LO doesn't have to grow up seeing all that every day makes it worth it!   *hugs*

blissfullyignorant

Welcome. I wish I could think of something better to say but that's all I can think of. I'm glad you have the strength to realize you deserve better for you and your son. I can't say it isn't a rough bumpy road but for me it has been worth every second knowing how much better things are for me and my son.

pinacolodas

I am a lurker but wanted to say think we are in very similar situations. DH has aspergers and some of the things you wrote reminded me of him. Dh is currently living at his parents while I figure things out. Good luck to you, I know living with someone like this can be hell.

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